Learning to drive #2

[Gflo93]

Thanks so much everyone . Drove to Tesco and bought one of those cooked roast chickens for lunch… yum. Just needed an excuse to get out! Was so nervous and my parking was deffo a little wonky but feel so relieved to have done it. Felt so weird not having anyone next to me (especially when I had to do a right round a big roundabout - my nemesis) but felt so nice to just get on with it in peace .

 

[Lalla]

I passed today at 11:11 I picked the luckiest time after two previous fails!

Congratulations! It will change your life, it really will. And don't worry if you feel nervous the first time you go out on your own, that's perfectly natural

 

[nightfeedz]

Eat a banana on the morning of your test

And I agree about confidence - also don't focus on driving perfectly, just focus on driving well (if that makes sense). They don't need to see that you're a perfect driver - because actually no one is! - just that you can deal with the unexpected, react to situations etc. I made a mistake on my test, the instructor asked me to follow the road to the left, and initially I was in the right lane (one way stretch!) but then realised, indicated and someone let me in, and the rest is history.

So if something goes wrong, don't panic, just keep going. Absolute worst case you fail, and that just means you take the test again and pass then. Good luck!

And also a well done to everyone who's passed recently. As a mature learner (44 when I passed, 50 now) I love seeing other people pass their tests at whatever age. I never thought I could pass mine, I'm very unco ordinated and have awful spatial awareness. So if I can pass, I'd say anyone can! But having passed, and now driven a fair bit, I realise that I'm probably in the upper half of drivers out there, there are loads of people on the roads far worse than me. Mostly who passed first time at 17!

I love hearing about people passing too! Especially later in life than the average. I just passed at 36. Until I started learning I was convinced everyone learned easily as a teenager.

The more people I spoke to, the more I heard great stories of people learning in their 40s and 50s and I love it.

I have also heard plenty about people who never learned because they feel they are too old! So I am going to continue being open about my struggles with driving, you never know who it will help.

I’m feeling pleased today because I’ve been driving my kids about the last few days and I feel like supermum. Still very nervous and have to make effort not to beat myself up over my mistakes. But really pleased at my progress and glad I trusted myself to take things at my own pace.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I haven’t cancelled it I’m just not going I honestly appreciate what yous are saying but I don’t feel I could drive safely to even get through 3 mins of the test with how I’m feeling right now

I would do the test and get the experience. If you’re driving dangerously, the examiner will stop the car and the test.

you’re not necessarily going to pass first time no matter how you feel. It all changes on the day.

 

[gossipgal21]

I’ve been driving about 18 months now and still get a bit nervous especially if I’m going somewhere I’ve never been before. Just take it bit by bit and you’ll soon hopefully love driving on your own. Just continue to drive as you would while learning / on your test - that is to say, the biggest learning curve for me was anticipating and driving in response to other (idiots) on the road!! So just keep at a sensible speed, give people space if you are unsure where they’re going or what they’re doing, don’t rush yourself - if you miss a gap at a roundabout for example don’t panic, the world doesn’t end, just wait for another. I talk to myself sometimes on the drive if I just need to feel a bit more sure about what I’m doing!

Enjoy driving

 

[HotButterfly]

Getting the right instructor makes a huge difference. I found mine (my third, the first two were 20 years earlier) after seeing my neighbour, who is a complete dingbat, pass her test with him. I thought that if he could get her to learn to drive, he could teach anyone, even me! We were the same age, from the same part of town, and so we had a lot in common. He would make rude comments about "women drivers" who can't reverse properly (knowing full well that I'd try harder just to prove him wrong lol) I would swear at him for making me drive up narrow hills with cars parked on both sides, the lessons were hard work sometimes, but having an instructor that I could just chat with, made it much easier for me. It took me a year with him, I was 46 when I passed my test and it was worth every penny, I'm so glad that I did it.

I passed the theory test first time, I had a DVD with the hazard perception videos, I'm sure it's all available online now. The ones that I used for practice (10 mins every night for a couple of months) were much harder than the ones in the actual test!

This could be me. After having a few lessons aged 47, I tried again aged 55 but this time I was determined to pass first time. Mentally determined so took lessons in an auto and this time my instructor was gold. Male - we got on like a house on fire and we had so much in common and I believe this is the most important part of learning to drive (for me anyway). As my test area was miles away I had one double lesson each weekend. I told him I wouldn't take my test until I was confident I could pass so I had about 7 months of lessons going round the test area until I knew it like the back of my hand. Come the test day I was informed they'd widened the test area to twice it's normal size. GULP. No turning back now. Inwardly fraught with nerves outwardly calm and silent (yeah right) I actually passed. To this day I owe it all to my instructor. Some are excellent at reading you, some are bloody useless. Mind you this was years ago when you could chop and change everything as you pleased.

PS: Gear changing and clutch control was like patting your head and rubbing your tummy upside down so to me using an automatic gearbox was like driving Noddy's car - stop and go - bloody marvellous.

 

[leon19]

Congratulations!!!! You must be on top of the world!!

Thank you! still doesn't feel real, it was amazing to get in my car this morning and do the 4 mile journey to work which I was normally cycling or getting the bus! Just goes to show you can get yourself so worked up about the test but it's not all that bad. I was concentrating on my driving so much I wouldn't of even known I had an examiner sat next to me apart from the odd bit of talking!

 

[Kim Mild]

I'm in need of advice because I'm really desperate at this point.

I passed my theory test in 2018 and started doing 2/4 hour lessons every week (with two different driving schools) until January 2020. I sat my test twice in manual in 2019 and failed both times. Due to COVID, I was not able to take any lessons between January 2020 and now. I took a one-off lesson in October 2020, but the instructor suggested I go for automatic instead as I have real issues with the gears.

Fast forward, I've been looking for an automatic driving instructor since the restrictions lifted in July 2021 and I was only able to find one this month. I wanted a one-off lessons to see what it would be like to drive an automatic. I attended the lesson and although I enjoyed driving in automatic, I'm really getting an off vibe from the instructor:
a) I can't understand a single thing he says - he's Dutch and has the worst accent I've ever heard in my entire life, which makes it difficult for me to understand instructions etc.
b) He said it was a "bad look" that I didn't study my theory before the lesson (again, I've passed my theory test, done my mandatory hours, this lessons was merely a test run to see if I like automatic driving)
c) this really pissed me off: when the lesson finished, he asked me how much I wanted to pay, so I said I'd pay for the lesson we just had per the pricing grid on his website and he said: "No, you need to pay for the upcoming lesson as well or buy a 12 hour package for E500". I told him this lesson was a test run to see how I feel about going automatic and then commit, but he said I needed to pay for any upcoming lesson at the same time as the lesson that just finished. I managed to talk myself out of paying for any upcoming lesson - I'm not going to give him cash and if I choose to cancel, then I can say goodbye to any refund. Previous driving schools operated their payments electronically, so much easier to trace, but cash- no.
d) He wants me to fill in a form on what has improved and not improved after each lesson and hand it over to him. While I appreciate the effort, I'm here to pass my test, no write a performance report on myself.

While he was a really good driving instructor and I learned more in those 2 hours with him than I did in 6 months with my previous instructor, I'm a bit weirded out. It's really difficult to find automatic instructors at a reasonable rate in my area (a lot don't cover my area though central) and I really want to get my license. I've already spent so much money, I can't just give up now. Then again, I don't want to go down the rabbit whole of being rinsed out of my money with no results in sight. I've no one to drive with, so lessons are my only option.

If anyone can provide some advice / suggestions, I'd really appreciate it!

Maybe trust your instinct. If you don’t like the instructor, you might not like being in the car with him for 2 hours for a lesson

Or if you feel taking lessons is urgent, book the smallest amount you can fora block booking while searching for another automatic instructor.

 

[Pinkfoxxie]

How did it go @Pinkfoxxie ?

Well I cried on and off all day, threw up 10 mins before, got off to a very shaky start, but then it was actually ok. My instructor was very nice and encouraging! Thank you so much for asking

 

[JLXRD]

Posted this on the wrong thread but earlier today
I came off the worst driving lesson I’ve ever had, cried my eyes out (proper ugly crying, couldn’t speak) .. he was alright the first 3/4 lessons actually was quite calm & reasonable/understanding but the last 2 I’ve had (last one was mid December before he broke up for xmas, and had one today) he’s literally speaking to me like crap, sighing & making little remarks despite the fact I did mention I am VERY nervous & have extreme anxiety. I took 40mg propranolol for anxiety before my lesson to calm me & I actually felt good, despite not being on the road for about 4/5 weeks I genuinely thought I was doing well.

but apparently I’m crap & I’m doing absolutely everything wrong in my power, just one of 70 things he picked at me about was that I didn’t pull out infront of a massive lorry when I could of.. imagine if I’d stalled though? Like I get what he’s saying I could of but I didn’t want to - i felt safer to wait then go once the lorry had.
Long story short I feel so sh*t now, embarrassed & everything cos I hate crying infront of anyone (even my mum.) but today, I couldn’t help but to. I’m shy at the best of times & I don’t like to kind of ‘hit back’ at him or say something so I’m just like ‘okay’ ‘sorry’.. am I being stupid here?

I’m also over paying him, he states his lessons are £27 I give him £30 (20 note & 10 note) & he never gives me the change back. I duno if I’m being petty here. Sorry for jumping on here randomly but I have no pals, I’ve cried to my mum as I walked in with mascara all over my face & a bubbling mess. Just really needed to vent. It’s been hours since I’ve been back home from the lesson & im still on/off crying. He seemed quite shocked when I started crying I think it’s because I act as if I’ve got quite thick skin/I’m ok, but yeh.. today really sucked

I’m sorry you had such a horrible couple of lessons

I would look for another instructor. I regularly cried on my driving lessons until I found my (fifth) instructor. I ended up going to a driving school who specialised in nervous drivers and never cried once in my final instructors car other than when I failed my first test (and earlier today when I passed.)

You are paying this person to teach you to drive, not to be spoken to rudely. If it’s not the right fit, I’d move on asap before it hurts your confidence.

I also think he should be giving you change. Over 5 lessons, that’s over an extra half an hour of driving you should have gotten for your money.

 

[Sharkfan]

Could you ask them to find you a different instructor?

There’s no explicit way to do it but I think I will message the company as I don’t think I can get through another lesson with him!

 

[JLXRD]

So I passed 14 months ago but I’ve only just got around to buying a car and I’m honestly back to bricking it every time I get in.

I can drive but I am finding seeing where I need to be in lanes so so hard 🥲 just don’t know if I’m ever going to feel confident to go out on my own at this rate. Wishing I hadn’t left it so long.

 

[Grejaha]

The examiners have loads of different routes to take you on. I was really lucky, mine took me through a quiet housing estate

Had it this morning, stalled and she failed me. It’s crazy how one tiny error like that leads to a whole fail lmao she said I was good other than that one thing

 

[Lalla]

Just popping back to update: I passed my test with 2 minors on Friday. The route was much quieter than the one I had last time, mostly wider roads and my manoeuvre was a forward bay park. It does not feel real! When the examiner told me I'd passed I got out of the car and ran round the back of it for reasons unknown, I was so bloody surprised, he had to call me to come back been out with husband in the passenger seat but haven't been out on my own yet, does anyone have any tips for overcoming the fear?

Congratulations! There is nothing like the feeling of actually passing
It feels very odd to be on your own in the car the first time, but that feeling will disappear very quickly after the first couple of trips. My advice would be to just pop to the shops or something, a small local journey where the parking isn't a nightmare at the other end, and you can buy something to reward yourself. I went to Lidl for my first ever solo drive (after having always walked there previously) and bought myself some flowers!

 

[under the ivy]

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Just had my final lesson before my test. It went really well, hope I haven’t jinxed myself 🥲

 

[cuttle90]

Congratulations to all you lovelies that passed. My instructor has taken to picking me up from work and letting me drive home now instead of my usual later night lesson. Honestly, I wish we had done this forever ago. Work is around 30 minutes away from where I live in a few towns away nearer the city so the roads are different - there are train and tram tracks, different roads we go the full long way so it takes the full hour to get back to home. Need to practice my maneuvers more but my instructor is really impressed with how I'm handling "real-life" driving as he calls it - in a place where you don't know where people are not as conscientious as they are in my home town (we have a test centre here and there are learner drivers everywhere.. for example on Thursday afternoon I was off work and in the time to get in my husbands car twice during the course of 2 hours we had two learner drivers practicing parallel parking on our car as we tried to leave the house ).

My test is in July - no lesson next week due to Easter then back on it the week after.

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

Amazing!!!! I think it’s totally natural to have had them fears and anxieties when you’ve been through what you have - but you should be incredibly proud of yourself as that is a huge mental block to overcome and the only way is up from here

Thanks so much for your kind words. I am very proud of what I have achieved and believe in myself a lot more! Excited to venture out more in my little car.

 

[under the ivy]

I passed my mock test this morning with 2 minors! Feel confident about my test now. There’s some right idiots on the roads in my area so I need to be super aware of them.

 

[Very traditional]

Just found this thread, I had my first driving test today and failed. It’s a little frustrating because I got no minors, but I made a really stupid mistake where I was driving down a straight road with a mini roundabout at the end, I’d never been down it before and I honestly thought that it was 2 lanes with oncoming traffic (ie a normal road) but it was actually a one way street so I needed to be in the right lane for the roundabout, whereas I positioned myself to the right of the left hand lane (if that makes sense). I was a silly mistake but I wasn’t too down because what can I do now, what’s done is done! I think I was also feeling stressed as it was the sat nav independent driving stage but turns out I was one of the people who had to do follow the signs.

I didn’t feel so bad, I know it’s my fault and the examiner was actually very nice at the end but my driving instructor has made me feel terrible. I had the silent treatment all the way home and he called me an idiot a lot and kept telling me how disappointed he was in me as he needs to have a good amount of passes for his instructor record. I just feel like it’s really knocked my confidence now and I feel like a total moron. Honestly just hoping I can pass at some point so I can move on

Just needed to vent, I didn’t tell my family I was taking it as couldn’t deal with the added pressure!

Just to echo everyone else - your instructor is bang out of order, his pass rate is not your problem! Glad you're not letting it get you down, you're clearly a decent driver with no minors who made a mistake which is really easily done!

Good luck for your next go, you'll smash it!

 

[Brianbadonde]

What is the banana thing? All the test advice websites say “eat something like a banana” - is it just something manageable to settle your blood sugars or are bananas magical?

Bananas are filled with potassium, a mineral that can help reduce tension. Bananas are also great in pacifying and soothing the mind as they are rich in tryptophan, an amino acid which boosts the formation of serotonin (the feel-good hormone) So sort of magical I guess