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Tbf i wouldn’t want sexy time after eating tacos 
I wanna see the card 🫢Bit of a mad one messaged me this morning and sent me a pic of the card i bought him 3 years ago. I just screenshotted it and rubbed the names out to show you but gave myself the ick because why did i write that no wonder he fucked offbut also.. why the duck did he keep it?!?!?
Sex was so/so just a quickie told him to hurry up and shove it in as i need to leave. Never forgot those magic hands though sorry tmi i was just so excited to tell you all hahahahahahahaalexa play madonna like a virgin
Im gonna rub out all of it apart from the ‘to’ and ‘from’ then ahahahahahahahahaha
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‘Lots of love’
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‘Lots of love’
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Random but I’ve just realised Mother’s Day is this Sunday 
so this is a warning for you all if you forgot like me. Boots next day delivery for the win 
so this is a warning for you all if you forgot like me. Boots next day delivery for the win 
Mother’s day is overshadowed this year because Liverpool are playing City, Kairo vs his dad xRandom but I’ve just realised Mother’s Day is this Sunday
Walker vs Walker. Father vs son. One has receding hair, one has
Wow you all not getting any action huh
Sucks to be us
Sucks to be us
Still not had sex in this house. My husband is FINALLY off nights and he drank two bottles of wine and 3 beers last night so he’s currently sleeping off the hangover.Wow you all not getting any action huh
Sucks to be us
I might piss on him if I attempted sex right now tbh. These antibiotics are doing tit for making this infection any better. Still peeing every 5-10 mins and still feel like a hot poker is poking my bits rather than a big, ahem, member.
Ouchie
hot water bottle on your stomach might ease a little .. that pain when you’re peeing vibrates right the way to your brain, hope they start working soon for yaNot ouchie
Think it's day 3 of celibacy in my house. Keep getting comments about 'do you right in the glitter' but no actual action.
All these birthday stories and ass action has my sphincter muscle retracting and I’m reliving the contraction pains
Fucksake birthing
Fucksake birthing
Sorry to get off the sex talk, but I’m going to look at a house today - we’re building a house back home so looking to downsize and move out of London to save a bit more money.
we currently have two beds with a garden in crap part of London, this is in a really nice area but is 1 bed (which we don’t mind) with a communal garden.
would we be mental to not have a garden? We’d probably save about £800 a month by moving.
we currently have two beds with a garden in crap part of London, this is in a really nice area but is 1 bed (which we don’t mind) with a communal garden.
would we be mental to not have a garden? We’d probably save about £800 a month by moving.
Normally I'd say you need a garden but if the area is better then go for it.
Yeah it’s WAY better, we’ll be moving to the Chalfonts, I don’t know if you know where that is. A lot nicer than London anyway.
I will ask her what the neighbours are like, because I like to grow veg/sunbathe / drink WKD at 10am.
I had a midday ride. Took one for the team ladies, your welcome 
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