Learning to drive.

hogwartsgraduate · Aug 22, 2021

I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

Rippedjeanmaybe · Aug 22, 2021

hogwartsgraduate said:
I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

Definitely get rid of the instructor! You’re paying them for a service, you shouldn’t be treated that way. I ditched my first instructor because of his attitude and my next instructor was really nice and it helped me massively. The more on edge you feel the more you will make mistakes. Change the instructor!

Thank(space)you · Aug 22, 2021

hogwartsgraduate said:
I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

Definitely sounds like you need to change instructor

Ahahha · Aug 22, 2021

Hello all here is a question should I do my theory before I do some driving lessons also I really have bad anxiety what's the best advice also manual or automatic sorry for the questions

BettyCrockerr · Aug 22, 2021

Ahahha said:
Hello all here is a question should I do my theory before I do some driving lessons also I really have bad anxiety what's the best advice also manual or automatic sorry for the questions

Start looking at the theory stuff and get the theory test booked in, then book some lessons in. start doing your lessons between now and when your theory is booked for.

have a go leaning in a manual - if you find it really tricky and the issue is with the gears etc then swap
to automatic if that’s more suitable for you. Just remember that if you take your test in an automatic then you’ll only be able to then drive automatic cars. but it’s up to you. you won’t know until you try a few lessons in a manual - so just give it a go.

jawidjanqndn · Aug 22, 2021

thank you all for your advice. couldn’t appreciate it enough will update you after my lesson!

hogwartsgraduate · Aug 22, 2021

Thankyou for advice! I really appreciate it and reading back through the pages I actually feel alot more confident on standing my ground and getting a new instructor. Those that are anxious I'm right there with you!
My next lesson is tomorrow morning which I will do as I've already paid for it and she's doing a mock test so let's see what happens lol!

BettyCrockerr · Aug 22, 2021

hogwartsgraduate said:
I've had about 12 double lessons, passed my theory well but I hate my lessons I get so anxious, can't sleep etc etc... My instructor is ex army and if I make a mistake, not even a dangerous one, she will say 'WHY did you do that?' in a real attitude and the lesson doesn't carry on until I provide a suitable answer - sometimes I don't know why .
The whole experience is feeling a bit soul destroying and being close to the age of 40, mum of 2 and recently also redundant I could do with not feeling like I do... I don't know if I should switch to automatic or even instructor or just ride it out

You need to change instructor ASAP. I’d also report her for this behaviour. it’s not on and she shouldn’t be allowed to carry on like this.

Complain about a driving instructor

Complain about an approved driving instructor (ADI) if you're not happy with their service or behaviour

www.gov.uk

change instructor and have A few lessons with a new person to see how that feels. How are you with driving - are you getting on ok with it or not so much?

hogwartsgraduate · Aug 22, 2021

Thankyou for your advice, I will definitely have a look round for someone else to take me out, I thought I'd done some good research first off - but obvs not right for me.

I feel im getting on fine tbh, nothing terrible that needs addressing - just the constant confidence at an all time low.

Thank(space)you · Aug 22, 2021

hogwartsgraduate said:
Thankyou for your advice, I will definitely have a look round for someone else to take me out, I thought I'd done some good research first off - but obvs not right for me.

I feel im getting on fine tbh, nothing terrible that needs addressing - just the constant confidence at an all time low.

Confidence is my biggest thing too and tbh I think it is with most people.

kittypaws · Aug 26, 2021

I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

under the ivy · Aug 26, 2021

kittypaws said:
I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

Huge congrats!!!

Rippedjeanmaybe · Aug 26, 2021

kittypaws said:
I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

That’s amazing! Well done for persisting and not giving up! I hope you enjoy your freedom!

hogwartsgraduate · Aug 26, 2021

kittypaws said:
I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!! So pleased for you and I will take on your positive vibes!

LadyB65 · Aug 26, 2021

kittypaws said:
I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

The biggest congratulations to you lovely!!! It’s life changing so so happy for you!

nightfeedz · Aug 26, 2021

kittypaws said:
I passed my test yesterday!!!! Still can’t quite believe it, I was convinced I was going to fail! Everything just went my way and I only got 2 minors!

A year ago I was an absolute mess when it came to driving. I hated my lessons, felt sick the day and morning before and would even cancel them cos my anxiety was so bad. I’ve been learning on and off for 10 years and had so many barriers it’s been unreal. It’s been such a long journey but I never gave up. I was close at times but I was determined and I have FINALLY done it! To anyone reading this who is feeling like I used to, please take it from me that you CAN do it. I never thought I would and today I’ve driven to Asda by myself and filled my car up with diesel. This is just the very start of the rest of my life

Huge congratulations! I’m so pleased for you, how amazing. Near had a wee happy tear for you, an inspirational Asda trip, my dream xx

kittypaws · Aug 26, 2021

Thank you everyone!!!! I’ll still be on this thread to help others and offer any advice I can! Xxx

Belulah · Aug 27, 2021

kittypaws said:
Thank you everyone!!!! I’ll still be on this thread to help others and offer any advice I can! Xxx

Beyond thrilled for you! Like you said it’s the start of a new life! Well done-enjoy every minute!

Thank(space)you · Aug 30, 2021

Got my test next month eeek, excited and scared. Any tips for my last few lessons? Doing 2 lessons a week at the moment

Belulah · Aug 30, 2021

I had them every day in my last week. Used all my savings but worth it. For me it was manouvers on repeat. I feared them so much.

Thank(space)you said:
Got my test next month eeek, excited and scared. Any tips for my last few lessons? Doing 2 lessons a week at the moment

Wanted to add I am sending you all the positive vibes in the world! You know you can drive. Its just holding your nerve- easier said then done.

Learning to drive.

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