Liz Jones #7 If she's got two faces, why does she wear that horrible one?

[Miss creant]

Well I think she’s been told to change from her vile condemnation of one and all and not mention names. It was getting nastier and nastier, playing the poor me game. But what I don’t understand is how if the male guest used her bathroom how did the guest en suite revolt her. I think she’s not very good at cutting and pasting when typing.
is this taking in of guests because everyone she knows has formed a class action lawsuit to get her to cease and desist from writing about them so she who has no life must conjure up dreary fodder?

 

[sunshine13]

Well she's filled the back page of You magazine. Job done for this week. What's the betting it'll all be forgotten by next week. Either that or she'll eke it out for a few weeks... next week: designer items ( with names) for the spare room, then onto her trials and tribulations with phone conversations (don't they know I'm profoundly deaf?) ... etc etc
And it's not the bloody vicarage.

 

[Mediastar]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely duck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

 

[sunshine13]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely duck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

I reckon her days of drearying are deffo numbered. I foresee a 'sabbatical' before she fades away - hopefully quietly.

 

[One eyebrow raised]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely duck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

Dear DM, please employ Mediastar whose writing is infinitely clearer, more incisive and far funnier than anything the wearisome dog tormentor can come up with.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely duck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

Early I know, ut I laughed out loud at the BIB. (Tinily tweaked)

Liz Jones #8 "A croissant in a slimy, malodorous oubliette"

 

[sunshine13]

Early I know, ut I laughed out loud at the BIB. (Tinily tweaked)

Liz Jones #8 "A croissant in a slimy, malodorous oubliette"

I had to Google Oubliette, but yes, yes, yes!!!!

 

[sunshine13]

Apparently she's fabulous this week.

 

[Miss creant]

Apparently she's fabulous this week.

Omg when was she never

 

[MacPishFlaps]

This weeks offering!

 

[AliCat69]

I especially enjoyed the lack of irony in this statement... didn't he write something less than complimentary about the marriage a couple of months ago?

"I was on the cusp of 50 when I found out my husband was cheating on me and, in a way, I was relieved: he wouldn’t have to witness me grow old. I would always be an amazing memory in his brain, a pinnacle he’d never be able to replicate".

 

[sunshine13]

I especially enjoyed the lack of irony in this statement... didn't he write something less than complimentary about the marriage a couple of months ago?

"I was on the cusp of 50 when I found out my husband was cheating on me and, in a way, I was relieved: he wouldn’t have to witness me grow old. I would always be an amazing memory in his brain, a pinnacle he’d never be able to

I especially enjoyed the lack of irony in this statement... didn't he write something less than complimentary about the marriage a couple of months ago?

"I was on the cusp of 50 when I found out my husband was cheating on me and, in a way, I was relieved: he wouldn’t have to witness me grow old. I would always be an amazing memory in his brain, a pinnacle he’d never be able to replicate".

I'm increasingly thinking that, as someone said a while ago, she's not real. This is the result of putting key words into an AI Bot and asking it to produce a back page article purely to fill space and generate responses.
The real LJ is happily ensconced in her annexe cackling away at us ordinary folk who engage with these word salads each week.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I especially enjoyed the lack of irony in this statement... didn't he write something less than complimentary about the marriage a couple of months ago?

"I was on the cusp of 50 when I found out my husband was cheating on me and, in a way, I was relieved: he wouldn’t have to witness me grow old. I would always be an amazing memory in his brain, a pinnacle he’d never be able to replicate".

I almost laughed aloud at that, too.

Also, slyly comparing herself to Trueman Capote as a writer ("Like me he was ostracised for writing about people he knew . . . ") - Puh-leeeese!

Capote could write. Actually write.

He didn't just churn out mindless self-pitying drivel.

 

[Mediastar]

Ohhh Goddd... it's just so bleeping rinse and repeat!
Your husband cheated because you're lacking in everything, you bewildered old baggage. Your personality is toxic, you look awful, you are evidently tit in the sack but your lack of awareness means that none of this registers and the reason that no-one comes back for seconds is that you are too fabulous. That your very ex-husband thinks dreamily of you when knocking one out.
Wake up and smell the coffee, lovey. You haven't managed to hang on to one man in your life. It's not them - it's you, and every day that passes takes them further from their mistakes, whereas you revel in yours, not recognising or acknowledging your multiple failures.

 

[Miss creant]

Ohhh Goddd... it's just so bleeping rinse and repeat!
Your husband cheated because you're lacking in everything, you bewildered old baggage. Your personality is toxic, you look awful, you are evidently tit in the sack but your lack of awareness means that none of this registers and the reason that no-one comes back for seconds is that you are too fabulous. That your very ex-husband thinks dreamily of you when knocking one out.
Wake up and smell the coffee, lovey. You haven't managed to hang on to one man in your life. It's not them - it's you, and every day that passes takes them further from their mistakes, whereas you revel in yours, not recognising or acknowledging your multiple failures.

Hit nail head hammer
Well said

 

[islastclair]

New to this thread, I do read her column every week, she needs to have a word with herself, I wish my problems were like hers,

 

[Mediastar]

There's some bilge about that American news anchor's Ma online... can anyone see it? Bearing in mind her own behaviour towards her own mother, I fear the worst...

 

[ThePelican]

There's some bilge about that American news anchor's Ma online... can anyone see it? Bearing in mind her own behaviour towards her own mother, I fear the worst...

I can see it, Mr Starr, sir. Using the kidnapping as a peg, Liz has produced 800-odd words about her fractious relationship with her own "ma", into which she blends speculation about Savannah Guthrie's feelings. That's about it. Sir! Yes, sir!

 

[Miss creant]

I can see it, Mr Starr, sir. Using the kidnapping as a peg, Liz has produced 800-odd words about her fractious relationship with her own "ma", into which she blends speculation about Savannah Guthrie's feelings. That's about it. Sir! Yes, sir!

All about her as usual from the narc and speculation another wonderful narc quality .

 

[Mediastar]

I can see it, Mr Starr, sir. Using the kidnapping as a peg, Liz has produced 800-odd words about her fractious relationship with her own "ma", into which she blends speculation about Savannah Guthrie's feelings. That's about it. Sir! Yes, sir!

I thought as much. You'd think she'd have the sense to steer clear of mothers (and families in general) bearing in mind her excrable dealings with her own. Who can forget the poor old dear being bed-ridden and photographed for column fodder without being in a position to give permission, while Juggo stuck a disposable apron over her coat for a 15 second photo op trying to look 'caring'? Or the number of family funerals from which she's been barred?
The lack of self-awareness beggars belief, time after time.