It’s July, and we’re in Santorini. Dodger ‘n Codger have been sweating their way around the pretty streets of Oia – Dodger wearing floral baby playsuits from the 1950s, and Codger looking like one of those pack donkeys that take tourists up from the port to the main town, stooping under the weight of all her clothing changes and all of his professional photography paraphernalia.
But I’ve leapt ahead. June started off just as the pair of them were about to leave Lisbon. Lorna very helpfully put together a little travelogue/trip highlights on her Insta page, for those of us who have never been to Lisbon and would like to know what it is like. There were pictures of her feet, pictures of her standing outside doors, pictures of the police staring at her in bewilderment, more pictures of her feet, and pictures of Michael Jackson’s ghost floating down the street in a nightie. I’ve already booked for next year. Can’t wait.
Whilst in Lisbon, they were obviously working very hard, shooting clothing for yet another new collection. This collection included a flamingo-pink micro-mini skirt with some ruffles at the back. We suspect she was meant to look like Carrie Bradshaw, but in reality she looked more like “For five dollah love you long time!” Each to their own.
Anyway, having arrived back in the UK just in time for the launch, Lorna was modelling some of the new Polyester Collection in the museum room, and managed to fashion a belt using some ribbon from the haberdashery box. Yes, she revealed that she owns a haberdashery box. We were all hoping that she’d start a weekly feature on her stories called “Needlecraft with Dodger ‘n Codger”, rather than a really boring GRWM, but so far we’ve been disappointed. A different feature title, maybe? ‘Stitchery and Bitchery’? ‘Tilting and Quilting’? I give up…
Shortly after arriving back in the UK, the hapless pair trotted off to The Lanesborough in London for a freebie stay, so that Lorna could take some of her fake friends to the Philip Kingsley salon for some freebie hair treatments to celebrate the launch of her new pleather pouch. What was in it, I hear you ask? Well, we were all expecting her to open up the pleather pouch to reveal a neatly packed McDonalds burger and some fries (super-sized up, obvs.), especially since she had decided to advertise her exciting venture whilst drunk and slurry, excitedly referring to the brand as Fillet Kingsley (hence the thread title, for any newcomers). Sadly, it wasn’t a burger and fries inside, but instead it was some specially chosen products that will make your hair as thick and luscious as hers. So, off she went to the salon to meet her friends, who all seemed to have received a memo about dressing in their gran’s nighties, and all the friends then spent many hours raving about their freebies on their respective stories. It really would have been so much more entertaining if there had been a burger in each pleather pouchette, but I suppose there’s a reason I don’t work in marketing.
Moving on swiftly, there were then a few days of trying on lots of shirts without bras and trying to look provocative, along with a few GRWMs to promote whatever brand was paying her that day, and then she announced that she was going to be releasing a swimwear collection…… You could have knocked us over with a feather. It’s quite difficult to shoot swimwear in Eastbourne and on the Isle of Wight, so the bags got packed and off they jetted to Santorini, even though the government is asking us not to travel to ‘amber’ countries. Poor Codger was only allowed one hand luggage, whilst Dodger had about seven large suitcases. I suspect five of them were filled with her ego.
The morning after they arrived, Lorna did a little introductory video with subtitles, explaining that Jenny had been exhausting last night (TMI, Lorna, TMI…), and that John had only come along to steam the money. These new UK plasticky banknotes don’t tend to crumple as much as the old paper banknotes, so I suspect John’s talents are being wasted, but perhaps the money fits better in the vault when it’s been steamed? Anyway, it won’t surprise you to know they’re staying in the same hotel, so we’ve been inundated with the same pictures of the same balcony, the same breakfast, the same views, the same jacuzzi……………. Y-A-W-N….
On one evening there was a wedding party at the hotel, so Dodger ‘n Codger decided to go and explore the village next to the hotel they’re in, as they’ve never been there before. They went to a really hip and trendy bar for drinks, and sat way at the back, with Lorna posting that they both felt really old. The following morning the picture remained but the caption had been removed, so perhaps she had second thoughts about telling her fawnas that she had spent an evening of her life not being the centre of attention.
Obviously the whole point of the trip was to go and film her summer (polyester) collection along with a swimwear collection, so all we’ve heard since they got there is how ‘ot it’s been. She’s so ‘ot that her fake tan is running in streams down her chest and legs, and all this ‘floaty’ clothing she keeps flogging doesn’t seem to be keeping her cool. Perhaps ‘fully lined’ isn’t such a high selling point after all, eh Lorna? Anyway, the collection launched last night, and obviously the hotel gave her roses and balloons and a magnum of wine to celebrate, probably because they think she’s famous or something. The swimwear is coming next, so we’re in for a real treat over the next few days whilst she is shooting that. With off-the-scale filtering and free boat trips galore, buckle up ladies, and enjoy the ride!
But I’ve leapt ahead. June started off just as the pair of them were about to leave Lisbon. Lorna very helpfully put together a little travelogue/trip highlights on her Insta page, for those of us who have never been to Lisbon and would like to know what it is like. There were pictures of her feet, pictures of her standing outside doors, pictures of the police staring at her in bewilderment, more pictures of her feet, and pictures of Michael Jackson’s ghost floating down the street in a nightie. I’ve already booked for next year. Can’t wait.
Whilst in Lisbon, they were obviously working very hard, shooting clothing for yet another new collection. This collection included a flamingo-pink micro-mini skirt with some ruffles at the back. We suspect she was meant to look like Carrie Bradshaw, but in reality she looked more like “For five dollah love you long time!” Each to their own.
Anyway, having arrived back in the UK just in time for the launch, Lorna was modelling some of the new Polyester Collection in the museum room, and managed to fashion a belt using some ribbon from the haberdashery box. Yes, she revealed that she owns a haberdashery box. We were all hoping that she’d start a weekly feature on her stories called “Needlecraft with Dodger ‘n Codger”, rather than a really boring GRWM, but so far we’ve been disappointed. A different feature title, maybe? ‘Stitchery and Bitchery’? ‘Tilting and Quilting’? I give up…
Shortly after arriving back in the UK, the hapless pair trotted off to The Lanesborough in London for a freebie stay, so that Lorna could take some of her fake friends to the Philip Kingsley salon for some freebie hair treatments to celebrate the launch of her new pleather pouch. What was in it, I hear you ask? Well, we were all expecting her to open up the pleather pouch to reveal a neatly packed McDonalds burger and some fries (super-sized up, obvs.), especially since she had decided to advertise her exciting venture whilst drunk and slurry, excitedly referring to the brand as Fillet Kingsley (hence the thread title, for any newcomers). Sadly, it wasn’t a burger and fries inside, but instead it was some specially chosen products that will make your hair as thick and luscious as hers. So, off she went to the salon to meet her friends, who all seemed to have received a memo about dressing in their gran’s nighties, and all the friends then spent many hours raving about their freebies on their respective stories. It really would have been so much more entertaining if there had been a burger in each pleather pouchette, but I suppose there’s a reason I don’t work in marketing.
Moving on swiftly, there were then a few days of trying on lots of shirts without bras and trying to look provocative, along with a few GRWMs to promote whatever brand was paying her that day, and then she announced that she was going to be releasing a swimwear collection…… You could have knocked us over with a feather. It’s quite difficult to shoot swimwear in Eastbourne and on the Isle of Wight, so the bags got packed and off they jetted to Santorini, even though the government is asking us not to travel to ‘amber’ countries. Poor Codger was only allowed one hand luggage, whilst Dodger had about seven large suitcases. I suspect five of them were filled with her ego.
The morning after they arrived, Lorna did a little introductory video with subtitles, explaining that Jenny had been exhausting last night (TMI, Lorna, TMI…), and that John had only come along to steam the money. These new UK plasticky banknotes don’t tend to crumple as much as the old paper banknotes, so I suspect John’s talents are being wasted, but perhaps the money fits better in the vault when it’s been steamed? Anyway, it won’t surprise you to know they’re staying in the same hotel, so we’ve been inundated with the same pictures of the same balcony, the same breakfast, the same views, the same jacuzzi……………. Y-A-W-N….
On one evening there was a wedding party at the hotel, so Dodger ‘n Codger decided to go and explore the village next to the hotel they’re in, as they’ve never been there before. They went to a really hip and trendy bar for drinks, and sat way at the back, with Lorna posting that they both felt really old. The following morning the picture remained but the caption had been removed, so perhaps she had second thoughts about telling her fawnas that she had spent an evening of her life not being the centre of attention.
Obviously the whole point of the trip was to go and film her summer (polyester) collection along with a swimwear collection, so all we’ve heard since they got there is how ‘ot it’s been. She’s so ‘ot that her fake tan is running in streams down her chest and legs, and all this ‘floaty’ clothing she keeps flogging doesn’t seem to be keeping her cool. Perhaps ‘fully lined’ isn’t such a high selling point after all, eh Lorna? Anyway, the collection launched last night, and obviously the hotel gave her roses and balloons and a magnum of wine to celebrate, probably because they think she’s famous or something. The swimwear is coming next, so we’re in for a real treat over the next few days whilst she is shooting that. With off-the-scale filtering and free boat trips galore, buckle up ladies, and enjoy the ride!
and at 15:10 she was already postings answers to the Q&A
