John Stones

[secrethush]

JOHN IF YOU’RE SINGLE BABE I AM HERE!

Me:
no kids by other footballers
Fully vaxxed
Pristine
Great tits
Very open minded

 

[Gossgossgoss9888]

Just gives off great vibes. I would probably marry him.

 

[BDY_97]

Why have I only just discovered this thread?! I have been reading all morning and genuinely HOWLING with laughter I fell in love with John during the 2018 world cup and have always thought he was so underrated, but I hated that he was so inactive on social media until like 2020 I had never even seen a picture of him and ON together until I found this thread and already i’ve seen enough of her Anyway, cheers for the laughs this morning

 

[secrethush]

A few of them have done the exact same as Ashley Young and had illegitimate kids with skanks so.. they are all alike!

She doesn’t really have a type, just be rich and a footballer
even for a movie script this whole story is a bit too wild

You know damn well she wouldn’t have given John the time of day if be wasn’t a young, footballer in the midst of a breakdown of his relationship, i bet she was like DING DING DING! Haha

They both spotted Olivia here

 

[Violetroselily]

Can you comment on his dick size, or his performance in bed?

P.s. sorry if you are his sister or mum

 

[Ltm19]

Oh hi there!

Can't contribute to the thread but happy to watch on lurking mood.

I saw the man in the flesh and can confirm he really is all that.

 

[secrethush]

I just wanna know if he shags like a bastard.

 

[secrethush]

John checking tattle.

 

[secrethush]

Corp. Pussy slayer reporting for duty.

Atleast i’m no longer going to breakup with my bf because John isn’t single.

 

[Encyclopedia]

Why have I only just discovered this thread?! I have been reading all morning and genuinely HOWLING with laughter I fell in love with John during the 2018 world cup and have always thought he was so underrated, but I hated that he was so inactive on social media until like 2020 I had never even seen a picture of him and ON together until I found this thread and already i’ve seen enough of her Anyway, cheers for the laughs this morning

Welcome to this elite club where members have the absolute best taste in men

 

[Gossgossgoss9888]

I reaaaaaally think this needs to be qualified with a photo spam.

Here's your start and end points

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Honestly his arm in this photo is lifechanging

I do apologise! And will attempt to redeem myself.

I actually think it's been a three-stage glow-up.

Everton/early City John was kind of ordinary looking. Not unpleasant to look at, just nothing particularly special.

A lanky guy with an awkward demeanour and a slightly unflattering hairstyle. By no means ugly, and he's always has a cute smile. But probably not sending too many pulses racing. He looks - and John, I'm so sorry about this - like his face is too big for his head. He's early 20s but still hasn't grown into his looks.

Glow-up stage 1 is his first couple of years at City, into the 2018 World Cup. Heading towards his mid-20s, he starts styling his hair a little and although still very skinny, is able to gain a little bit of muscle. Still has that air of awkwardness I don't think he'll ever completely lose (I hope not!), he's growing into his features and he becomes much more obviously attractive in a pretty-boy kind of way.

Post-World Cup and the couple of years that follow, we get glow-up stage 2. He reduces how much he styles his hair, embracing his natural curls. His physique gets just a little sturdier, and he grows his facial hair more often, whether it's just a little stubble or slightly more substantial scruff. He finds his form on the pitch and his confidence grows. He seems to just... relax. And it's really hot. He looks great and he looks like he doesn't care how he looks.

Then for the past year or so we've been in glow-up phase 3, which is basically more of the same plus his training/nutrition/metabolism is adding muscles and filling him out more than ever, so not only does he look gorgeous but he also looks fit and strong and healthy, and that makes his football better which further feeds into his confidence, and everyone knows confidence is sexy as hell.

It's not about being a big muscle-man (I doubt his build is even capable of that) but it's that combination of health and strength and happiness and confidence...

 

[secrethush]

Starting to think maybe the dominatrix teenager was telling the truth and it’s caused him grief in tenerife at home

 

[Encyclopedia]

Just to make this wednesday a bit less miserable (not sorry for posting some of them the 76th time)

 

[secrethush]

Had to crop because no dogs allowed.

he is WHIPPED.

 

[Holidaybobs]

IMAGINE this date

I’m sorry but, every time I see your name, I read it as ‘Secret Thrush’ and always think you’ve got thrush from John

 

[Encyclopedia]

The bikes in Dubai - after all her preaching I wonder if she’s given in and had the vaccine?!

On my way to Cheshire

 

[secrethush]

Some rugged fluff for your nerves…

SATAN TAKE ME NOW!

 

[Gossgossgoss9888]

At least if he's walking around some school, he's not contagious and his legs are working. Which either means he's better and we might see him play soon, or there are some other mysterious circumstances keeping him away from work (or I guess a mild but niggly injury).

Do we think that’s what John is like on a date? Proper nervous like a schoolboy or does he give fuckboy energy.

Millie-drop a reply below pls hun x

This John pulls your chair out for you and speaks knowledgeably about the wine list and hits you with the intense eye contact and maybe a little smile like he knows it makes your knees weak.

This John drags you to the dancefloor and sings along to every song, daring you to tell him he's singing all the wrong words. He's got his shirt like that because you told him it looks ridiculous.

This John is all chat-up lines and ridiculous flirtation and it's hilarious but also strangely endearing because he's trying so hard to impress you.

You will have great stories to tell after a date with this John, because this John is all mischief. He'll say "it's one to tell our grandkids" and then you'll see his soul leave his body in embarrassment.

This John talks about his feelings.

This John brings his friends.

This John brings his dad.

 

[Violetroselily]

 

[Gossgossgoss9888]

I'm deep in my feelings about cute!John today.

Also cute af, his friendship with Bernardo.

I just can't imagine how much someone has to love you to name their dog after you