Learning to drive #2

[noseybirdxo]

I failed my test lmao and I’m so annoyed bc I slowed down before the crossroad but apparently it was too late that the examiner had to slam on his breaks (bit excessive in my opinion).
I’m slightly put off by the whole experience but at the same time I want my licence. It was sooo nerve wracking.
My instructor said not to book him until a week before my next test day as he knows I can drive (I’m also paying to be on my grandmas insurance) and doesn’t want me to waste my money.
I know it’s 10 days until I can next book a test, but how long would you guys wait?

I had a similar situation to you on my 2nd test - my instructor stopped my test midway through but shouldn’t of got involved (*I actually complained about this officially*) as I was coming to stop at a junction, I stopped a bit short of the line so I put my clutch on to edge myself forward to have a better view of the road. As I was stopping where I wanted to stop to wait for a clear path to go - I was physically braking like my foot was on the pedal, the examiner screamed at me and grabbed the wheel and stopped the car and I was like “what are you doing? i’m literally on the brake pedal and in control” and he didn’t answer and just directed me back. I was ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS and complained about this. It was in October 2020 so just before the November lockdown we had, I booked the next available slot as soon as I could which was January (my next test didn’t end up being until October 2021 because of cancellations due to COVID) so I would just book ASAP. I was like you, I was put off and especially cos of the enforced break I was very much like what is the point but then I remembered, I was a bloody good driver and I knew I could drive I just needed to pass the test. Trust in yourself

 

[tomato123]

I failed my test lmao and I’m so annoyed bc I slowed down before the crossroad but apparently it was too late that the examiner had to slam on his breaks (bit excessive in my opinion).
I’m slightly put off by the whole experience but at the same time I want my licence. It was sooo nerve wracking.
My instructor said not to book him until a week before my next test day as he knows I can drive (I’m also paying to be on my grandmas insurance) and doesn’t want me to waste my money.
I know it’s 10 days until I can next book a test, but how long would you guys wait?

I would book as soon as possible as well. Good luck and I hope it goes well!

 

[leon19]

Does having private practise make much difference? I have my test booked in March which my instructor says I should be ready for so I'm on the final stretch now. For the past month I've been going out in the car with my boyfriend and it's just draining and hes so horrible when i make errors. I've been in tears this afternoon, that Its so bad I decided I can't go out in a car with him again. He is actually normally a nice calm guy and we have a normal relationship but get in a car with him and it's just a totally different person. Whenever I make a mistake the way he screams at me you'd think id just run someone over. Today I moved into a lane too early and he went crazy saying I was gonna cause an accident. Last week he shouted me to stop and made me swap infront of loads of traffic. Sorry for the rant, just feel gutted that I have a car sat outside and no one else to go out with me. Just makes me so angry the way drivers get angry with learners like they wernt in that position once

 

[noseybirdxo]

Does having private practise make much difference? I have my test booked in March which my instructor says I should be ready for so I'm on the final stretch now. For the past month I've been going out in the car with my boyfriend and it's just draining and hes so horrible when i make errors. I've been in tears this afternoon, that Its so bad I decided I can't go out in a car with him again. He is actually normally a nice calm guy and we have a normal relationship but get in a car with him and it's just a totally different person. Whenever I make a mistake the way he screams at me you'd think id just run someone over. Today I moved into a lane too early and he went crazy saying I was gonna cause an accident. Last week he shouted me to stop and made me swap infront of loads of traffic. Sorry for the rant, just feel gutted that I have a car sat outside and no one else to go out with me. Just makes me so angry the way drivers get angry with learners like they wernt in that position once

I had no extra practice other than my lessons. I think it’s very individual as to whether you think you need it or not, personally I didn’t. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel? If it’s not benefitting you and causing you stress then don’t do it - your lessons should be more than enough

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Does having private practise make much difference? I have my test booked in March which my instructor says I should be ready for so I'm on the final stretch now. For the past month I've been going out in the car with my boyfriend and it's just draining and hes so horrible when i make errors. I've been in tears this afternoon, that Its so bad I decided I can't go out in a car with him again. He is actually normally a nice calm guy and we have a normal relationship but get in a car with him and it's just a totally different person. Whenever I make a mistake the way he screams at me you'd think id just run someone over. Today I moved into a lane too early and he went crazy saying I was gonna cause an accident. Last week he shouted me to stop and made me swap infront of loads of traffic. Sorry for the rant, just feel gutted that I have a car sat outside and no one else to go out with me. Just makes me so angry the way drivers get angry with learners like they wernt in that position once

Stop going out in the car to practice with your boyfriend. It’s not going to do you any good with regards to your driving and it’s the kind of thing that can cause rifts between the two of you in your relationship!!!!!
As a driver, it is difficult to be a passenger in a car with a non driver - particularly when you’re in a regular car with no dual controls - he will be naturally seeing and reacting in his head to things oj the road and as a learner you won’t be perhaps picking up on the same things - it is frustrating.
I never had any additional practice outside of my lessons - passed on my second attempt.
Concentrate on your lessons and your upcoming test

 

[codeine]

Does having private practise make much difference? I have my test booked in March which my instructor says I should be ready for so I'm on the final stretch now. For the past month I've been going out in the car with my boyfriend and it's just draining and hes so horrible when i make errors. I've been in tears this afternoon, that Its so bad I decided I can't go out in a car with him again. He is actually normally a nice calm guy and we have a normal relationship but get in a car with him and it's just a totally different person. Whenever I make a mistake the way he screams at me you'd think id just run someone over. Today I moved into a lane too early and he went crazy saying I was gonna cause an accident. Last week he shouted me to stop and made me swap infront of loads of traffic. Sorry for the rant, just feel gutted that I have a car sat outside and no one else to go out with me. Just makes me so angry the way drivers get angry with learners like they wernt in that position once

I think you need to find yourself a new boyfriend too. That sort of behaviour is NEVER limited to one area. Run love, run.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I think you need to find yourself a new boyfriend too. That sort of behaviour is NEVER limited to one area. Run love, run.

Hardly! As a driver, have you ever taken a non driver out for practise?! It’s one of the most frustrating/stressful things ever!!!! It will test any relationship!!!!!!!! I lost my mind at my brother when I took him out - once was enough, never again!!!!!!!!!!

 

[leon19]

We have spoken about it and I've asked if he could be abit calmer but he says he just can't help it and that he doesn't like doing it but has carried on going out in the car to try and help me. I do understand where he's coming from. Its not nice to see that side of someone when he isn't normally a shouter. But yeah definately never again because it's clearly not benefiting either of us and maybe not even when I'm newly passed for abit because I'm still going to make mistakes then. My driving instructor just goes on so much about private practise and I don't know if it's laziness on his part or he genuinely thinks it helps. Every week he talks about it, what have I been doing, im not doing enough, I need to drive to this this and this place and it's just like chill out. Thank you for advice and responses, speaking to people it sounds like it's a common thing and it's just too much for some people

 

[Brianbadonde]

I took my daughter out in her car while she was learning and to be honest it frightened me as a driver even though she wasn’t dangerous or anything. Some people just aren’t meant to be in cars with learners. She got on far better with her neutral instructor. I just went with her on simple journeys (to and from college) and told her instructor in no uncertain terms I wasn’t doing her job for her as I wasn’t the best person and it wasn’t helping my daughter, maybe a chat with your instructor is the way to go.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

We have spoken about it and I've asked if he could be abit calmer but he says he just can't help it and that he doesn't like doing it but has carried on going out in the car to try and help me. I do understand where he's coming from. Its not nice to see that side of someone when he isn't normally a shouter. But yeah definately never again because it's clearly not benefiting either of us and maybe not even when I'm newly passed for abit because I'm still going to make mistakes then. My driving instructor just goes on so much about private practise and I don't know if it's laziness on his part or he genuinely thinks it helps. Every week he talks about it, what have I been doing, im not doing enough, I need to drive to this this and this place and it's just like chill out. Thank you for advice and responses, speaking to people it sounds like it's a common thing and it's just too much for some people

A decent driving instructor would NEVER suggest you go out practicing with someone else like this, far less be pilling on the pressure to do so. Your instructor sounds like an hole to be completely Frank.

 

[Very traditional]

A decent driving instructor would NEVER suggest you go out practicing with someone else like this, far less be pilling on the pressure to do so. Your instructor sounds like an hole to be completely Frank.

Totally agree! Before I passed (5 years ago) my instructor said going out in the car with someone else basically undoes a lot of what you learn in your lessons, instructors teach you in a certain way, your partner won't know what you've learned or how you've learned it and often have bad driving habits

I also wouldn't be upset with your boyfriend for his reaction, he's done his best to help, he isn't an instructor and very likely panicked hence him shouting, I can't think of something I'd enjoy doing less than trying to teach my other half to drive.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

We have spoken about it and I've asked if he could be abit calmer but he says he just can't help it and that he doesn't like doing it but has carried on going out in the car to try and help me. I do understand where he's coming from. Its not nice to see that side of someone when he isn't normally a shouter. But yeah definately never again because it's clearly not benefiting either of us and maybe not even when I'm newly passed for abit because I'm still going to make mistakes then. My driving instructor just goes on so much about private practise and I don't know if it's laziness on his part or he genuinely thinks it helps. Every week he talks about it, what have I been doing, im not doing enough, I need to drive to this this and this place and it's just like chill out. Thank you for advice and responses, speaking to people it sounds like it's a common thing and it's just too much for some people

I didn’t practice with anyone when I had my lessons and I passed 2nd time.

I didn’t practice with anyone partly because no one had a car suitable, partly because I wouldn’t feel safe and also because my partner said he was taught things wrong by family members.

I can kind of understand why your boyfriend ended up shouting, I sometimes scream internally when I’m in the car with an experienced driver when they do things that I wouldn’t! I wouldn’t like to see how I’d react to being with a learner! I’d be terrified!

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

I am not a learner but I am new to the roads. I passed my driving test a week before the first lockdown in March 2020. Plans of buying a car were delayed because of the pandemic, I did my Pass Plus end of September 2021 and this week I just bought my first car - a Fiat 500. Haven’t driven properly since September.

My anxiety has always held me back and learning to drive took me a long time, now I am really scared to go out and drive on my own. I keep thinking of the worst. Anyone have any useful tips?

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I am not a learner but I am new to the roads. I passed my driving test a week before the first lockdown in March 2020. Plans of buying a car were delayed because of the pandemic, I did my Pass Plus end of September 2021 and this week I just bought my first car - a Fiat 500. Haven’t driven properly since September.

My anxiety has always held me back and learning to drive took me a long time, now I am really scared to go out and drive on my own. I keep thinking of the worst. Anyone have any useful tips?

No tips as such, other than if you can have someone with you on your first few drives, then that might help.

i had my partner with me on my first few drives until I got the confidence to drive around alone. I struggled a lot at first (it took me a long time to learn to drive because of my anxiety), but it did just click eventually after a few drives alone and now I feel fine. It takes time, but you’ll get there. You only learn to drive properly once you pass your test!

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

No tips as such, other than if you can have someone with you on your first few drives, then that might help.

i had my partner with me on my first few drives until I got the confidence to drive around alone. I struggled a lot at first (it took me a long time to learn to drive because of my anxiety), but it did just click eventually after a few drives alone and now I feel fine. It takes time, but you’ll get there. You only learn to drive properly once you pass your test!

Thank you for responding. That’s a good idea, I’ll do a few small trips around my local area with my partner in the passenger seat before attempting solo drives. That’s very true about learning to drive properly once passing.

I have try and not get so worked up about it. Always easier said than done.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I am not a learner but I am new to the roads. I passed my driving test a week before the first lockdown in March 2020. Plans of buying a car were delayed because of the pandemic, I did my Pass Plus end of September 2021 and this week I just bought my first car - a Fiat 500. Haven’t driven properly since September.

My anxiety has always held me back and learning to drive took me a long time, now I am really scared to go out and drive on my own. I keep thinking of the worst. Anyone have any useful tips?

Id actually suggest going out in the car on your own - not with anyone else. If you go with someone else you are still somewhat reliant on them. Plus it can be stressful having someone else in the car and it can add pressure on.

just start off easy - go for a quick drive around your local area - go in a circle from point A to B. Done. Then next time, go a bit further. Then further still. Start off with easy roads then go to where there are roundabouts/dual carriageway etc

Just go a bit at a time.

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

Id actually suggest going out in the car on your own - not with anyone else. If you go with someone else you are still somewhat reliant on them. Plus it can be stressful having someone else in the car and it can add pressure on.

just start off easy - go for a quick drive around your local area - go in a circle from point A to B. Done. Then next time, go a bit further. Then further still. Start off with easy roads then go to where there are roundabouts/dual carriageway etc

Just go a bit at a time.

Thanks for your response. That’s an interesting point actually, that you do become reliant on having someone else - kind of like a security blanket. I guess my main worry is exactly that - as a learner you have your instructor next to you and they have control over the pedals if you go wrong. Once you pass you are on your own.

I might give it a try driving round the roads around my house which are relatively easy.

 

[noseybirdxo]

I am not a learner but I am new to the roads. I passed my driving test a week before the first lockdown in March 2020. Plans of buying a car were delayed because of the pandemic, I did my Pass Plus end of September 2021 and this week I just bought my first car - a Fiat 500. Haven’t driven properly since September.

My anxiety has always held me back and learning to drive took me a long time, now I am really scared to go out and drive on my own. I keep thinking of the worst. Anyone have any useful tips?

If you have anyone that you can go out with that you trust and will be calming influence, then if that is something you’d prefer for comfort then that’s one thing. Are there any quieter roads that you can go round by your home? Or could you drive some of the routes that you did on your lessons so that you’re driving where you’re familiar with? Or get pass plates that might help with other drivers knowing you’re new.
They are the things I’d do and have done since passing. My boyfriend always said when he passed and got his car, he just had to get on with it cos he had to drive the car home from the car place! I drive his car so I guess just did the same!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

If you have anyone that you can go out with that you trust and will be calming influence, then if that is something you’d prefer for comfort then that’s one thing. Are there any quieter roads that you can go round by your home? Or could you drive some of the routes that you did on your lessons so that you’re driving where you’re familiar with? Or get pass plates that might help with other drivers knowing you’re new.
They are the things I’d do. My boyfriend always said when he passed and got his car, he just had to get on with it cos he had to drive the car home from the car place!

I honestly think you just have to sort of get in the car and just get on with it. You only really start learning how to drive and really use the car after you’ve passed your test and you are out driving on your own anyway, and it’s the kind of thing you have to just do, to get it done - if that makes sense?!

 

[noseybirdxo]

I honestly think you just have to sort of get in the car and just get on with it. You only really start learning how to drive and really use the car after you’ve passed your test and you are out driving on your own anyway, and it’s the kind of thing you have to just do, to get it done - if that makes sense?!

Yeah absolutely! I agree plus you also I think start learning again even after passing and with my boyfriends car for example, it felt completely different to the cars I’d learnt in with the clutch for example and the revs so in a way I had to just persevere and get used to it!