Thank you to all 70 of you who voted for my thread title 
and thank you to Sunday Times journo Hadley Freeman who coined the phrase (ref Meghan Markle).
* Now fellow Tattlers, listen up. In the world of the MGs it's all a matter of proportion.... Glasses of wine are small, Sir Lips Poutalot is a hunk, the hen house is huge, the nose is petite, the mouth is small and the flood trousers are long.
*.....oh.......and Lidl is "about 5'6" "......(give) or take two or three inches...
* The long awaited hen house has arrived. It's tiny. Now we are waiting for the hen.
* Actually, we are now waiting for the 6 foot high, fox proof fence and hoping it doesn't spoil the ASSthetic. Remember to bury the fence too as foxes dig, Ali!
* The hen house is an attempt to copy Jade Holland Cooper, who has the real deal. Her Cheltenham country pile makes the Bunga look like a doll's house for Barbie and Action Man.
* Lidl and paid for girlfriend Cawwie spent a weekend in Eyeland's
5 star Ballyfin Demesne hotel, owned by Relais & Châteaux.
* We guessed they were paying customers as we were privy to their true chavvy, toe-curling characters. Booming voices, cackling laughter, inappropriate comments, wine glasses filled to the brim and clamped in their hands at all times....and we had to endure an hour long cringefest of a vlog about it!
* It was, according to Lidl, their "first girls' trip eveeeerrrr"!!! Really? Proof that too much alcohol has killed off what brain cells you had Lids.
* Now we know why PR trips tire out Lidl - being on your best behaviour must be exhausting!
* Lidl forgot her socks but it didn't stop her pairing her mini dress with #gifted Dubarry boots for a wine hike. She then put her bare, sweaty feet on an ottoman. Euwww!
* Lidl complained she didn't have a bag suitable for the wine hike while acknowledging the "triage" of Hermès handbags on the chair behind her. Surely you mean trio Lidl? Or are you referring to your assessment for the asylum?
* They didn't bother with the country pursuits they love. Horse riding, clay pigeon shooting and even the spa were too muchmoney effort. It was easier to be a fairy.
* Ignoring the hotel request to wear life jackets, Cawwie rowed Lidl plus a bottle of wine onto the lake, where her drunken travesty posed for photos and pretended to row with the stern facing in the direction of travel. She was getting nowhere, as usual.
* Following the nuptials of Teefers and Splainer, jealous Lidl is ramping up speculation about a vow renewal, just like she did after FROW's 2019 wedding.
* She's talking about trying on ODLR wedding dresses, looking at wedding rings, following jeweller David Morris and creating bridal "lewks" with her newly dry cleaned wedding basque.
* Ms Lydia Millen, in her nana frock, was a poster girl for Forbes Magazine's "10 step guide to the ultimate Royal Ascot experience", after being dragged away from her wine at the #LKBennett London hosted event to be interviewed. She came in at #7 under the heading "Rub elbows with the celebs". Er, content creators are not celebs!
* ODLR spent thousands of pounds on a breakfast for influencers, to raise money for charity. Lidl was invited. You picked the wrong guest there Oscar!
* She is now lecturing us on taking a long stay dog from Battersea Dogs Home, after buying two pedigrees herself.
* Now her hair is "pure health", we are on yet another bloody hair journey. This time with someone else's hair! She's having her #greatlengthsuk extensions replaced.
* At this rate you will be half way round the world and can cut the hair off the poor Indian women yourself Lidl!
* Lidl has a friend. She's pally with Fleur, who always rescues our poor little attention seeking introvert from a dark corner at events. Fleur described Lidl as glowing. Yes Fleur...like a Belisha Beacon!
* Statuesque instagram beauty Kate Ozerov @stylensnitch was pictured with Lidl. With just 169k followers watch out for your job, Lidl!
* Lidl's paying her new PR agency to get her to finally admit #Globy was a failure. We told you that for free!
* In a vlog entitled Learning to Fail, she says she's never had to deal with failure before. Er, let us jog your memory dear...you could be teaching the topic by now!
* She blames Globy's failure on "Covid brain". Hmmm....I seem to recall you hadn't had Covid by June 2020, little liar Lidl.
* Lidl says she's not as good at vlogging as she used to be. We're not going to argue. We thought we had Covid brain!
* She's had her silver amalgam filling replaced. She shows us. It's now grey! I've got an idea. Keep your mouth shut!
* She's finally confessed her antique table was a rip off and she never received the photo of Princess Diana sat at it. Actually Lidl, your subscriber already sent you the photo and it was clearly NOT the same table!
*Talking of royalty, she's trying to channel The Princess of Wales but succeeds in looking like Lauren, the l.a. way's maiden aunt.
* She's ditched the ear furniture and ringlets for pearls and a sleeker lewk. It's like watching the metamorphosis of a chrysalis, only to realise it's a moth that eats all your cashmere jumpers.
* Lidl was spotted on Daylesford 's instagram at their monthly supper club. Coming soon to a vlog near you!
In other news
* Pouty McPout was invited to the Maybourne Riviera, in the South of France by #Aston Martin, and to Milan courtesy #Radisson hotels. He was pictured playing barefoot tennis, carrying a handbag, dancing like nobody was watching and staring longingly at a gelato. Go for it Ali. She's not there!
* Teeny tiny Ali was pictured with his tall macho mates at the F1 Grand Prix in neighbouring Silverstone. He was wearing his little white school vessy under an open shirt. Very short and cute....just sayin'.
* Vic was in Japan, but might have been in Scunthorpe for all we saw of the country!
* Mr and Mrs Irons managed to beg a honeymoon in Sicily from Belmond hotels.
* Lidl's stalker is now stalking "Troll Forum" Tattle! Make yourself known or fan off @Rexysmum!
Thanks to @Namima @Greentrees @Al Fresco @Julia123 @Missclassy19 for the screenshots.
and thank you to Sunday Times journo Hadley Freeman who coined the phrase (ref Meghan Markle).* Now fellow Tattlers, listen up. In the world of the MGs it's all a matter of proportion.... Glasses of wine are small, Sir Lips Poutalot is a hunk, the hen house is huge, the nose is petite, the mouth is small and the flood trousers are long.
*.....oh.......and Lidl is "about 5'6" "......(give) or take two or three inches...
* The long awaited hen house has arrived. It's tiny. Now we are waiting for the hen.
* Actually, we are now waiting for the 6 foot high, fox proof fence and hoping it doesn't spoil the ASSthetic. Remember to bury the fence too as foxes dig, Ali!
* The hen house is an attempt to copy Jade Holland Cooper, who has the real deal. Her Cheltenham country pile makes the Bunga look like a doll's house for Barbie and Action Man.
* Lidl and paid for girlfriend Cawwie spent a weekend in Eyeland's
5 star Ballyfin Demesne hotel, owned by Relais & Châteaux.* We guessed they were paying customers as we were privy to their true chavvy, toe-curling characters. Booming voices, cackling laughter, inappropriate comments, wine glasses filled to the brim and clamped in their hands at all times....and we had to endure an hour long cringefest of a vlog about it!
* It was, according to Lidl, their "first girls' trip eveeeerrrr"!!! Really? Proof that too much alcohol has killed off what brain cells you had Lids.
* Now we know why PR trips tire out Lidl - being on your best behaviour must be exhausting!
* Lidl forgot her socks but it didn't stop her pairing her mini dress with #gifted Dubarry boots for a wine hike. She then put her bare, sweaty feet on an ottoman. Euwww!
* Lidl complained she didn't have a bag suitable for the wine hike while acknowledging the "triage" of Hermès handbags on the chair behind her. Surely you mean trio Lidl? Or are you referring to your assessment for the asylum?
* They didn't bother with the country pursuits they love. Horse riding, clay pigeon shooting and even the spa were too much
* Ignoring the hotel request to wear life jackets, Cawwie rowed Lidl plus a bottle of wine onto the lake, where her drunken travesty posed for photos and pretended to row with the stern facing in the direction of travel. She was getting nowhere, as usual.
* Following the nuptials of Teefers and Splainer, jealous Lidl is ramping up speculation about a vow renewal, just like she did after FROW's 2019 wedding.
* She's talking about trying on ODLR wedding dresses, looking at wedding rings, following jeweller David Morris and creating bridal "lewks" with her newly dry cleaned wedding basque.
* Ms Lydia Millen, in her nana frock, was a poster girl for Forbes Magazine's "10 step guide to the ultimate Royal Ascot experience", after being dragged away from her wine at the #LKBennett London hosted event to be interviewed. She came in at #7 under the heading "Rub elbows with the celebs". Er, content creators are not celebs!
* ODLR spent thousands of pounds on a breakfast for influencers, to raise money for charity. Lidl was invited. You picked the wrong guest there Oscar!
* She is now lecturing us on taking a long stay dog from Battersea Dogs Home, after buying two pedigrees herself.
* Now her hair is "pure health", we are on yet another bloody hair journey. This time with someone else's hair! She's having her #greatlengthsuk extensions replaced.
* At this rate you will be half way round the world and can cut the hair off the poor Indian women yourself Lidl!
* Lidl has a friend. She's pally with Fleur, who always rescues our poor little attention seeking introvert from a dark corner at events. Fleur described Lidl as glowing. Yes Fleur...like a Belisha Beacon!
* Statuesque instagram beauty Kate Ozerov @stylensnitch was pictured with Lidl. With just 169k followers watch out for your job, Lidl!
* Lidl's paying her new PR agency to get her to finally admit #Globy was a failure. We told you that for free!
* In a vlog entitled Learning to Fail, she says she's never had to deal with failure before. Er, let us jog your memory dear...you could be teaching the topic by now!
* She blames Globy's failure on "Covid brain". Hmmm....I seem to recall you hadn't had Covid by June 2020, little liar Lidl.
* Lidl says she's not as good at vlogging as she used to be. We're not going to argue. We thought we had Covid brain!
* She's had her silver amalgam filling replaced. She shows us. It's now grey! I've got an idea. Keep your mouth shut!
* She's finally confessed her antique table was a rip off and she never received the photo of Princess Diana sat at it. Actually Lidl, your subscriber already sent you the photo and it was clearly NOT the same table!
*Talking of royalty, she's trying to channel The Princess of Wales but succeeds in looking like Lauren, the l.a. way's maiden aunt.
* She's ditched the ear furniture and ringlets for pearls and a sleeker lewk. It's like watching the metamorphosis of a chrysalis, only to realise it's a moth that eats all your cashmere jumpers.
* Lidl was spotted on Daylesford 's instagram at their monthly supper club. Coming soon to a vlog near you!
In other news
* Pouty McPout was invited to the Maybourne Riviera, in the South of France by #Aston Martin, and to Milan courtesy #Radisson hotels. He was pictured playing barefoot tennis, carrying a handbag, dancing like nobody was watching and staring longingly at a gelato. Go for it Ali. She's not there!
* Teeny tiny Ali was pictured with his tall macho mates at the F1 Grand Prix in neighbouring Silverstone. He was wearing his little white school vessy under an open shirt. Very short and cute....just sayin'.
* Vic was in Japan, but might have been in Scunthorpe for all we saw of the country!
* Mr and Mrs Irons managed to beg a honeymoon in Sicily from Belmond hotels.
* Lidl's stalker is now stalking "Troll Forum" Tattle! Make yourself known or fan off @Rexysmum!
Thanks to @Namima @Greentrees @Al Fresco @Julia123 @Missclassy19 for the screenshots.
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. And that bloody wonk ankle pose …. No little man, rolling your foot will not make you 6ft tall … not even 5”6 tall
