Learning to drive #2

[elloelloello]

Congratulations
Sorry I’m just abit jealous cause I failed last week Friday

Keep at it and don’t give up!!! Best of luck for next time, you can do it

 

[under the ivy]

I prefer motorway driving to any other driving. I live in big Northern city and the roads are an utter nightmare. Don’t feel as stressed on a motorway!

 

[nightfeedz]

Holy moly driving in heavy rain is mildly terrifying! I just picked my daughter up in a downpour and feel like I’ve completed a dangerous mission.

I learnt to drive over several years but pretty much always in the summer months. So like minimal lights/demisting/window wipers needed! I’m figuring it out as I go now

 

[TheGlossy]

I had another lesson with new my automatic driving instructor and I asked him to give me an estimate of how many hours of driving I still need (given I already did 100+ in manual) and he told me "about 20, but maybe more" and asked me not to drive in between lessons until I "get the hang of it". I've never had an instructor ask me not to drive in between lessons. His pass rate is supposedly 100%.

While I've learned a lot with the two lessons, 20 hours or more seems a bit much to me, especially given I already have driving experience albeit in manual. It shouldn't be this complicated to switch from manual to automatic. He's treating this as if I'm a brand new driver even though he acknowledged that I clearly know how to drive.

I'm on the verge of giving up because I'm absolutely fed up with this BS. I passed my theory test in 2018 and while I didn't get to drive between January 2020 and now, it shouldn't be this hard to pass your driving test. I'm almost 32 and I still don't have this license, meanwhile some 18 year old airheads pass the test with flying colors. I'm so fed up, I just want to be an adult like any other and be free to drive places instead of being restricted to areas that are linked to some kind of public transport. I was on the verge of tears during the lesson because I'm getting really annoyed.

 

[xx3221]

I prefer motorway driving to any other driving. I live in big Northern city and the roads are an utter nightmare. Don’t feel as stressed on a motorway!

Agreed. The motorway was made out to be some sort of huge deal, all scary and pay crazy amounts of attention or you'll crash. My first ever motorway trip was with my family which was a mistake because they stressed me out so much.
I started commuting to University for a month or so which was a 50min drive there, 50min drive back and it did wonders for my confidence on the motorway

 

[under the ivy]

Argghh!!

Any tips on how to recover from a bad lesson? Aside from the obvious of just get behind the wheel again

I set off from work today rather than home and got flustered doing that as it's city centre and from there it was just silly mistake after silly mistake with me getting more and more flustered over time to the point where I was basically holding back tears for the latter half of my lesson. I'm normally good at keeping my cool when I make small errors but I just couldn't today. I'm trying hard to see positives in what I did but I just feel so annoyed at myself. I'm not giving up but just wondering how other people recovered from a bad lesson and got their confidence back before the next?

I was meant to go out practicing at the weekend in my boyfriends car but I've come home in such a state I think he's going to suggest we don't practice at the weekend.

I think the best thing to do is have a cry/moan about it and take it all as experience! Learning to drive isn’t linear, so don’t beat yourself up! I think you should practice with your BF at the weekend, even if it’s just parking or driving around the car park. Learning to drive is a HUGE skill to learn x

 

[jawidjanqndn]

I passed early Jan! X

 

[noseybirdxo]

I failed guys I’m soo sad I was so nervous!
I feel like just giving up now honestly

i’ve just passed on my 3rd try, i’ve not really been nervous for any of them as i knew i could drive otherwise I wouldn’t be doing the test. the best advice I can give you is just think of it as another driving lesson but with a different instructor, this really helped me, breath - you can drive, that’s why you’re doing the test. my brother in law gave me a great piece of advice - talk through what you’re doing whether that’s out loud or in your head and show your intentions for what you’re doing, i used that sometimes like “mirror, signal, move” or “ok i’m going to check my mirror now cos i’m breaking/changing my speed”, maybe try incorporating that into what you’re doing.

 

[Jadeyell]

New hear guys
Last year I was all for learning to drive was not scared or nervous .. booked a male teacher I did 2 hour lessons when I finished the lesson said to myself never again am I gunna try to learn it’s was awful everything was far to overwhelming I did everything wrong.
I desperate to try again but all theses thoughts running through my mind Even now When I’m in the car with family I sit and think how am I gunna be able to remember all this I’m sooo thick it’s goes in one ear and out the other. I have no self belief it’s getting me really down I should pushing myself for more in life I want to do it for my children they miss out on so much (no transport)I’m riddled with mum Guilt … anyone else been like this please comment I would love to kick start myself again

 

[TheGlossy]

Wait - what? You are sitting in the car doing theory/writing notes during the lesson time that YOU are paying for?


No. No no no no no. No. That is a complete piss take. That’s not what the practical lessons are for, that’s not what he is being paid to do. The forward planning stuff is what you will naturally pick up as you gain more practical experience behind the wheel and he should be nurturing that DURING your lessons - he should be pointing out where you should be looking/what you should be aware off as you are driving until he is confident that you are doing this for yourself. Do you communicate with him verbally during the lessons?

As for this “lifecycle” nonsense - he’s chatting shit. You “learn” this stuff as you do your lessons - Christ almighty, leaning how to turn the ignition on?! Is this guy for real?!!

I agree, this poster needs to run quick and find a new instructor, this guy sounds like the pits.

Exactly. I agree completely with what you both said.

Yep. He asked me to write down some notes before the lesson to "memorialize" what I need to do. Then, at the end of the lesson, I need to write down "what has improved, what needs to be improved and future goals". It didn't sit well with me at all. That's not the purpose of these lessons. The no driving between lessons is a joke as well - a way for him to delay any progress and make me 100% reliant on him.

I do communicate verbally during lessons a lot because I'm a vocal person by nature, but a) he's not always receptive and b) his communication isn't great. For instance, yesterday, he asked me to park in some residential area to show me how to hold the steering wheel. I didn't think much of it and thought he just wanted to show me with the car on pause. Then, out of the blue he started asking me to turn right, get closer to the curb, then go reverse and turn again. Halfway through, I realized he wanted me to do a U-turn. Why on earth didn't he just communicate he wanted me to do a U-turn? Simple as that. He didn't exactly verbalize what he wanted me to do, so I was utterly confused as to what we were doing. If he had just said "we're going to do a U-turn", then I obviously would have known what to do. This might be a minor instance, but in that particular moment I realized his communication style isn't for me.

In the 4 hours I've dealt with him, I've also noticed he has a tendency to dodge remarks / questions.

My past instructors would always ask me to follow the same route as the one used for the actual test. I know both routes used by the test centres linked to my area. Yet, this guy makes it a point to take me to some random areas that are nowhere on the test route. Not a big deal in itself, but since I want to prepare for the test, it might be good to use the official test route.

I'm 100% done with him. Yesterday was my second lesson with him as I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in case the first lesson was just me getting acclimated to his technique and the automatic car. However, I kept thinking about it today and it's no go. I'm not going to waste my money on him. A lot of red flags indeed.

 

[givemethegossx]

test is booked for the 18th of June, think i'm going to swap it though because i still haven't passed a mock test! just wish driving came easily to me but i just get myself so stressed and end up making mistakes

 

[KitcRed]

Honestly I’d say on the day almost 90% of it is mindset rather than actually being skilled enough to drive!

You know you can drive otherwise you wouldn’t be up for a test. So just keep your thoughts positive rather than thinking about fear of failing or being embarrassed.

To keep my nerves down on the day I sat my test I just repeated to myself “I’m here to get my driving licence” which meant I had a clear goal in my head and I passed first time and didn’t get worked up / stressed. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll pass!

Thank you so much! I feel much more at ease reading this back tonight. Just need to remember it's not the end of the world if I fail... but I had a job rejection last week so I almost feel a need to prove to myself I can achieve something, anything

 

[noseybirdxo]

I’m glad this thread popped back up today. I basically went back through and read it all a few weeks ago while in the midst of angst over my lessons haha.
I am 36 and I have had so many on off attempts at learning to drive it’s embarrassing. Ultimately stopped each time due to consuming anxiety and stress over it.
took another batch of lessons last year while pregnant and actually did my first test - failed but was amazed at the boost to my confidence ironically enough. Compared to lessons I found the test pretty relaxed and I didn’t drive badly just made a stupid error and went too fast in a housing estate (20mph limit).

Took a break while I had the baby and then bit the bullet and booked more lessons in March this year. Finally got the instructor I wish I’d had years ago who has taught me brilliantly and kept me so calm.

My test is tomorrow!!! I feel as ready as I possibly can be but starting to think oh no I hope I haven’t forgotten how to drive….I really hope it’s a pass as it will change my life and let me do so much more with the baby. But let’s see. Sorry this was long haha.

Wishing you all the luck in the world

 

[Strawberry13]

My test is next week and I’m genuinely having sweats thinking about it - my two lessons this week I’m making mistakes I never make because I’m panicking about it

 

[August]

Ah thanks. You’ve confirmed my worries. I thought, even if I am really shit, shouldn’t I have at least tried some by now. Guess I’ll have to change instructor. I really didn’t want to.

I have the worst luck. This is my 3rd instructor. The other 2 were back in 2017. The first was a pervert, and the second one used to shout at me all the time. Honestly makes me wanna quit.

Even when I change instructor it’s gonna take me about another 40 lessons cuz I’ve learned practically fuck all in the 20 I’ve done already.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Go figure. He said I need to re-learn how to perform the entire driving lifecycle and yet during the first lesson, he said I clearly know how to drive. He contradicts himself a lot. He showed me how to do a U-turn yesterday when I know how to do them and did it perfectly in my last test. I bluntly told him I feel as though I'm going backwards if I have to re-learn the lifecycle from scratch as if I were a brand new driver. Him telling me I can't drive in between lessons because I have to learn to operate a car is a joke. Surely, after more than 100 hours, I know how to operate a car.

He had the audacity to tell me: "I saw your last results and I don't think you knew what the test was about". At that point, I was close to 90 hours of driving and it was my second test, so I surely knew what the test was about. We had an issue with the car I rented from my then instructor which was not road-worthy and the tester told me I shouldn't have sat the test in the first place because of that, but he still managed to mark me negatively (primarily around gearing and progression) despite that.

There's a huge backlog with testing at the moment, so no one can book a test. It's straight to waiting list!



Exactly, a lot of them are money grabbers. It doesn't matter if they are private or affiliated with a school. I find the private ones to be as greedy as the school-affiliated ones because they probably don't have as many students.

I already sat the test twice in manual, failed both times. I've accumulated roughly 100+ hours of driving in manual and decided to switch to automatic instead because it's been a couple of years since I passed my theory (4 exactly). I haven't driven since January 2020 due to COVID, so I thought I'd go automatic now that lessons are available again in a bid to get my license as soon as possible and also to remove gearing from the process since it's my big problem.



To be honest, I'm not liking automatic driving at all. I much prefer manual because it makes far more sense in my head in the sense that your speed is directly adjusted through the gears and you have clear control, whereas in automatic, the brake / gas manoeuvre to adjust the speed is really confusing because you have no real visibility/control over what you're doing and the gas pedal is very sensitive. I really don't like automatic driving and find it more annoying than anything else, but it's the easy route.

The automatic should feel easier to control. All you are doing is using the gas to increase decrease your speed and the brake to bring the speed down quicker when needed. I think you are over thinking it, just allow it to be a natural reaction to what’s going on in front of you. When driving a manual, you shouldn’t be reliant on the clutch/manual gears to control the car anyway. You should be able to control the speed of the car.


I have no idea what your instructor is talking about regarding the “lifecycle” of driving?! What’s he referring to?


Your instructor sounds like he’s making this far more complicated and convoluted than it is. It’s driving a car - not a mission to repair the Hubble telescope!!!

 

[under the ivy]

I’ve learnt so much since passing my test in November and having my own car. I’m a very confident driver now. I had no choice but to drive 12 miles home from the car dealership with my car a few days after I passed my test. You learn to drive for that reason… to drive!

 

[Lalla]

I've been having lessons since November. It's going okay but still making lots of silly mistakes.

Biggest problem is I get insanely nervous before each lesson. Feel so nervous. Can't imagine what I'm going to be like when it comes to taking a test.

Honestly you will probably feel nervous. Even once I stopped feeling nervy in lessons the test was a different story. But it's only a test. Worst case you might fail, then you just take it again and sooner or later you will pass. It took me 27 years (albeit I gave up for 25 of those!) and 6 tests but I got there in the end, and you will too.

For lessons what helped me was the right instructor, and having a 2 hour lesson each week. Also I had my own car to practice in between lessons which helped to normalize driving and make me feel less anxious.

On the day of the test definitely a banana, that worked for me!

 

[Pinkfoxxie]

Ahhh this is fab news!! Are you going to book in for your practical?

I think so, it such a long wait so might as well, I’ll speak to my instructor later and see what he thinks. I’ve been starting to really enjoy driving and feel ever so slightly more confident!

 

[Lilu22]

Congratulations!!! It must be so surreal- you've done it and now you're set for life! Well done!!!

Thank you!! Driving didn’t come naturally to me and it had taken a long time for me to get to this stage. Multiple times I wanted to give up but when I thought about how much money I’d already spent, I knew I had to continue. I’m just thankful I had an instructor who was patient enough and changed his way of teaching so I’d understand more clearly