Lauren Goodger #18 Sheesh shock! New dad on the block?

[Clickbait]

Congratulations to @liar liar for the thread title, an early contender that never got toppled.

A Daily Mail account is trying to create some drama and intrigue over who the father of Big Loz’s baby can be. We’ve heard that he is a waiter from Sheesh, a friend of Stephen Bear, and even a rich Arab!

Her likeness to the late Pete Burns was flagged again, matching hair, lips and clothing.

Everyone pregnant or not is absolutely fascinated by her ‘pregacy’. She is such a knowledgeable yungel that other fake accounts pregnant mothers are reaching out to her for her advice.

But my goodness this pregnancy is taking it out of our poor yungel. She has pains in her front bone
and now needs to resume bed rest after she hoovered the carpet and went to Home Bargains for some biscuits.

Some more ‘cooking’ took place - corn (obvs), 22 pieces of chicken coated in some sauce ((“that’s mine” says Big Loz “get your own!”), and underwhelming Sunday roast, and erm, some spring onions...

But things aren’t going so well with Oddbod’s cooking tutor (Dadthedish(cloth)) who has decided to respond to social media engagement by criticising people’s appearance. So #bekind but don’t? He’ll also be ragin’ that Oddbod has flaked out on session 2 making some nutritious fried food.

@Dollylovesshoes had a theory about how Big Loz can wipe her ginormous arse.

Oddbod is just very proud of himself that he can get out of bed and go to work after Big Loz told him that the bed and sofa keep her hostage. He wants you to know he’s not a life coach though in case you wondered, but if there’s money in it no doubt he’ll turn up for some motivational speaking (in his white y-fronts with his hard hat on for an extra fee).

We eagerly awaited the next set up set of pics which see our yungel out of the car park and randomly wandering in a field. @Fifthavenue called it with the new shoes (will the orthopaedic old lady trainers be put on her Depop? We’d all be gagging to get our hands on them for the Scrunchie gathering).

The photos led @Whatstheteasis to make the startling discovery that Big Loz has the Benjamin Button of baby bumps.

@Pom Bear made some more excellent art work, some examples of which are attached.

 

[Blowup80]

I think we need a Lozza dictionary for any new members seen as we talk so much craziness on here!
So here goes, feel free to add!

Lozza - Lauren Goodger
Chaz- Charles Drury
Oddbod- Also Charles, Carry On character looks like Charles.
Sink boy - Also Charles, he made a video of himself spunking in to a sink, as you do.
Mole man- Lauren's manager, looks like a mole.
Tom Thumb- As above, also looks like a thumb
Violent scrunchie- Lozza always wore the same dirty scrunchie.
Scrunchies - Lozza thread followers.
Hollywood 2- Lozza's favourite facetune.
Sheesh man- possible real baby dad works at Sheesh
Baybeh- How Lozza says baby
Yung gel- How Lozza says young girl.
ET- referenced to Lozza having a neck like ET
Velozzaraptor- referenced to Lozza's little hands, especially worse with Photoshop fails
Sweet corn/Corn on the cob - Lozza's favourite food.
Vine tomatoes - once beautifully placed on top of a plate of slop.
Slop - most of what Lozza eats.
Pit- Lozza's bed.
Sausage skin - Lozza's favourite lounge wear.
Peppa/piggy- Lozza.

I'm tired now.

 

[doc84]

And she had the nerve to say ‘basic but practical’ yeah cos that’s probs all they were going to give you

Hey Big Loz/Mole Man. Thanks for reading.
Just so you know, you’ve reached a new low today. A £1300 pram gifted to you during your ‘pregnancy’ is generous, and you call it basic. Just so you know, my NHS colleagues and I have been working flat out for the last year in effectively a war zone. As have many other key workers, and those who have needed to find new work because their roles became redundant during the pandemic. Because we all declare our earnings, many of us don’t take home much more than £1300 to live on unless we sacrifice more weekends and evenings working, to contribute to items that can be considered as a luxury.
So while you’re resting that ‘natural’ bottom in your gifted bed, you might want to think about how fortunate you are for your ‘basic’ gifts that would take many of us months to save for. But then, I suppose our child will never have to know that we used and manipulated a pregnancy for men to masturbate over.
Have some grace and humility Lauren.

 

[Pom Bear]

She looks like she’s sat on the bog

I've added the yellow thing as her legs are missing xx.

 

[Pom Bear]

Even Nora Batty has to poke Loz with a stick to get her to move. xx.

 

[Bee kind]

Planning another Q and A, and apparently her bump has "settled" or some nonsense.

She positions herself in such odd shapes, looks like she’s levitating off the sofa/bed! It must take her all day to sus out the angles, what an awful way to live your life, Charles must come home from grafting and find her hanging off the arm of the sofa with her toes wedged in the plug socket

 

[Fifthavenue]

20 weeks today? So the scan was this morning? Right. Why's all the scans distorted and the dates hidden again. She thinks we're all thick. We can't stop laughing at copyright again.

 

[Kilo005]

Same spot as the last pap walk, same flares, same tiny trainer, same facetune & subtle “oh I’m just on the phone you’ve caught me totally unawares”

 

[Fifthavenue]

Another set up will be gracing the screens today. The field is her new car park as it's the same place as last set so all in the same day. On the phone again. Airbrushed face. Looks different size in each picture. Her body, the bump and the giraffe neck with chiseled chin. Wait until you see the editing on the legs. Wearing stripes so you can see when they're wavy or tried to be rubbed out. Let alone the wavy gate in the background. Hair up and bag though this time and different shoes seen as people commented why would you go out with no bag. They take note. I'm sure Craig comes on here for inspiration. He loves to be spoken about, they both do.

 

[NosyRosy71]

I'm not a poster, just a reader and I this thread. Always my go too. Never fails to make me laugh.
50 of Surrey.
Drinking wine on a Sunday.
Cos Lockdown is shite.

 

[MunHun]

I’m LG with many fake fans, a basic pram and a gay for pay man.

 

[Pom Bear]

I've loved the quality street toffee penny comments so I've made this lol xx

I've left Nora in to make it more funny still xx

 

[Pom Bear]

Someone on the DM comments called her the ‘Essex Princess Fiona’ @Pom Bear

Here you are lol xx.
She got the same big hands and I gave her the bag again as she's hardly out without it xx.

 

[What a pile of crap]

This thread is my absolute guilty pleasure. I don't know how I found but man I'm glad I did. I'm working crazy hours at the min and at the end of the day I have a bath and read this thread and giggle, a lot. Thankfully I haven't had any dreams about Big Loz from reading all this.

In her rambling second income story where she had quite clearly been told to shoe horn in some set phrases, was it just my phone or did the sound not match the video? Probably all the filtering she's been doing. Either that or my signal is b*****ed.

 

[JakeM]

I saw it and thought Goodger probably is on her way to coin star. I don't use social media don't know what any of the old fellas/females are up to but can imagine if I saw them on the Daily Mail with their million pound mansion and new multi million renovation eek that may sting.

But then again my ex loves I hope them the best hahaha I wrote that and thought lies. I just wish them health and I could care less.

Fuck the Sun but WOW this is one hour ago

Lauren Goodger slams new Towie cast saying ‘they’ve had so much work done'

LAUREN Goodger slammed the new Towie cast saying “they’ve had so much work done and there’s too many of them”. The reality star, 34, starred in the first series of the ITVBe…

www.thesun.co.uk

“They’ve had too much work done”

Lauren...seriously??

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

I can't tell where the fake tan ends and the romford market leisurewear starts

 

[Pom Bear]

Chaz is back in his 1970s catalogue again this time underwear instead of his favourite jumpers xx.

Back later .

 

[Pom Bear]

Congratulations to @liar liar for the thread title, an early contender that never got toppled.

A Daily Mail account is trying to create some drama and intrigue over who the father of Big Loz’s baby can be. We’ve heard that he is a waiter from Sheesh, a friend of Stephen Bear, and even a rich Arab!

Her likeness to the late Pete Burns was flagged again, matching hair, lips and clothing.

Everyone pregnant or not is absolutely fascinated by her ‘pregacy’. She is such a knowledgeable yungel that other fake accounts pregnant mothers are reaching out to her for her advice.

But my goodness this pregnancy is taking it out of our poor yungel. She has pains in her front bone
and now needs to resume bed rest after she hoovered the carpet and went to Home Bargains for some biscuits.

Some more ‘cooking’ took place - corn (obvs), 22 pieces of chicken coated in some sauce ((“that’s mine” says Big Loz “get your own!”), and underwhelming Sunday roast, and erm, some spring onions...

But things aren’t going so well with Oddbod’s cooking tutor (Dadthedish(cloth)) who has decided to respond to social media engagement by criticising people’s appearance. So #bekind but don’t? He’ll also be ragin’ that Oddbod has flaked out on session 2 making some nutritious fried food.

@Dollylovesshoes had a theory about how Big Loz can wipe her ginormous arse.

Oddbod is just very proud of himself that he can get out of bed and go to work after Big Loz told him that the bed and sofa keep her hostage. He wants you to know he’s not a life coach though in case you wondered, but if there’s money in it no doubt he’ll turn up for some motivational speaking (in his white y-fronts with his hard hat on for an extra fee).

We eagerly awaited the next set up set of pics which see our yungel out of the car park and randomly wandering in a field. @Fifthavenue called it with the new shoes (will the orthopaedic old lady trainers be put on her Depop? We’d all be gagging to get our hands on them for the Scrunchie gathering).

The photos led @Whatstheteasis to make the startling discovery that Big Loz has the Benjamin Button of baby bumps.

@Pom Bear made some more excellent art work, some examples of which are attached.

Thank you for adding my pics that's a lovely surprise also excellent summary of the last thread. xx.

Today's pic as suggested yesterday with added Chanel bag and I've gave her an Oreo biscuit xx.

 

[NinaStar90]

I feel sorry that she has body dysmorphia, I hope she can be good role model

She's a roll model. Mayo rolls and fat rolls.

 

[Katie8ee]

Congratulations to @liar liar for the thread title, an early contender that never got toppled.

A Daily Mail account is trying to create some drama and intrigue over who the father of Big Loz’s baby can be. We’ve heard that he is a waiter from Sheesh, a friend of Stephen Bear, and even a rich Arab!

Her likeness to the late Pete Burns was flagged again, matching hair, lips and clothing.

Everyone pregnant or not is absolutely fascinated by her ‘pregacy’. She is such a knowledgeable yungel that other fake accounts pregnant mothers are reaching out to her for her advice.

But my goodness this pregnancy is taking it out of our poor yungel. She has pains in her front bone
and now needs to resume bed rest after she hoovered the carpet and went to Home Bargains for some biscuits.

Some more ‘cooking’ took place - corn (obvs), 22 pieces of chicken coated in some sauce ((“that’s mine” says Big Loz “get your own!”), and underwhelming Sunday roast, and erm, some spring onions...

But things aren’t going so well with Oddbod’s cooking tutor (Dadthedish(cloth)) who has decided to respond to social media engagement by criticising people’s appearance. So #bekind but don’t? He’ll also be ragin’ that Oddbod has flaked out on session 2 making some nutritious fried food.

@Dollylovesshoes had a theory about how Big Loz can wipe her ginormous arse.

Oddbod is just very proud of himself that he can get out of bed and go to work after Big Loz told him that the bed and sofa keep her hostage. He wants you to know he’s not a life coach though in case you wondered, but if there’s money in it no doubt he’ll turn up for some motivational speaking (in his white y-fronts with his hard hat on for an extra fee).

We eagerly awaited the next set up set of pics which see our yungel out of the car park and randomly wandering in a field. @Fifthavenue called it with the new shoes (will the orthopaedic old lady trainers be put on her Depop? We’d all be gagging to get our hands on them for the Scrunchie gathering).

The photos led @Whatstheteasis to make the startling discovery that Big Loz has the Benjamin Button of baby bumps.

@Pom Bear made some more excellent art work, some examples of which are attached.

@Clickbait I love this your recap is a work of art, I laughed solidly and did an oh the happy memories sigh congrats @liar liar on the thread title it's a belter!

We have also just got a new post from Big Loz selling some sort of leggings when she was "very early pregnant". I'm sure you all remember that time she broke lockdown to go get her hair done, at a salon, that should be closed, while not wearing a mask so yeh that.