Well done to @Hereforthegossss and @gossip29 for the thread title and the nomination. In the words of our favourite oat baker, it’s mega ok…
After her ‘super-allowed’ social media break and fortnight of silence, she’s back at full throttle looking like a steamroller making its way across the wild plains of Crosby Beach covered in a thin layer of grime, lightly masked with foundation 4 shades too dark and 14 days of dry shampoo coverage…
The week started with a letter in the post for the Wirral’s Mullet of the year, 2009. Not a Disco Minge birthday card this time written by herself. This time it was a typed up by herself thankyou note from a prior client who mysteriously writes and spells in a very similar way to Miss Makeup. The lucky client had also had the honour of being invited to the Truffle House of Fun and into the fliming room of beige, and was also ‘lucky enough to be introduced to Olive.’ Imagine, the same person who has spent the last two years crying about being stalked giving out her home address and inviting a complete stranger in? It’s almost like it’s been a completely fabricated tale, isn’t it??
Apparently, new flatty boom boom Truff has decided that she has a new way to deal with her single ‘troll’ - basically doxxing the only person who dares to question what she’s doing and who is single handedly writing every post on all 139 threads on here. Once again proving she would lose a battle of wits with a Battenberg cake, she decided to announce this news through the medium of a dance similar to one performed by those giant inflatable men you get outside car showrooms during gale force winds. One can only assume she was going for a bit of a Kate Bush vibe. Sadly for her, and hysterically for us, she looked more like the secret love child of Katie Hopkins and Baboushka releasing a thermal fart from under an unfastened strait jacket - please, if you do nothing else this year, go and watch the masterpiece from @Poirotthepigeon in the last thread.
Another advert for her mates at Collection showcasing their new range. Can 100% confirm that I will not be buying any of their products unless I suddenly feel the need to look like I’ve been smashing up drywall all day. We were also treated to a bizarre makeup look consisting of a couple of inches of diamante doily trimming glued above a set of googly eyes. Unless it was to a Fraggle Rock convention, I genuinely can’t see another situation where that would be the chosen makeup look - ‘Yes, that’s the one, please make me look like something Jim Henson decided would be too weird to put on kid’s telly.’
A quick ‘work’ trip to London for the Wirral’s 56th most important salon chair renter and Mummy’s little pay packet. The day was mainly spent at an event where Olive looked at some books and ate some cakes, while Fungus the Trufflemum flimed her and tagged a children’s PR company. Maybe she’s hoping she’ll be gifted more summer clothes that look like winter clothes? Or an all-in-one that looks like a tea towel after a couple of washes? Or some brown socks similar to those my grandad was buried in? You can say what you like about old Truffle (flat) Tits, but you can never deny she knows how to ensure her kid will get the piss taken out of them when her high school friends get hold of the pictures…
Another weekend off for ‘family time’ (also known as Soft Lad has threatened her with a bath if she makes a twit of him again by dancing around the kitchen in the Turin Shroud). Fear not though, she still flimed her mega exciting Saturday and Sunday and delighted us with tales of buying a new matterrrss (PLF’s jizz stains finally getting too crusty, eh Matt?) and of taking Olive fracking for some reason. Just when you thought she couldn’t get any more crusty and minty than she already is, she treated us to video footage she had taken whilst leaving a couple of brown sharks in the toilet. Whether she thought this would prove that ‘Momma life’ is just non-stop for her, or Baby Money Maker ‘just will not leave her alone’, all it has done is prove that she is a food-stained yeti with the hygiene standards of a parasitic worm.
We leave her now advertising mascara by asking to look at how different it is to the other one she used. Dear readers, there is no difference..
And finally, WHY CAN’T THE MASSIVE PIECE OF TUNA SPELL NURSERY YET??????
As always, Read the Wiki…
After her ‘super-allowed’ social media break and fortnight of silence, she’s back at full throttle looking like a steamroller making its way across the wild plains of Crosby Beach covered in a thin layer of grime, lightly masked with foundation 4 shades too dark and 14 days of dry shampoo coverage…
The week started with a letter in the post for the Wirral’s Mullet of the year, 2009. Not a Disco Minge birthday card this time written by herself. This time it was a typed up by herself thankyou note from a prior client who mysteriously writes and spells in a very similar way to Miss Makeup. The lucky client had also had the honour of being invited to the Truffle House of Fun and into the fliming room of beige, and was also ‘lucky enough to be introduced to Olive.’ Imagine, the same person who has spent the last two years crying about being stalked giving out her home address and inviting a complete stranger in? It’s almost like it’s been a completely fabricated tale, isn’t it??
Apparently, new flatty boom boom Truff has decided that she has a new way to deal with her single ‘troll’ - basically doxxing the only person who dares to question what she’s doing and who is single handedly writing every post on all 139 threads on here. Once again proving she would lose a battle of wits with a Battenberg cake, she decided to announce this news through the medium of a dance similar to one performed by those giant inflatable men you get outside car showrooms during gale force winds. One can only assume she was going for a bit of a Kate Bush vibe. Sadly for her, and hysterically for us, she looked more like the secret love child of Katie Hopkins and Baboushka releasing a thermal fart from under an unfastened strait jacket - please, if you do nothing else this year, go and watch the masterpiece from @Poirotthepigeon in the last thread.
Another advert for her mates at Collection showcasing their new range. Can 100% confirm that I will not be buying any of their products unless I suddenly feel the need to look like I’ve been smashing up drywall all day. We were also treated to a bizarre makeup look consisting of a couple of inches of diamante doily trimming glued above a set of googly eyes. Unless it was to a Fraggle Rock convention, I genuinely can’t see another situation where that would be the chosen makeup look - ‘Yes, that’s the one, please make me look like something Jim Henson decided would be too weird to put on kid’s telly.’
A quick ‘work’ trip to London for the Wirral’s 56th most important salon chair renter and Mummy’s little pay packet. The day was mainly spent at an event where Olive looked at some books and ate some cakes, while Fungus the Trufflemum flimed her and tagged a children’s PR company. Maybe she’s hoping she’ll be gifted more summer clothes that look like winter clothes? Or an all-in-one that looks like a tea towel after a couple of washes? Or some brown socks similar to those my grandad was buried in? You can say what you like about old Truffle (flat) Tits, but you can never deny she knows how to ensure her kid will get the piss taken out of them when her high school friends get hold of the pictures…
Another weekend off for ‘family time’ (also known as Soft Lad has threatened her with a bath if she makes a twit of him again by dancing around the kitchen in the Turin Shroud). Fear not though, she still flimed her mega exciting Saturday and Sunday and delighted us with tales of buying a new matterrrss (PLF’s jizz stains finally getting too crusty, eh Matt?) and of taking Olive fracking for some reason. Just when you thought she couldn’t get any more crusty and minty than she already is, she treated us to video footage she had taken whilst leaving a couple of brown sharks in the toilet. Whether she thought this would prove that ‘Momma life’ is just non-stop for her, or Baby Money Maker ‘just will not leave her alone’, all it has done is prove that she is a food-stained yeti with the hygiene standards of a parasitic worm.
We leave her now advertising mascara by asking to look at how different it is to the other one she used. Dear readers, there is no difference..
And finally, WHY CAN’T THE MASSIVE PIECE OF TUNA SPELL NURSERY YET??????
As always, Read the Wiki…
she’s a div.
