Jay Slater Teen Missing In Tenerife #6

[pimplepopper123]

Bryan isn't messing about guys

 

[My2pWorth]

If Jay had a Nokia 3310 he'd still be on 1% battery sat playing snake whilst stuck to a cactus

 

[Pix_]

I really hate the whole “everyone’s got a past”. Yes but most of us aren’t drug dealing machete wielding weasels.

Slowly puts machete under the bed and quietly leaves thread......

 

[FastAndTheCurious7]

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say I don’t think there has been anything dodgy at all. I genuinely think he was just off his face went to an after party with some people he just met decided to try and walk back and got lost. Brad and Lucy mixing up stories as they would have been off their tits too and might not have realised the social media storm this was going to create. There hasn’t been one credible source - it’s all come from bullshit fake accounts and hearsay. It’s really sad but I think they will find him eventually on the mountain and there will be no sign of suspicious injury. All the Facebook huns will switch off their detective hats and will all start posting RIP with that cartoon of him walking away with Paddington and the queen or his photo of him in the clouds with photoshopped wings 🪽

 

[bubbadabut]

There was a young raver called Jay,
Who came a cropper on holiday
On drugs he got smashed
Mum siphoned the cash
But don't talk about the machet-ay

Boom Boom.

 

[Wee Toots]

Legs on the ground

 

[lilykestrel]

love how he's not actually doing any climbing in that shot, he's just edging along by the road looking like Slenderman

 

[YeahBrackie]

So they're using some of the money to fly people out to support the people who are already there? Fully expecting another update in a week explaining that the people who have been flown out to provide support will also need support themselves and therefore another group of people will have to be flown out. Fuck me, we're gonna end up with the whole of the UK out there

 

[Rags2Riches]

I think there's also another element that there seems to be an overlap between the type of people who join in on all the melodramatic obsessive Facebook groups, and the type of people who have kids similar to Jay. I've seen a lot of comments along the lines of "My lad's the same age and going on holiday to Tenerife soon" "My lad goes to raves too and loves a drink" "Everyone's got a past, my lad got in with the wrong crowd too" etc etc. There's a lot of projection, I think, and a lot of the more obsessive people on the Facebook groups seem to be relating Jay to their own sons, which is making them way too emotionally invested and hysterical.

I really hate the whole “everyone’s got a past”. Yes but most of us aren’t drug dealing machete wielding weasels.

 

[Camping Mat]

Lucy and that Brandon all over DailyFail this morning… they can’t hide for long even with their deactivated social media accounts.

"TV investigator Mark Williams-Thomas who is in contact with the family said he has two working theories, that he had an accident and is on the mountain or a criminal party is involved"

Wow. It seems like some progress is being made.

 

[Multi-21]

I mean tbf to her she’s had a lot of stick from people asking what the money is for so at least she has provided an explanation

Yes but flying over family and friends to be support and pay for the accommodation. It’s just a bloody holiday for their extended associates at this point

 

[Sh1tRollsDownHill]

My eldest is at his school leavers’ ball tonight.

Me and my best friend:
View attachment 3020924

My son (23) called me yesterday in a panic wanting to know something quick and said I've only got 1% battery left.
Well, I was a bit naughty and replied OK Jay Slater, calm down!
Heard him say what the fuck and laughing, then the phone went dead.
Assuming he's made friends with cactus now, as I've I've not heard from him since.

 

[LittleMissOnions]

Legs on the ground here at Glastonbury and I can report no sign of Jay despite waving glosticks and playing loud trance in Shangri-La at 2am

Will head to the cider bus in a bit provided the eagles aren’t circling overhead!

 

[pufferfish]

I’ve been inspired by the poetry and written a song for ar Jay:


He’ll be sliding down the mountain when he comes,
He’ll be surfing on a cacti when he comes,
He’ll be sliding down the mountain,
Shark badger, he’ll be mounting,
He’ll be sliding down the mountain when he comes!

Singing where’s my little baggy gone?
Singing anyone seen my bloody mum?
She’s at the all inclusive,
While I’m being elusive,
And they’re drinking the hotel bar dry!

Can someone get in touch with Ronaldo and see if he can put a word in with the England lads and get them to sing it before the game on Sunday. Jay might see it and decide to come home, god bless the little angle xo

 

[Cady1954]

Inspired by my idol the one and only Dolly Parton. Please sing along to her million seller hit 'JOLENE'



His beauty is beyond compare
His mother says it's so unfair
Lads like Jay should never go AWOL
He's such a loving caring lad
He's never done a thing that's bad
Tell that to the lad he almost killed

Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaayyyyy
We're praying to the gods that you're okay
Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaayyyyy
Please come back and claim your 40K

The Facebook huns are up in arms
Telling police to search the farms
Checking all the cacti on the way
He may have fallen down a hole
Been eaten by a hungry mole
The eagles may have carried him away

Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaayyyy
We're praying to the gods that you are fine
Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaayyyyy
If you could only give us all a sign

That rapids guy's a dozy prick
Acting like a proper dick
Saying that he'll bring the lad back home
He's up and down that mountain trail
Searching but to no avail
Too busy talking shite into his phone

Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaaay
Tattlers are sending virtual hugs
Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaaayyyyyy
We wish you hadn't taken all those drugs

Now Debs is throwing quite a strop
Saying that the trolls won't stop
Claiming that Jay's underneath her bed
They say she's Karen Matthews 2
Debs says that that just isn't true
He's hiding in a cupboard understairs

Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaaay
Your mother says the trolls are a disgrace
Ojay Ojay Ojay Ojaaaayyy
We think now is the time to show your face

 

[YeahBrackie]

He really needs a girlfriend.

Christ, imagine. Bloke probably narrates his sexual encounters. "Just about to enter the cavern, guys. Big love, guys. Entering the cavern. It's all about the love, guys. Hopefully be seeing a ravine soon, guys. A ravine, guys. Most people couldn't do this properly, guys, but they don't have the expertise I do, guys. Super expertise."

 

[hayleybaby]

That’s enough internet for me today

 

[lyndseyross115]

Dont know if anyone has been following missing Dillon Duffy but he's been located and is safe.

 

[dressinggownofdoom]

Meanwhile over in poetry corner

 

[FastAndTheCurious7]

Can someone explain this whole shit show to me like I’m 5? It’s like the plot of a book my kid would write and my ADHD brain just can’t handle it

Basically a teenager when on holiday to a rave and got off his tits on drugs decided to go back with some guy’s possibly to do more drugs. Woke up still off his tits and decided he was better off walking into the mountains then get a taxi or wait for a lift. His friends who were equally off their tits probably could have done with 3-5 business days to become fully functioning humans again, which is why their stories don’t make sense. Meanwhile all the Facebook huns are on a mission to solve some underworld mafia drug ring In Tenerife where 18yr old Lucy is the top dog. There is some weird slenderman tiktoker prancing about the mountains serving no real purpose other than boosting his own ego. There is also something about a white car, two guys and the mysterious case of the blanket in the nighttime. In all honesty mate fuck knows what’s going on. All I do know is it’s bringing out the most unhinged people.