Lonliness

[Kim Mild]

I feel most lonely when I'm around other people . I feel like I never fit in , and that I'm just tolerated.

I don't have any close friends, more acquaintances that I rarely interact with ( and vice versa) . I'm an only child , and my parents are both dead. I think I only started to experience true lonliness that I feel in my soul once my parents had died.

 

[Kim Mild]

It's working age adults that seem to be the lonliloneliest . Everyone sympathises with elderly people, particularly widowed ones and there are social initiatives aimed at them .
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I live with my husband and 3 kids but I go a very long time without anybody speaking to me nicely. Which I think is a subject for another thread .

 

[Ladida90]

Ladies, I really relate to this thread, and I appreciate the person who started it. It seems that middle-aged women have it the hardest. Seniors usually have someone checking in on them, whether it's a neighbour, a caretaker, or a friend to reach out to. We come home to a cat or a partner if we’re lucky. I didn’t start feeling lonely until my late 20s. At that point, I lost my friends, as they either had children or moved away. I stopped going out and found it difficult to enjoy meeting new people. Small talk and saying hello to the till lady were the highlights of my daily interactions.

As I turned 30 and later 35, I got married but still childless. I’m in my 50s now. My husband became my best friend, but I still keep in touch with fewer than ten people, some family, some from work. It took me years to learn to enjoy my own company. For anyone who is struggling, I encourage you to try something different, go to a café by yourself.

Loneliness can leave you feeling numb, and even if you want to make friends and have a life, you end up isolating yourself. I battled anxiety and depression, but fortunately, that has improved. The real difficulty is when you become numb and feel generally miserable all day every day. It’s hard to dig yourself out of that hole but it’s doable.

Things are looking good for me now, but to all the women in their 20s and 30s please prioritize loving yourself and make an effort to treat yourself. It truly helps. Take yourself somewhere nice once a day. A run, coffee, cinema, walk in the park… anything goes really.

 

[annanuttall]

I have my moment. Since realising that I'm in my 40s and everyone I know has kids - which is fine but my husband and I (by choice and not by choice, it's a long story) choose to stay childless. It really hard for a woman my age to find a childless friend, someone who just wants to do all the fun things like you - so I recently joined a BFF 'dating' (dating might be the wrong word but you know what I mean) app/site. Still getting to grip with it.

 

[Kim Mild]

Lonliness and feeling lonely keeps coming up on other threads I'm on so I've started a thread for it.

 

[Kim Mild]

I feel like I have so much to say and I never get conversations to say it. Thank God for tattle eh.

 

[Beaversabout]

I've found even when you get out there and join clubs etc it still sucks. Im Too self aware and I also do not enjoy my own company, so im trying to learn to like myself a bit more. It's SOOO hard though.

 

[Mothballs]

I moved with my husband when we retired from work and while he has made friends with other men in the street I haven’t been able to make any connections despite inviting some of the women for a cup of tea or a drink. They never respond and then I feel like a fool.

 

[Reality_tv_lover]

I feel most lonely when I'm around other people . I feel like I never fit in , and that I'm just tolerated.

I don't have any close friends, more acquaintances that I rarely interact with ( and vice versa) . I'm an only child , and my parents are both dead. I think I only started to experience true lonliness that I feel in my soul once my parents had died.

I feel this I don't have close friends and never seem to fit anywhere

 

[Becca1922]

I have no one apart from my husband and dog, hubby has gone away for weekend, I will not see or hear from anyone until he comes back, yep it's sad, and it does bother me, I feel like one of those folks who die and no one finds for weeks, if it wasn't for my husband and dog, I wouldn't bother in this life.

Like you I just have a hubbie too, and last year I swore to myself I had to get myself out there . Its hard to make friends when you hate people . I found a social badminton group that is one hr a week and even though every Wednesday I say ugh I dodnt want to go I always feel lighter after . I recently joined yoga. Every Friday for a wind down after the week and even though i might know these woman it is putting me in a social setting where I'm part of group I'm doing good for myself . It's hard to put yourself out there when you don't want to but do it for you do it for your brain you will thank yourself . I promise it gives you a little pep in yourself . Xxxx

 

[Kim Mild]

It isn't just a feeling of lonliness, sometimes it's the lack of people being around to call on for practical support.
My youngest is ill and I have to take them on the school run with me. It's things like that.

 

[Kim Mild]

Ladies, I really relate to this thread, and I appreciate the person who started it. It seems that middle-aged women have it the hardest. Seniors usually have someone checking in on them, whether it's a neighbour, a caretaker, or a friend to reach out to. We come home to a cat or a partner if we’re lucky. I didn’t start feeling lonely until my late 20s. At that point, I lost my friends, as they either had children or moved away. I stopped going out and found it d

ifficult to enjoy meeting new people. Small talk and saying hello to the till lady were the highlights of my daily interactions.

As I turned 30 and later 35, I got married but still childless. I’m in my 50s now. My husband became my best friend, but I still keep in touch with fewer than ten people, some family, some from work. It took me years to learn to enjoy my own company. For anyone who is struggling, I encourage you to try something different, go to a café by yourself.

Loneliness can leave you feeling numb, and even if you want to make friends and have a life, you end up isolating yourself. I battled anxiety and depression, but fortunately, that has improved. The real difficulty is when you become numb and feel generally miserable all day every day. It’s hard to dig yourself out of that hole but it’s doable.

Things are looking good for me now, but to all the women in their 20s and 30s please prioritize loving yourself and make an effort to treat yourself. It truly helps. Take yourself somewhere nice once a day. A run, coffee, cinema, walk in the park… anything goes really.

I didn't feel lonely until my late 30s when my last surviving parent died and the pandemic. I was quite sociable in my late teens /20s , although most of my interactions were superficial, I never felt lonely. Interestingly , that was pre social media.

Being content in your own company is a life skill

 

[MissJoT]

I live alone and WFH 2 days a week. I go from getting home Monday to going back Thursday morning without speaking to anyone apart from any work calls. Some weeks it doesn't bother me in the slightest then another I can struggle.

I'm like that this morning. Sunday, weather is rubbish and even though I have plans this afternoon I'm really feeling it.

 

[Flowergirl14]

I moved with my husband when we retired from work and while he has made friends with other men in the street I haven’t been able to make any connections despite inviting some of the women for a cup of tea or a drink. They never respond and then I feel like a fool.

I find it hard to make friends outside work. But I joined an evening class 5 years ago, and met a guy who lives near me and grew up near where I am from. We now meet up for a coffee or a drink in the pub every 2-3 months….and keep in touch on WhatsApp.

 

[Maid22]

I have no one apart from my husband and dog, hubby has gone away for weekend, I will not see or hear from anyone until he comes back, yep it's sad, and it does bother me, I feel like one of those folks who die and no one finds for weeks, if it wasn't for my husband and dog, I wouldn't bother in this life.

 

[Kim Mild]

I was quite upset this morning when I read the announcement. I didn't realise how much of a support system I find on here.

 

[teeniebopps]

Hi all, I’m lucky in the sense that I have family and friends, however I’m in my 40’s, living alone, no partner or children and just the cat. To see friends it has to be planned so there are lots of occasions where I feel like I have too much time on my hands and am lonely/bored. I lived alone for 6 years and never felt lonely, but had a friend living with me for the last year who has recently moved out and am wondering how I never felt lonely before. There’s only so much tv you watch and books you can read.
I’m occupied with work during the day but the evenings now feel strange with no company.

 

[Quattro formaggi]

I moved with my husband when we retired from work and while he has made friends with other men in the street I haven’t been able to make any connections despite inviting some of the women for a cup of tea or a drink. They never respond and then I feel like a fool.

You are not a fool. It’s their loss if you are reaching out and being generous. Keep asking as someone will respond eventually and it may lead to a friendship x
---

I have my moment. Since realising that I'm in my 40s and everyone I know has kids - which is fine but my husband and I (by choice and not by choice, it's a long story) choose to stay childless. It really hard for a woman my age to find a childless friend, someone who just wants to do all the fun things like you - so I recently joined a BFF 'dating' (dating might be the wrong word but you know what I mean) app/site. Still getting to grip with it.

What is the app called out of interest? How did you get on with it so far?

 

[MissJoT]

Whilst I don't post much it's a comfort knowing it's here. Even if there's no one around to reply sometimes just typing out how you're feeling in a low moment helps.

 

[Maid22]

My hubby is back, he's had a good time and he deserved a break, I'm still struggling, I had a breakdown years ago, it totally changed my life, left with chronic anxiety to the stage where I hardly leave the house, pisses me off when folks use mh and anxiety as an excuse for their behavior.