LornaLuxe #39 Got Herself a Secondhand Kelly, Out of Work with a Rose’ Belly

[straighttothecomments]

Stretchy stretchy !

How I laughed when I saw this. What is the bleeping point??? You don’t look like this!

 

[debsydoorknocker]

Stretchy stretchy !

WTF??? Since when have her legs looked like tagliatelle ??

 

[pink_norris]

WTF??? Since when have her legs looked like tagliatelle ??

What growth juice is she drinking - oh pissing angel with a dash of Facetune

Still 5ft 3 and SquarePants shape, be real, you might gain a tad of respect

That jacket is gifted needs a reporting

 

[Its_Me]

Found the dream home within a week. Sure.

 

[Ohno25]

Methinks they're sharing all this moving stuff way too early. Maybe it's a nod to future collabs - so they can furnish the whole place with freebies

Found the dream home within a week. Sure.

 

[kaaa2]

She gives me James Cordon vibes. Why do I imagine her being a nightmare in restaurants and hotels and horrible to staff in high end stores never mind your local supermarket

 

[SGE32]

I have real second hand embarrassment watching her stories this morning. Old man raisin just sat in the back like a gormless fat toad. What does she think he brings to the table in regards to her Instagram page?

 

[straighttothecomments]

Jesus the state of them this morning. She’s like she’s had a massive skinful and 40 cigarettes

 

[Ohno25]

I have real second hand embarrassment watching her stories this morning. Old man raisin just sat in the back like a gormless fat toad. What does she think he brings to the table in regards to her Instagram page?

Also the 'HEEYAA' greeting is so effing annoying - really grates . Yawna maybe try another greeting for once!!

 

[onlynans]

I wonder if the "invisible house" that they drove past is the house they've got their heart set on. 2 million. The ultra modern look is what she wants and you know simpering John has absolutely no say in anything. Surely somebody so luxe and rich can afford that? She might need to sell some bags
Also it made me laugh "I can see us living there, I've already got my furniture in " what the one sofa, weird sheep, the chair she moves about, bed and easel!? That's all she owns

 

[styleoversubstance]

Ok lets get real here - theres 2 properties already for sale in their building/estate both about £350k and both have been for sale for some time. So lets say they want to raise another £750k to afford a large house in the Cotswolds if the flat was mortgage free (which surely it must be, hes 60). He’s at least semi-retired so theres no income there, and she’ll need to provide her (and his) self employed accounts…to which they’ll also request her estimated income for next year which is currently - £? No ITS contract anymore and anyone shes got deals with arent gonna pay nowhere near what she was on with ol’ Fris.

So at 40 and 60 theyre going to take on up to a £1m mortgage? With rates as they are and mortgages being withdrawn left right and centre and during a cost of living crisis? They must be insane… Imagine getting Old Saggy Balls through the life insurance medical - that alone is going to be astronomical for a fat, heavy smoking, alcoholic who does no exercise.

And I bet they have shitloads of credit card debt too.

I dont believe this for a minute but cant wait to see it if it actually happens. Imagine a marriage as bad as theres dealing with the money stress etc. There wont be anymore chanel bags will there???

 

[Deevee47]

Exactly! We’ve been looking for 4 years!

Found the dream home within a week. Sure.

this!!!!
I’m keen to hear how she gets out of it though- now she’s said that she’s found her dream home and they’re moving.
i bet it’ll all tragically fall through, he’ll have to take her away on hols to lick her wound and then they’ll decide to stay in their bedsit afterall as they never are there anyway nor do they entertain (apart from us over here at Tattle towers with their lies and behaviour!)

Ok lets get real here - theres 2 properties already for sale in their building/estate both about £350k and both have been for sale for some time. So lets say they want to raise another £750k to afford a large house in the Cotswolds if the flat was mortgage free (which surely it must be, hes 60). He’s at least semi-retired so theres no income there, and she’ll need to provide her (and his) self employed accounts…to which they’ll also request her estimated income for next year which is currently - £? No ITS contract anymore and anyone shes got deals with arent gonna pay nowhere near what she was on with ol’ Fris.

So at 40 and 60 theyre going to take on up to a £1m mortgage? With rates as they are and mortgages being withdrawn left right and centre and during a cost of living crisis? They must be insane… Imagine getting Old Saggy Balls through the life insurance medical - that alone is going to be astronomical for a fat, heavy smoking, alcoholic who does no exercise.

And I bet they have shitloads of credit card debt too.

I dont believe this for a minute but cant wait to see it if it actually happens. Imagine a marriage as bad as theres dealing with the money stress etc. There wont be anymore chanel bags will there???

 

[Its_Me]

Ok lets get real here - theres 2 properties already for sale in their building/estate both about £350k and both have been for sale for some time. So lets say they want to raise another £750k to afford a large house in the Cotswolds if the flat was mortgage free (which surely it must be, hes 60). He’s at least semi-retired so theres no income there, and she’ll need to provide her (and his) self employed accounts…to which they’ll also request her estimated income for next year which is currently - £? No ITS contract anymore and anyone shes got deals with arent gonna pay nowhere near what she was on with ol’ Fris.

So at 40 and 60 theyre going to take on up to a £1m mortgage? With rates as they are and mortgages being withdrawn left right and centre and during a cost of living crisis? They must be insane… Imagine getting Old Saggy Balls through the life insurance medical - that alone is going to be astronomical for a fat, heavy smoking, alcoholic who does no exercise.

And I bet they have shitloads of credit card debt too.

I dont believe this for a minute but cant wait to see it if it actually happens. Imagine a marriage as bad as theres dealing with the money stress etc. There wont be anymore chanel bags will there???

I haven’t looked at it recently but when I did (prob in 2020 lockdown) the flat was still mortgaged!

 

[styleoversubstance]

Exactly! We’ve been looking for 4 years!

this!!!!
I’m keen to hear how she gets out of it though- now she’s said that she’s found her dream home and they’re moving.
i bet it’ll all tragically fall through, he’ll have to take her away on hols to lick her wound and then they’ll decide to stay in their bedsit afterall as they never are there anyway nor do they entertain (apart from us over here at Tattle towers with their lies and behaviour!)

God knows their mindset - I honestly think they are both mentally not well and are one of those toxic pairings that make each other worse rather than better.

Also I was eating my lunch and read ‘lick her wound’ and that made me put my lunch down for a bit LOL

 

[Deevee47]

God knows their mindset - I honestly think they are both mentally not well and are one of those toxic pairings that make each other worse rather than better.

Also I was eating my lunch and read ‘lick her wound’ and that made me put my lunch down for a bit LOL

So sorry!!! Yes - I meant wounds… not have him lick her wound

 

[Same stuff different day]

She could use some truth serum
The Hermes headband

 

[Its_Me]

She could use some truth serum
The Hermes headband

I think it’s ole Henrikson whatever it’s called the brand she was smothering over her face

 

[pink_norris]

Ok lets get real here - theres 2 properties already for sale in their building/estate both about £350k and both have been for sale for some time. So lets say they want to raise another £750k to afford a large house in the Cotswolds if the flat was mortgage free (which surely it must be, hes 60). He’s at least semi-retired so theres no income there, and she’ll need to provide her (and his) self employed accounts…to which they’ll also request her estimated income for next year which is currently - £? No ITS contract anymore and anyone shes got deals with arent gonna pay nowhere near what she was on with ol’ Fris.

So at 40 and 60 theyre going to take on up to a £1m mortgage? With rates as they are and mortgages being withdrawn left right and centre and during a cost of living crisis? They must be insane… Imagine getting Old Saggy Balls through the life insurance medical - that alone is going to be astronomical for a fat, heavy smoking, alcoholic who does no exercise.

And I bet they have shitloads of credit card debt too.

I dont believe this for a minute but cant wait to see it if it actually happens. Imagine a marriage as bad as theres dealing with the money stress etc. There wont be anymore chanel bags will there???

This just this

She loves a purchase and doesn’t care where the money comes from, card debt or otherwise

Wondering if it’s a rental, no way can they get a mortgage or be cash buyers

 

[Same stuff different day]

I think it’s ole Henrikson whatever it’s called the brand she was smothering over her face

Not that truth serum - I meant the kind where she’s compelled to tell the truth!

 

[jessica191]

Also the 'HEEYAA' greeting is so effing annoying - really grates . Yawna maybe try another greeting for once!!

I honestly can’t cope with the way she asks him ‘haven’t we’ ‘didn’t we’ at the end of her sentences and he just sits there with a gormless grin. It makes my blood boil.