Lauren Goodger #78 Lemons and gingers, chocolate fingers, back to the flat where Jake's ghost lingers

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Just had a sneak peek at BYG’s diary:

Sunday - Toby Carvery All You Can Eat
Monday - Carpark photoshoot
Tuesday - Buy bots
Wednesday - Film microwave meal and pretend I’ve cooked. Shaft customers on my flea market Instagram
Thursday - Jake’s ghost seance
Friday - Out with the gels/face-fuck the camera the whole night
Saturday - Call an ambulance for my come down
 
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Tuesday: Go to Dagenham markets and pick up some .50p clothes to sell to my idiot followers
 
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BYG doesn’t work, Lacantchooseyourfamily doesn’t go to nursery must be a real nightmare keeping track of what’s going on each day

Is she trying to be like Hinch? Whom, may I add, I also can't fucking stand.
 
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Apparently its all about making memories, that lil la`fuckthisSHITImofftojointhecircus .... can look back on and be proud of her muvvvaaaa .... Im sure google will gladly show the lil one, when she's old enough .... her mummy in all her glory .... BIGGGG lozzzz, do shut up, you massive TWAT! ... as per usual you are talking out of that hideous ARSE .... WHAT FUCKING memories are these, that lil la`givemeabloodyforkandspoonsoIcaneatproperlyFFS ... can look back on and be proud .. as will her peers at school ... she really pisses me off with all her hypocritical, fake CRAP
 

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In fairness, we have all made mistakes in our younger years, ones we know we would prefer our kids not to and we try and teach them right from wrong…BUT then we have this ‘gel’ teaching her lovely little daughter that she can be anything she wants to be.. as long as it is filtered to fuck, entices the ‘boyz’ and gets you in the DM
 
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I’m baffled by that first photo. There’s just, I don’t quite know, so much chest? Like my eyes were tracking across the vast expanse of tit, expecting a front on nipple to appear soon, surely, anatomically, it should be there - but the tit just kept going. I hope this makes sense lol
 
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God that hideous belly button made me sick up
 
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AGAIN I've had to run here when I saw this, her foot her shoe, you lot go on all the time about her feet and her shoes being too small. So this stuck out to me and cracked me up!!!!

Tuesday: Go to Dagenham markets and pick up some .50p clothes to sell to my idiot followers
And some new knock off fake designer Lewis Vuttons and Paarada stuffs cos I sold all.mine have sold. Need more. New fake ones now. Might do that Wednesday with my sunbed salon trip.
Scribbles out Thursdays- Turning baby gels pram around, changed my mind my baby gel of course only wants to see my bewfel face an nufink else cos my face is my obsession so baby gel can stare at my bewfel pretty face as much as me too.
 

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Dear Dairy

Laureen here, startin new life. New me, new life, new day, new nite, new house, sort of, new crocs.
I'm a stron independent women, makin me own way in life.
Husband and wife and muvva and farther to my bewful house wiv annex or wivout, but no shed. Oh yeah, and stron husband and farther to lil larose.

(glues in 36 photos of alien face pointy chin self)

Am bewful.
Not bein boasty but that's the hole troof. Am blessed wiv bewfulness.
And am award winnin baffa bewful too, not just any bewful.

(glues in copy of the laureen poster with 'bafta' coloured in orange highlighter, with stick on shiny stars)

More tomoro Dear Dairy.
Got to spend time bein best muvva in world to my gel, she's my hole world, my best friend, my mini me, am busy wiv lil gel 26/7 but thas what muvvas do.
Anyway finished bein wiv baby gel now, 3 minutes was enuf to take 7 videos of my bubba and my titties.

Back laters.
Love you.
Livin my best life.
 
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Ps too many snakes on here inbox me hun
 
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New Cross Bafta bewful LOLsssss. Dear DAIRY ha ha haaaaaa. You lot are hilarious
 
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