Liz Jones #7 If she's got two faces, why does she wear that horrible one?

[TheMiceInTheShed]

If she could have chucked more money at keeping the dog alive she would have opted for that. She has learned nothing about keeping suffering dogs alive longer than necessary. The way she describes the dogs tail shaved due to hygienic reasons is that the dog was crapping and weeing itself because it couldn't get up. That would distress the dog. I'm more sad that the dog suffered longer than need be rather than Liz's misery.

I was going to post the same.

That poor dog suffered so much more than she need have done. This isn't love; it's pure selfishness. I don't doubt that Liz will suffer terribly and convince herself it is because she's lost her best friend. It isn't. It's self-pity.

Real love for your animal companion is to bite the bullet and do what is best for them. Accept that their life has become a burden to them, that they have lost all dignity, are in pain, distress, or even are just tired and ready to let go. And then help them out of their suffering by having the courage to bring in the vet.

She describes the dog suddering - to me that suggests that the animal is in inexpressible pain. It should never have reached that stage. As the saying goes - Better a week to early than a day too late.

RIP Mini. Your poor faithful heart is free now. (And I hope that your owner doesn't take on another animal that she can't train or properly care for.)

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely fuck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

Early I know, ut I laughed out loud at the BIB. (Tinily tweaked)

Liz Jones #8 "A croissant in a slimy, malodorous oubliette"

 

[SamBamford]

If she could have chucked more money at keeping the dog alive she would have opted for that. She has learned nothing about keeping suffering dogs alive longer than necessary. The way she describes the dogs tail shaved due to hygienic reasons is that the dog was crapping and weeing itself because it couldn't get up. That would distress the dog. I'm more sad that the dog suffered longer than need be rather than Liz's misery.

 

[Sonz1981]

That poor dog. She’s just being cruel now. My 16 yr old Staffie had lymphoma and when she was soiling herself and unable to walk I let her go. Putting her to sleep was the hardest thing I ever did but also the kindest. I still miss her but you can’t keep a dog with no quality of life. Liz is being unbelievably selfish about that dog.
as for the way she treated David I hope he finally tells her to fuck off. Also what’s wrong with a man having a bag for life? Am I missing something? Plus get a cheaper washing machine you insufferable woman. No one cares about the names of things just grow up’

 

[Blurp]

But remember, she drives very slowly due to being terrified.

Isn't it without glasses as well?

First thought through my head was when I read that crap was:
I'm a single woman with no children, vegetarian, rarely wear an apron and I've lived back in the country for twenty years. I've had absolutely no problems with being hated or mistrusted. The only problems I've had were with neighbours who were generally described by everyone else as 'pricks'. I used to edit the community magazine until it all went online. Everyone is generally and genuinely friendly but then I don't think of myself above them. During COVID everyone pulled together, and during my chemo my neighbours couldn't have been more helpful. My dogs eat proper food and the pet store in the next village is happy to deliver. I will agree with her about the subtitles though I think that my problem is more due to auditory processing glitches in my brain rather than my fancy Bluetooth hearing aids from the NHS.

I think her problem is that she is an unlikeable bitch who thinks the sun shines out of her scrawny arse and that she is far above all these mere yokels.

 

[Geranium]

I have three elderly dogs, two fifteen and one fourteen, and the loo roll and disinfectant is always at hand! However, I have wooden floors throughout and all of them are capable of getting out of bed - it's just being caught short in the night, not making it out of the open door in time, or I'm not speedy enough letting them out of a closed door. As someone in their sixties with a dodgy bladder, I can sympathise with my old ladies! Pottering around in the garden and sunbathing on the warm drive is now their thing rather than long walks and one needs a run up to get up the steps. They love their [dog] food and, even more, dog treats. I'm really conscious of any smell there might be but not one of them soils their bed.

My previous dog lived to be 17. His legs gave way on his last walk and I had to carry him home but he struggled to get down as we reached our hours so I put him down and he walked in under his own steam. I never took him on a walk again but he lived another 6 months just pottering around the house and garden.
one day he couldn’t get out of his bed and his eyes said enough.
oh gosh I’ve made myself cry, please give your old ladies a cuddle from me xx

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

It's all about how she feels and not the suffering dog. She makes it sound like the funny tumour is quirky. All of her assumedly beloved animals seem to suffer longer than they should, if she throws money at it to keep it alive, that is right in her world.

I firmly believe the old adage - "Better a day too soon than an hour too late." She's a selfish bugger!

 

[Mediastar]

It's such epic bollockery. Top to wrinkly bottom. More evidence that she has absolutely fuck all squared to write about. One minute she's devoted to her dying dog, the next she wants a succession of strangers tramping through her annexe and hoping they have sex? Before having breakfast in the dog's lav? Oops, sorry "courtyard garden". We've seen your backyard, love... I wouldn’t take a breath let alone a croissant in that slimy, malodorous oubliette. If this is the future of the Dreary, increasingly mentalistic fantasies, then it must, surely, be heading for the knacker's?

 

[dee_mc]

That's a particularly horrible piece.
It doesn't seem to occur to her that not everyone is like her. Not everyone has a history of Anorexia and those who do, don't all have the same experience and mindset as Liz has.
There are so many other eating disorders and so many reasons for people to find themselves overweight, sometimes dangerously so, and Liz can't relate to the feeling of achieving a goal (in this case losing excess weight) and feeling proud and happy and grateful to and for the body. Liz can't fathom that not all fat people hate their bodies.
She doesn’t understand that not everyone is striving for perfection and not everyone is so self-flagellating that they only look in the changing room mirror to see how big their arse looks. Newsflash Liz: some of us are just checking whether the clothes we're trying fit properly.
She didn't necessarily write the provocative headline but she did write the rest of that pile of absolute shite and she should be ashamed, as should whatever editor deemed it suitable for publication.
Also, re all this guff about covering mirrors and avoiding her reflection all the time and only using a compact mirror when applying makeup: why all the complaints about the light above the mirror in David's bathroom not working then? She got nearly as much mileage out of that one as she does out of the Dunhill fecking lighter.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Brace yourselves

What.

A.

Load.

Of.

Shyte.

How does she get paid for this rubbish?

 

[sunshine13]

The irony of her quoting "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything."

 

[TheStrawberryThief]

Liz moans that women won't sacrifice a personal life for a professional life, yet where did that get Liz?

She is in her 60s, no partner, no family that will speak to her, no friends that don't work for her, no money and no security. She sees all relationships as coin operated, and doesn't understand why putting in coin after coin doesn't dispense undying loyalty.

She is incapable of admitting that women can be successful without sacrificing friends and family, because doing so would be admitting that her own sorry state was her fault for being so difficult to be around.

She loves animals because they are the only living things in life that can not escape when they are sick of her.

 

[LottieM]

If Liz and Nirpal had had a child together, he or she would be in their 20s now. Liz would be spending her time trying to pair them up with someone with wealthy parents (e.g. Damien Hurley, Kate Moss’s daughter) and continually reminding them of the running total of money they she’s spent on them - starting with a designer cashmere babygro (dry clean only): ‘I bought you the most beautiful outfit costing £300 and you were sick all over it. I couldn’t wash it so it ended up in the dog’s bed. Why do you hate me???’ Etc etc etc.

 

[TheStrawberryThief]

Who

Or that you would be immortalised in print for breathing loud or using to much loo roll.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

To be honest, could the Lidl supervisor do any worse writing that Liz?

I think we all know the answer to that . . .

I have to confess that I also have a lot of trouble with the Lidl self-service tills, but I have never had any unpleasantness from any staff member who's come to help me out. They're always very kind. I've had comments similar to the one above but not said in a nasty way - more in an "They take some getting used to" sort of way. And I'm willing to put money on that's how it was meant when the supervisor said it to Liz. It wasn't meant as a snark, but she chose to take it as one.

In life I largely find that people treat you the way you treat them. If you are pleasant and respectful, they will return that attitude. If you are rude and dismissive, ditto. Retail staff are in the unenviable position of having to be polite to very rude people for a lot longer than they would tolerate them in their personal lives. I honestly think that Liz goes in with an attitude, looks for things to get arsey about (and manufactures them if there aren't any), and then uses them as an excuse to treat people like .

She's appalling..

 

[Sam5262]

I cannot believe the DM pay her to write such drivel she really is an insufferable piece of work. Is she ever nice to anyone?

 

[LottieM]

Liz must have spent more time writing about her marriage than she spent actually being married.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Is the Airbnb listing in the room with us now?
No. No it isn't.

It would ruin my holiday break if I had that guring harridan snarling smiling at me as I went out or came back. And I could just image her checking the inventory looking for ways to claw back a chunk of cash because there was a single hair (PUBIC! ) left on one of the sheets . . . also - you'd probably have to wade through dog poo getting to the door. This likely applies whether you are inside or outside the property.

 

[sunshine13]

Things which never happened ... again. But she managed to mention her ex husband, her deprived childhood and her designer towel. And of course her selfless generosity to her unappreciative family. Again.

 

[Mediastar]

Ohhh Goddd... it's just so fucking rinse and repeat!
Your husband cheated because you're lacking in everything, you bewildered old baggage. Your personality is toxic, you look awful, you are evidently shit in the sack but your lack of awareness means that none of this registers and the reason that no-one comes back for seconds is that you are too fabulous. That your very ex-husband thinks dreamily of you when knocking one out.
Wake up and smell the coffee, lovey. You haven't managed to hang on to one man in your life. It's not them - it's you, and every day that passes takes them further from their mistakes, whereas you revel in yours, not recognising or acknowledging your multiple failures.