Lauren Goodger #79 A hoard of waist trainers up for sale, never been used she's the size of a whale! 🐳

[Clickbait]

Many congratulations to @Cucumber and eggs for the winning thread title and apologies to @troutpout69 if your early post (#6) was a suggestion for the next thread and not just a reference to the last one.

She continues to sell more horrors in the jumble sale of doom. It appears she’s roped some lackey in to market the plethora of polyester as clearly it’s beneath a BAFTA award winning Bewful Yun Gel who is also far too busy to do anything resembling work she’s had to invest in a diary to keep track.

Dressed in a crop top and pleather shorts channelling her inner Daffyd she headed off to a concert at the O2 to spend the entire thing creaming her thankfully wipe clean shorts over her appearance in heavily filtered videos. The drunker she got the sloppier the filming got so we know that spotting her in the wild in that outfit would have been an early Christmas present as the cheap material struggled to hold in her gunt. Sadly no paps were on hand to capture this, so we had to make do with a poo brown ensemble, wonky nipples and crocs in partially-edited pics later on in the week.

If there was anything else noteworthy she did please do summarise, I couldn’t recall it.

Finally, a special mention for our very own @Crowbag who not only crafted a bewful piece of poetry in the last thread (https://tattle.life/threads/lauren-...where-jakes-ghost-lingers.34929/post-12579763) but who is also getting married tomorrow. Good luck and congratulations from the Scrunchies

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

BYG doesn’t work, Lacantchooseyourfamily doesn’t go to nursery must be a real nightmare keeping track of what’s going on each day

So then :-
Mundy - edit foters of meeeeee! Switch on Cocomelon fer baybeee gurl. Order brekfust from Uber. Blowdry and nails
Tewsdy - post foters of bewful Meeeeee and edit noo wuns. Put Cocomelon on telly fer baby gurl. Tayke moter to vallet carwosh, pose arahnd
garige 4cort, fone in Uber orders, blowdry and brows tday
Wensdiy -Plenny of selfies fer me fans neydid terday!! Baybee gurl wants ter wotch Cocomelon so put sum mor stuff online ter flog. Blowdry and sprayy tann terday!
Fursdy - Photoshop foters then post dem. Get rid of the rest of Charlys crap, slag him off an' post more pix of wot he dun ter ME. Renew
Cocomelon subs fer Laorse. Blowdry an foot manicuree beycorse got a "speshulist nite" tonite on OF
Frydiy - Ave a look froo old foters to repost of me being bewful den takye sum more. Where der duck is Cocomelon? Bollox neyd ter get sum munney in me account rite now!! Blowdry, nails an brows with sum tan beycorse I's gorra a dayte!!
Satterdiy -Iy feels like crap terday. Can't get dem shortts off eeva - neyd 'elp! Fank duck Cocomelon is back dow.......................
Sunndy - Taykin sum bewful pix of Meeeeeeee in bed; Me fans wiwl be frilled!! Laorse wotchin Cocomelon until we goes to der Toby Carvery fer lunch togevva so wheres dat stoopid bird? She's sposed to be here at 11am to blowdry me air cors I can't go out lookin like a woman can Iy???

and thus it continues ad infinitum..................................

 

[Crowbag]

Many congratulations to @Cucumber and eggs for the winning thread title and apologies to @troutpout69 if your early post (#6) was a suggestion for the next thread and not just a reference to the last one.

She continues to sell more horrors in the jumble sale of doom. It appears she’s roped some lackey in to market the plethora of polyester as clearly it’s beneath a BAFTA award winning Bewful Yun Gel who is also far too busy to do anything resembling work she’s had to invest in a diary to keep track.

Dressed in a crop top and pleather shorts channelling her inner Daffyd she headed off to a concert at the O2 to spend the entire thing creaming her thankfully wipe clean shorts over her appearance in heavily filtered videos. The drunker she got the sloppier the filming got so we know that spotting her in the wild in that outfit would have been an early Christmas present as the cheap material struggled to hold in her gunt. Sadly no paps were on hand to capture this, so we had to make do with a poo brown ensemble, wonky nipples and crocs in partially-edited pics later on in the week.

If there was anything else noteworthy she did please do summarise, I couldn’t recall it.

Finally, a special mention for our very own @Crowbag who not only crafted a bewful piece of poetry in the last thread (https://tattle.life/threads/lauren-...where-jakes-ghost-lingers.34929/post-12579763) but who is also getting married tomorrow. Good luck and congratulations from the Scrunchies

That's incredibly kind of you clicky, thank you xx

 

[Lovethewayyoulie]

Taking a seat over here...

 

[Piff paff puff]

I feel an MLM coming on

 

[PoppysMumma]

I know I go on about it but this is a grieving mother only 4 months in !!
I find her utterly disgusting.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

I know I go on about it but this is a grieving mother only 4 months in !!
I find her utterly disgusting. View attachment 1729381

Those ghastly shoes don't fit her either!
Straight onto the selling page then

 

[Crowbag]

I don't think she knows how to wear shoes.
The whole concept of buying ones that fit is beyond her, including ones for lawillgrowintothem.

If she can somehow keep them on her feet for a few minutes, including when sitting down, she thinks they're a perfect fit.
Hence the size range in the jumbly of doom.

Too short flip flops that don't have space to flip nor flop, sliding around sliders (an Americanism i can't stand, fekkin sliders), creaking crocs, giant trainers where she must have to grip with her toes to keep them on (must be a Double Knot Situation) and the teetering heels of fally downy.

The nana shoes are the only things that seem to fit.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

I have LOADS of shoes some of which are so ruddy uncomfortable that they can only be worn at a sit-down occasion. You can forget about walking anywhere in them yet I still had to have them, plus I had some crocs a few years ago too but they made my feet so claggy and uncomfortable that I got rid of them
Why does she buy shoes in a multitude of sizes though? Surely at her age she knows what bloody shoe size she is by now??

 

[MrAllSeeingEye]

Is she really bragging about popping onto Amazon and purchasing a diary and pen to use to rite fings down?

duck me, what would we do without these nuggets of wisdom. Lichrelly nobody has ever thought of using a diary to keep organised. Thanks Lauren for the life hack

 

[smellyfootballboots]

She just has the worst, most unattractive feet - just horrid. I spot them in every photo

Maybe it's her complete lack of ankle? I mean the term canckle was invented for her.

 

[Xxcxcc]

Does she think by sharing these old pics that she is gonna get a new man.i don't understand why she does it. Most people with a brain know that she doesn't look like this

 

[bluefootedbooby]

She just has the worst, most unattractive feet - just horrid. I spot them in every photo

Maybe it's her complete lack of ankle? I mean the term canckle was invented for her.
View attachment 1729530
View attachment 1729536

View attachment 1729538

I personally like the word tankle -built like a tank!!

 

[Kiki999]

As a victim of domestic abuse I think it's pretty strange to be sharing videos of Chris Brown who beat up Rihanna and Tory Lanez who shot Megan the Stallion...

 

[thenorthremembers]

She just has the worst, most unattractive feet - just horrid. I spot them in every photo

Maybe it's her complete lack of ankle? I mean the term canckle was invented for her.
View attachment 1729530
View attachment 1729536

View attachment 1729538

She’s got cankles they do look very weird like a Barbie foot

Does she think by sharing these old pics that she is gonna get a new man.i don't understand why she does it. Most people with a brain know that she doesn't look like this

There’s no way she will get a bloke with those old pics.. I’ll go and check and see if there’s any blokes commenting on her posts.. I shall report back

That was a disappointment.. although one bloke who I know commented on her pics the third picture at the top .. i wonder if he knows what she’s really like . The comments on these tho..

 

[GlassOfBeans]

What were the stories that she was a porta potty in Dubia? Did those come from her being on yachts in Dubia by herself?

 

[fimfim]

‘Jumbly of doom’ gets me every time

Just got some strange looks as I snorted laughing waiting for the kettle at work to boil Honestly, scrunchies are the best tattlers.

I don't think she knows how to wear shoes.
The whole concept of buying ones that fit is beyond her, including ones for lawillgrowintothem.

If she can somehow keep them on her feet for a few minutes, including when sitting down, she thinks they're a perfect fit.
Hence the size range in the jumbly of doom.

Too short flip flops that don't have space to flip nor flop, sliding around sliders (an Americanism i can't stand, fekkin sliders), creaking crocs, giant trainers where she must have to grip with her toes to keep them on (must be a Double Knot Situation) and the teetering heels of fally downy.

The nana shoes are the only things that seem to fit.

 

[bignellie]

I feel an MLM coming on
View attachment 1729372

The only thing being filled is her nappy

 

[OriginalAntiInfluencer]

The wild pics this wkend in DM were a belter, why does she insist in dressing like a giant poo

 

[Kerrie86]

Do we think this thread will ever move back to the celeb one? I can never find the new one!