Learning to drive #2

[Charlene78]

I'm so glad I found this thread

I'd like to share my experience so far and would love your feedback

I've always avoided learning to drive because I was too scared of it. When I was 16, my mother wanted to teach me to drive and I refused, pretending I wasn't interested, but I was just scared. Here in France it's normal for everyone to have their licence, it's actually weird if you don't have one (even if you don't drive a car). It was starting to be a problem for my job searching (I was let go of my job because of covid). Important note : I am a very anxious person

So, at 26, I decided to force myself and started with the theory (after a year thinking about it because I was too scared lol) : here you need to pass a written test with questions and situations (with pictures and videos) and you can only do 5 mistakes max to pass (out of 40 questions). I missed the first exam with 6 mistakes, went back the next day and passed with 5 mistakes, fiou.

Then I found a driving school. Before going in for my first hour, I had to stop in front of the building and cry because of all the built up stress. The teacher spent 30 minutes explaining me things that I barely understood because of how stressed out I was, then when it was time for me to "drive" (you only get the wheel at first), I got teary eyes while trying to explain to the teacher that I was terribly scared of driving.

I ended up with 40 hours of lessons between May and October (minimum required here is 20 hours). It wasn't easy, but I got more comfortable as time went on, though I was still very scared and anxious. After those 40 hours I went for "accompanied driving" (I don't know how to translate, I was driving with my husband in the car). Problem is I was terrified of driving with no one having the pedals in case I'd fuck up, so we ended up not driving for like 3 months... and then I was too scared to drive again. We were supposed to drive everyday, by the way.

Since around April, I've been trying to force myself to drive to the grocery store and such once or twice per week but everytime I have to drive I get extremely scared beforehand. I've been with that "accompanied driving" since November and I have barely driven the car, to be honest.
We were supposed to drive on the fast lane, but didn't.
We were supposed to train parking, but we didn't.
We were supposed to drive super often to make me confortable, we didn't.
We were supposed to go to the exam's course, but we didn't (there's like an area in the city where the exam happens but it's not an actual set path).

I try to find excuses not to drive because I get scared (I can spend 3 weeks without driving and of course then the stress is worse...). I get this overwhelming stress before driving, it's actually worse BEFORE driving than it is when I am driving. I don't faint or have panic attacks or cry, it's only inside stress building up.

My teacher tried to contact me twice since April and I had to tell her I wasn't ready yet...
In the end, I don't feel any more confident than I did when I left the school in November. I think I actually feel worse.

I forced myself and got a set date for the exam, it's at the end of September, and I booked a couple driving lessons (fake exams) with my teacher for September. It's in a week and I'm freaking out. I know she's gonna be disappointed in my level and I'm scared to drive with her again.

I know that I'm not ready. I feel like I've forgotten some of the theory, I don't know what to do in some situations, I still get "dumb" when something stressful happens (an example from just a few days ago : I was driving and there was a stopped bus and I didn't know if I was supposed to overtake it and I stayed behind the bus, and 30sc after that happened, my husband told me three times that we were gonna go left and I was hearing "right" in my head and went right....).

I know why I'm scared to drive : I have very low self confidence and I'm scared I'm going to fuck up and have an accident or do something wrong. That's also why I'm super not confident for the exam, I feel like I'm definitely going to mess up. I also know how much responsibility driving is and I usually avoid responsibility in my day to day life because I get too stressed out, again, all coming from my lack of confidence.

I think I'm gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow and ask if they have anything for stress, even if it's placebo shit, I don't care anymore. I feel like I need something to help me a little because this is too stressful.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk

 

[Solemnia]

To anyone learning to drive there’s a channel on YouTube called DGN driving .. they have videos of people sitting mock tests and point out all there mistakes and explain the different things to do for the test. I found them very helpful good luck to anyone learning, I only passed myself a few weeks ago after struggling for a very long time and it’s such a great feeling!

 

[Lalla]

Honestly try not to think about the number of lessons/ time it takes to pass, and just keep focussing on passing. I must have spent thousands on lessons (honestly I can't even think about it, I had a years worth as a teenager and 3 tests, I then did a few months of auto lessons in my 30s which were a total waste of time and money, and then another 4 months of lessons in my 40s and 3 more tests, the last of which I passed) and it's all worth it now because I can drive.

And frankly if I can pass, anyone can! The cost is only a waste if you don't persevere.

I'd definitely advocate starting as soon as you can, I was 44 when I finally passed and my only regret is I didn't do it sooner, my life was bloody hard over the years not driving and having to drag 2 kids round everywhere on public transport. The convenience of driving/having a car shouldn't be underestimated!

 

[under the ivy]

It’s such a good feeling when you pass! I still look out of the window and can’t believe I’ve got my own car parked outside nearly 4 months later changes your life. Congrats @loobyscoobydoo

 

[Thank(space)you]

Thank you! I’m still waiting on an email to say he messed up and I didn’t actually pass 🫠

I passed my test, then received an email I'd failed. They sent me the wrong results and I had actually passed. Unlikely to happen to you but if it does, please check it

 

[Lollypad]

Go figure. He said I need to re-learn how to perform the entire driving lifecycle and yet during the first lesson, he said I clearly know how to drive. He contradicts himself a lot. He showed me how to do a U-turn yesterday when I know how to do them and did it perfectly in my last test. I bluntly told him I feel as though I'm going backwards if I have to re-learn the lifecycle from scratch as if I were a brand new driver. Him telling me I can't drive in between lessons because I have to learn to operate a car is a joke. Surely, after more than 100 hours, I know how to operate a car.

He had the audacity to tell me: "I saw your last results and I don't think you knew what the test was about". At that point, I was close to 90 hours of driving and it was my second test, so I surely knew what the test was about. We had an issue with the car I rented from my then instructor which was not road-worthy and the tester told me I shouldn't have sat the test in the first place because of that, but he still managed to mark me negatively (primarily around gearing and progression) despite that.

There's a huge backlog with testing at the moment, so no one can book a test. It's straight to waiting list!



Exactly, a lot of them are money grabbers. It doesn't matter if they are private or affiliated with a school. I find the private ones to be as greedy as the school-affiliated ones because they probably don't have as many students.

I already sat the test twice in manual, failed both times. I've accumulated roughly 100+ hours of driving in manual and decided to switch to automatic instead because it's been a couple of years since I passed my theory (4 exactly). I haven't driven since January 2020 due to COVID, so I thought I'd go automatic now that lessons are available again in a bid to get my license as soon as possible and also to remove gearing from the process since it's my big problem.



To be honest, I'm not liking automatic driving at all. I much prefer manual because it makes far more sense in my head in the sense that your speed is directly adjusted through the gears and you have clear control, whereas in automatic, the brake / gas manoeuvre to adjust the speed is really confusing because you have no real visibility/control over what you're doing and the gas pedal is very sensitive. I really don't like automatic driving and find it more annoying than anything else, but it's the easy route.

If I’m honest if anyone I was paying an extortionate amount of money to spoke to me like that (don’t think you knew what the test was about) I wouldn’t be paying them for much longer. You deserve someone to treat you with respect in the stressful situations!

 

[jefferym]

This is so similar to my experience

- 4 attempts (passed on 4th go)
- sooo much money spent on lessons
- sooo much time spent in lessons
- sooo much effort / stress
- awful awful examiners sighing and not communicating directions/instructions correctly (I honestly don’t know how they get away with this it’s awful )
- tears after every fail
- wanting to give up
- countless months trying to find a new test

what I will say is don’t give up!!! You will get it eventually. Also read this guide about [COLOR=%s]nissan rogue tire pressure[/COLOR].

by the end I was on every cancellation app available- I found testi the best but you need to check it constantly

It's true what they say—you don't learn to drive until after you've gotten your licence and are out on your own. Although that day is terrible, things get better after that.

Passing the test, which constitutes this section, only requires simple awareness and muscle memory. Everyone experiences it, however for some people it takes a little longer. In either case, you can manage it. Just keep in mind not to lose it the first time you (inevitably) stall the vehicle at a stoplight, and always check your mirrors before you begin to move.

 

[MissCherryB]

Just popping back to update: I passed my test with 2 minors on Friday. The route was much quieter than the one I had last time, mostly wider roads and my manoeuvre was a forward bay park. It does not feel real! When the examiner told me I'd passed I got out of the car and ran round the back of it for reasons unknown, I was so bloody surprised, he had to call me to come back been out with husband in the passenger seat but haven't been out on my own yet, does anyone have any tips for overcoming the fear?

 

[gossipgal21]

Thank you so much! I feel much more at ease reading this back tonight. Just need to remember it's not the end of the world if I fail... but I had a job rejection last week so I almost feel a need to prove to myself I can achieve something, anything

best of luck - totally easier said than done but try and remember you just need to drive safely not perfectly.

I don’t know if you’ve been doing 1 hour or 2 hour lessons but the test is, and feels, very quick in comparison.

Best of luck and remember the instructors do this all the time so IF you fail it’s not the end of the world and they don’t treat it like it is either. However try and think positive. Either way it’s a valuable experience.

 

[Lalla]

As someone who passed on their 6th test (25 years between tests 1 and 6, though I did have a massive break in between) I would say just take the test.

On my first test, I burst into tears because I couldn't do something and just got overwhelmed. But that was the worst thing. No one died, and doing badly on that test now is totally irrelevant because eventually I passed. If you fail, you fail. At least you tried. And then you know what to expect, and next time you'll do better.

Just to say I cried also before my 6th test. I couldn't do my manoeuvres the day before, I had a dodgy tummy, I felt stressed to the eyeballs. My partner said well don't do it then. And I thought what a waste of money that would be, had a banana and tried to calm down. And then later that day I cried again because I passed.

I can honestly say that moment of passing my test was one of the High points of my life. It's up there with the births of my kids and being the first person in my family to get a degree.

 

[Lalla]

I am so pleased to hear you passed in your 40s! You are giving me hope! How do you find driving now that you have passed?

I've been thinking about my lesson all day and on the one hand I think oh it went well I can do this, then on the other hand I'm like, but it is soooo hard, can I really do this?!

I have a friend I can go out and Ive been out in the Arnold Clark dual control cars before too and found that really helped. I just really need to stay motivated.

I loved driving right from passing my test...the freedom of just being able to jump in my car and go to places was amazing! I've got buses and trains my whole life and didn't think I needed a car, but I'd hate to be without it now.

Motorways used to really worry me at first, and it took me about 3 years to feel confident on them (changing my car helped with this, when I first passed I had a tiny, underpowered car, great for parking but not on motorways as it struggled to do over 60 ). I then did a lot of motorway driving during Covid - when the roads were half empty - and that boosted my confidence a lot.

I'm still a bit apprehensive about driving to places I don't know (and Google the route beforehand, especially if it's going into London), and I hate parallel parking but overall passing my test is still one of the best things I've ever done!

 

[leon19]

Is anyone else just getting fed up with learning now and just finding it so draining or is it just me ready to be done with it and move on with my life with a full license! My first test is 3 weeks away and I have so much anxiety about it to the point I'm having bad dreams about it like it's test day and my instructor never turns up the thought of it makes me want to be sick and it's just consuming me keep thinking the worst and telling myself what if I never pass cos I'm just too nervous now you are allowed your instructor in the car with you again on tests has anyone done it would you say it's a good or bad thing? I'm undecided part of me thinks having the familiarity there and that I feel comfortable driving with him could help my nerves but I don't know

 

[August]

Not really posted much on this thread but have been lurking. I failed my driving test last month. Have another booked in November

 

[Sallyspal]

Please don’t let the backlog put you off… tbh that is the big hurdle the huuuuuge backlog!! Book in a random town then get onto all the cancellation apps.. it is the only way and it makes a BIG difference

 

[SoulDestroyer]

I passed my first cyclist tonight and I went so wide and gave them so much room that I nearly ended up in the bushes at the opposite side of the road

 

[nightfeedz]

Posting here for the first time in about a year as I had a long break from lessons and had to redo my theory etc.

I have my third test coming up in a few weeks, first in years. I had a good lesson today with minimal input from my instructor, a lot has finally clicked and he says he knows I can drive, I just need to believe it myself.

This all sounds very good but I still have huge anxiety every time I drive and feel like a lot still goes over my head. I have to force myself out the door every time.

Really focusing on being on the other side of this anxiety and being free and independent and taking my kids on fun adventures! Even the school run and Tescos will be a dream come true for me in all seriousness!

 

[DaisySims89]

Oh glad I found this thread.

Ok so I am in my early 30s and can't drive. I did start learning at 17 just like most kids, failed my test a couple of times and totally lost confidence in myself and gave up.

Its never really hindered me much, public transport where I live is good and so its never been much of a problem.

Now I'm 31 with two kids and I have to walk EVERYWHERE. They allways needs taking to clubs and school and nursery etc and I cant rely on hubby to do it, and so I means I'm allways out walking to and from things. Its never really bothered me much until now, I want an easier way honestly.

So I'm thinking of biting the bullet and starting learning to drive again. It would be starting from scratch. The expense worries me money is tight would I even be able to afford to run a car? But most of all just my nervousness on the road worries me.

Can anyone ease me nervousness? Anyone else just not have any confidence in it?

I'm 32 and passed my test this year

Nerves and confidence were a huge part of learning to drive for me but I think the key is not to overthink or rush, remember that you control the car and not vice versa.
Having a brief understanding about how cars work may help you? You could also watch some YouTube videos
Get a good instructor, mine would work with me on my weaknesses rather than simply telling me that I was doing things wrong.
Honestly you just need to go for it, you'll be so glad you did!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Good luck to everyone who's got tests booked. I've passed my test almost a year ago now, still hate driving these threads were a god send for me.
Think positively!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Ah no, I’ve always been told that it’s get the bite and as soon as I have that, lift foot off clutch!!

I hate my driving instructor sometimes. He’s a narky old man who loves to shout at me lmao. I hope I pass, this is my 3rd time and I’m sick of the sight of him

No, once you are at the biting point, keep your left foot there and then press your right on the gas - as you press more on the gas, gently start to lift your left foot up from the clutch - don’t just lift your foot off. That’s why it’s stalling.

 

[under the ivy]

Hopefully a lot of passes will happen on this thread