Learning to drive #2

[under the ivy]

Good luck to everyone with lessons & tests this week!

Had a lesson this morning with the sat nav - was ok! I took the wrong left though but my instructor says it’s fine if you do that on the test, as long as it’s safe.

3 more lessons til my test now! I’ve been on this thread since this time last year and I can’t believe my test is in a fortnight!

 

[Dramabyname]

Thank you for your kind words. I didn’t pass today, nerves 100% took over and I made a silly mistake at a roundabout. Cried all the way home haha!
I’m allowing myself tonight to wallow and eat my emotions then tomorrow I’ll pick myself up

 

[hogwartsgraduate]

I've had a break from driving since late last year and I'd posted on these threads about a bad instructor I was having - but now I have a new instructor and I'm giving it another go! Still have nerves and the feeling it's never going to happen but let's see ...

 

[sparkles710]

First lesson booked with new instructor. Ditched the last one as he thought I should be able to drive by watching YouTube

 

[Thank(space)you]

Despite driving for just over a year now I still hate reverse bay parking, I've managed to do it twice recently, once was a very tight spot. So feeling proud of myself

 

[noseybirdxo]

My instructor gave me a list of show me tell me questions and the answers to read over and it's made me even more nervous because I know if I get one or both of the answers wrong it'll set me up for a bad test

I found watching youtube/videos of the show me tell me questions really helpful, depending on what type of learner you are - you may find that helpful x

 

[Thank(space)you]

Even though I've been driving over a year now, and I'm generally a good driver, I still live in fear of losing my licence or getting a speeding ticket or something

Also, I want to buy a spare tyre. How do I know what kind I need

 

[noseybirdxo]

I’ve had an absolute nightmare with trying to do my driving test.

The first test I had booked was for the 8th of October, but 3 weeks before one of the cancellation apps, that I had, rebooked it for me in the night to a test that was 2 days away! I then managed to get another test date for last week, but they called me up the day before my test and said the examiner was no longer available.

They rebooked it for this Wednesday and now I’ve just had a call from my driving instructor saying his car isn’t working He’s borrowing another driving instructors car, but I’ve never driven it and I’ve already got awful anxiety. He’s giving me a free lesson tomorrow so I can try and get used to the car but now I just feel like I’m definitely going to fail. Maybe I’m not meant to drive

My instructor got a new car the week before I was due to do my first test, changed from a mini to a new clio. Think of it this way - you can drive, you’re doing your test! You’re not gonna drive the same car your examiner has forever either, you can apply everything you’ve learnt to any car. Good luck

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm so glad I found this thread

I'd like to share my experience so far and would love your feedback

I've always avoided learning to drive because I was too scared of it. When I was 16, my mother wanted to teach me to drive and I refused, pretending I wasn't interested, but I was just scared. Here in France it's normal for everyone to have their licence, it's actually weird if you don't have one (even if you don't drive a car). It was starting to be a problem for my job searching (I was let go of my job because of covid). Important note : I am a very anxious person

So, at 26, I decided to force myself and started with the theory (after a year thinking about it because I was too scared lol) : here you need to pass a written test with questions and situations (with pictures and videos) and you can only do 5 mistakes max to pass (out of 40 questions). I missed the first exam with 6 mistakes, went back the next day and passed with 5 mistakes, fiou.

Then I found a driving school. Before going in for my first hour, I had to stop in front of the building and cry because of all the built up stress. The teacher spent 30 minutes explaining me things that I barely understood because of how stressed out I was, then when it was time for me to "drive" (you only get the wheel at first), I got teary eyes while trying to explain to the teacher that I was terribly scared of driving.

I ended up with 40 hours of lessons between May and October (minimum required here is 20 hours). It wasn't easy, but I got more comfortable as time went on, though I was still very scared and anxious. After those 40 hours I went for "accompanied driving" (I don't know how to translate, I was driving with my husband in the car). Problem is I was terrified of driving with no one having the pedals in case I'd fuck up, so we ended up not driving for like 3 months... and then I was too scared to drive again. We were supposed to drive everyday, by the way.

Since around April, I've been trying to force myself to drive to the grocery store and such once or twice per week but everytime I have to drive I get extremely scared beforehand. I've been with that "accompanied driving" since November and I have barely driven the car, to be honest.
We were supposed to drive on the fast lane, but didn't.
We were supposed to train parking, but we didn't.
We were supposed to drive super often to make me confortable, we didn't.
We were supposed to go to the exam's course, but we didn't (there's like an area in the city where the exam happens but it's not an actual set path).

I try to find excuses not to drive because I get scared (I can spend 3 weeks without driving and of course then the stress is worse...). I get this overwhelming stress before driving, it's actually worse BEFORE driving than it is when I am driving. I don't faint or have panic attacks or cry, it's only inside stress building up.

My teacher tried to contact me twice since April and I had to tell her I wasn't ready yet...
In the end, I don't feel any more confident than I did when I left the school in November. I think I actually feel worse.

I forced myself and got a set date for the exam, it's at the end of September, and I booked a couple driving lessons (fake exams) with my teacher for September. It's in a week and I'm freaking out. I know she's gonna be disappointed in my level and I'm scared to drive with her again.

I know that I'm not ready. I feel like I've forgotten some of the theory, I don't know what to do in some situations, I still get "dumb" when something stressful happens (an example from just a few days ago : I was driving and there was a stopped bus and I didn't know if I was supposed to overtake it and I stayed behind the bus, and 30sc after that happened, my husband told me three times that we were gonna go left and I was hearing "right" in my head and went right....).

I know why I'm scared to drive : I have very low self confidence and I'm scared I'm going to fuck up and have an accident or do something wrong. That's also why I'm super not confident for the exam, I feel like I'm definitely going to mess up. I also know how much responsibility driving is and I usually avoid responsibility in my day to day life because I get too stressed out, again, all coming from my lack of confidence.

I think I'm gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow and ask if they have anything for stress, even if it's placebo shit, I don't care anymore. I feel like I need something to help me a little because this is too stressful.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk

Driving anxiety is very common and something a lot of us experience. I used to spend some lessons crying and not doing any driving, I'd cancel my lessons, I'd be shaking. I hate it.
I'd definitely look into a medication, pharamecutical or herbal, to help. Also, watch driving videos on YouTube, do guided driving meditation (at home, not whilst driving!) Tell your instructor how you're feeling. Visualise being a good driver. Repeat to yourself "I am a calm, competent driver"

You will get there


I passed my test nearly a year ago and I still don't like driving someone cut me up yesterday and almost caused me to crash. I've had my car break down before. I get scared driving to new places. I still have to tell people to be quiet and let me concentrate. But my confidence is still improving compared to when I first passed.

 

[Sallyspal]

Long time lurker, first time posting on this thread. I failed my driving test this morning for a silly reason and feel so disappointed.
But like someone said, it was great practice though and I feel like I know what to expect next time.
Just curious if anyone has any advice for the second time around?

well done for taking the test - it doesn’t feel it now but itis one step further to passing! It took me 4 times.. what I will say is book asap (RIGHT NOW!!!) and look for cancellations on the apps that are available and don’t give up… I was so close to giving up and so glad I persevered now

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Does having private practise make much difference? I have my test booked in March which my instructor says I should be ready for so I'm on the final stretch now. For the past month I've been going out in the car with my boyfriend and it's just draining and hes so horrible when i make errors. I've been in tears this afternoon, that Its so bad I decided I can't go out in a car with him again. He is actually normally a nice calm guy and we have a normal relationship but get in a car with him and it's just a totally different person. Whenever I make a mistake the way he screams at me you'd think id just run someone over. Today I moved into a lane too early and he went crazy saying I was gonna cause an accident. Last week he shouted me to stop and made me swap infront of loads of traffic. Sorry for the rant, just feel gutted that I have a car sat outside and no one else to go out with me. Just makes me so angry the way drivers get angry with learners like they wernt in that position once

Stop going out in the car to practice with your boyfriend. It’s not going to do you any good with regards to your driving and it’s the kind of thing that can cause rifts between the two of you in your relationship!!!!!
As a driver, it is difficult to be a passenger in a car with a non driver - particularly when you’re in a regular car with no dual controls - he will be naturally seeing and reacting in his head to things oj the road and as a learner you won’t be perhaps picking up on the same things - it is frustrating.
I never had any additional practice outside of my lessons - passed on my second attempt.
Concentrate on your lessons and your upcoming test

 

[Woahhreality]

I’ve had a lot of stress recently and being able to drive would have made things easier I’m determined to pass this year

 

[Al Fresco]

So I passed 14 months ago but I’ve only just got around to buying a car and I’m honestly back to bricking it every time I get in.

I can drive but I am finding seeing where I need to be in lanes so so hard 🥲 just don’t know if I’m ever going to feel confident to go out on my own at this rate. Wishing I hadn’t left it so long.

I’ve been driving for 34 years and I can still get anxious and go in the wrong lane when I don’t know where I am. As others have said, it does help to have a look at Google Streetmaps and literally look at the lanes at the junctions and plan your journey.

It’s very annoying when the painted markings on the lanes are either faded or a bloody lorry is covering it so having a look beforehand is really helpful. I have had a Garmin satellite for years and the lane assist is very good on motorways. All satnavs can be pretty bad at roundabouts though as they tend to count every exit, some of which can just be a lane to the local tip. If I do get myself into a tizz, I just think what’s the worst thing that can happen? I end up going in the wrong direction but the satnav will get me back on track, I’ll just be later than planned. There aren’t people still driving round lost after 24 hours

There’s a guy on YouTube covers things like this. As you can see, it happens to professionals too. My Fil is an ex police advanced driver, and he still does it.

 

[loobyscoobydoo]

Thanks everyone! I was in a right state after my lesson and let it all get to me. I'm feeling a lot better about it now and can just chalk it up to a bad day.

I'm going to take my time with things on Mondays lesson and remember to breathe hopefully that will help but thank you for your words of advice, I really appreciate it

 

[gossipgal21]

Oh glad I found this thread.

Ok so I am in my early 30s and can't drive. I did start learning at 17 just like most kids, failed my test a couple of times and totally lost confidence in myself and gave up.

Its never really hindered me much, public transport where I live is good and so its never been much of a problem.

Now I'm 31 with two kids and I have to walk EVERYWHERE. They allways needs taking to clubs and school and nursery etc and I cant rely on hubby to do it, and so I means I'm allways out walking to and from things. Its never really bothered me much until now, I want an easier way honestly.

So I'm thinking of biting the bullet and starting learning to drive again. It would be starting from scratch. The expense worries me money is tight would I even be able to afford to run a car? But most of all just my nervousness on the road worries me.

Can anyone ease me nervousness? Anyone else just not have any confidence in it?

I finally passed this year at the age of 36! After years of on and off learning and stopping. The two key things for me were starting to learn in an automatic (took a lot of stress off for me personally) and finding an instructor finally I really clicked with.
I didn’t enjoy learning to drive at all but with the most recent instructor I didn’t hate my lessons and he put me at ease a lot!

I’m probably not a brilliant driver now but I passed my test and am now able to get around and take my son to things so totally understand your need to do it.

I honestly thought I never ever would pass so please stick with it. Look for recommendations for a great instructor!

 

[GiftedNotFree]

I have my test on Wednesday - feeling ok, not 100% confident but I know how to drive so I think my nerves are coming from the embarrassment of failing...!

Honestly I’d say on the day almost 90% of it is mindset rather than actually being skilled enough to drive!

You know you can drive otherwise you wouldn’t be up for a test. So just keep your thoughts positive rather than thinking about fear of failing or being embarrassed.

To keep my nerves down on the day I sat my test I just repeated to myself “I’m here to get my driving licence” which meant I had a clear goal in my head and I passed first time and didn’t get worked up / stressed. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll pass!

 

[noseybirdxo]

I failed my test lmao and I’m so annoyed bc I slowed down before the crossroad but apparently it was too late that the examiner had to slam on his breaks (bit excessive in my opinion).
I’m slightly put off by the whole experience but at the same time I want my licence. It was sooo nerve wracking.
My instructor said not to book him until a week before my next test day as he knows I can drive (I’m also paying to be on my grandmas insurance) and doesn’t want me to waste my money.
I know it’s 10 days until I can next book a test, but how long would you guys wait?

I had a similar situation to you on my 2nd test - my instructor stopped my test midway through but shouldn’t of got involved (*I actually complained about this officially*) as I was coming to stop at a junction, I stopped a bit short of the line so I put my clutch on to edge myself forward to have a better view of the road. As I was stopping where I wanted to stop to wait for a clear path to go - I was physically braking like my foot was on the pedal, the examiner screamed at me and grabbed the wheel and stopped the car and I was like “what are you doing? i’m literally on the brake pedal and in control” and he didn’t answer and just directed me back. I was ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS and complained about this. It was in October 2020 so just before the November lockdown we had, I booked the next available slot as soon as I could which was January (my next test didn’t end up being until October 2021 because of cancellations due to COVID) so I would just book ASAP. I was like you, I was put off and especially cos of the enforced break I was very much like what is the point but then I remembered, I was a bloody good driver and I knew I could drive I just needed to pass the test. Trust in yourself

 

[Strawberry13]

Ok after my wee breakdown last month I took some time off from lessons. Rebooked my test this week and I’ve got my game face on x

 

[boobear191]

Posted this on the wrong thread but earlier today
I came off the worst driving lesson I’ve ever had, cried my eyes out (proper ugly crying, couldn’t speak) .. he was alright the first 3/4 lessons actually was quite calm & reasonable/understanding but the last 2 I’ve had (last one was mid December before he broke up for xmas, and had one today) he’s literally speaking to me like crap, sighing & making little remarks despite the fact I did mention I am VERY nervous & have extreme anxiety. I took 40mg propranolol for anxiety before my lesson to calm me & I actually felt good, despite not being on the road for about 4/5 weeks I genuinely thought I was doing well.

but apparently I’m crap & I’m doing absolutely everything wrong in my power, just one of 70 things he picked at me about was that I didn’t pull out infront of a massive lorry when I could of.. imagine if I’d stalled though? Like I get what he’s saying I could of but I didn’t want to - i felt safer to wait then go once the lorry had.
Long story short I feel so sh*t now, embarrassed & everything cos I hate crying infront of anyone (even my mum.) but today, I couldn’t help but to. I’m shy at the best of times & I don’t like to kind of ‘hit back’ at him or say something so I’m just like ‘okay’ ‘sorry’.. am I being stupid here?

I’m also over paying him, he states his lessons are £27 I give him £30 (20 note & 10 note) & he never gives me the change back. I duno if I’m being petty here. Sorry for jumping on here randomly but I have no pals, I’ve cried to my mum as I walked in with mascara all over my face & a bubbling mess. Just really needed to vent. It’s been hours since I’ve been back home from the lesson & im still on/off crying. He seemed quite shocked when I started crying I think it’s because I act as if I’ve got quite thick skin/I’m ok, but yeh.. today really sucked

 

[BettyCrockerr]

How much is everyone planning to spend on a first car? I don't know what to realistically budget - and insurance is going to be mad!

Honestly I’d say don’t spend more than £2K max.

get a cheap to run car that you can drive around in and really learn in after you pass and that it be won’t matter massively if you bump it or whatever. Then just get third party insurance. If the car is still in reasonable condition after a year or so then get rid of it and then look to get something better after that point.