Jack Monroe #78 All of your food is brown

[Lanie]

My daughter is on way home and texted asking what’s for tea. I’ve told her curried liver. Suspect she’ll just stay on the bus forever.

Good call for her.
also don't be surprised if man in white coats come to take you on "special journey"

 

[Malacandra]

There was a thing in the press a while back. Some newspaper was shaming a ex-soap actor for now working in retail (I think) and lots of actors spoke out because 1) it's the nature of the industry that you may need to do other work in-between gigs 2) there's nothing shameful for working any job to feed yourself and your family.

When I worked in the public sector, many of our temps were actors, some of whom were quite well-known faces. A few of them actually eventually packed in the acting and stayed on permanently.

 

[Malacandra]

I thou

and here's dinner with answers to our queries! that pasta ain't smartprice

oh, that's not actually dinner...? was that last night's then?

View attachment 256043View attachment 256044

I thought that she tidied her fridge on Thursdays?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

As expected she is so puffed up and full of her importance that she’s speaking on behalf of ‘Marcus’, who she had retweeted. View attachment 255474View attachment 255476
Dickhead.View attachment 255477View attachment 255480

everything is all about....

Me Me GIF - The Simpsons Homer Simpson Dan Castellaneta - Discover & Share GIFs

Click to view the GIF

tenor.com

 

[Tabitha D]

Shouldn't she inform the council that the "shitty bungalow" is being used for business purposes rather than just residential? My uncle got into a shed load of trouble for running a business from a private dwelling, and all he was doing was the office admin. Something to do with business rates rather that residential council tax, not exactly sure, but he had a lot of money to shell out.

All that needs to happen is someone to report her, as happened to my uncle (who has joined Viv, god rest her) and she will be be under investigation.

I imagine the landlord would be a bit concerned about that as they may end up having to foot any bill.

 

[MrsOgre]

What is she making? Apart from burning stuff to a blackened husk.

From the film Time Bandits and this is the scene at the end. Where Jack has cremated bread in that oven perched upon two microwaves and nothing to do with the actual film plot.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Would there be anything left of the bread after 30 minutes at 180??

It'd be drier than the 5-days-past-its-expiry-date bacon and lard bagel from the other day.

 

[Tabitha D]

That pasta looks...orite Jack

Slightly disappointed it’s not Action Man bow-tie pasta though.

 

[Lanie]

View attachment 257094
His poor arteries.View attachment 257095View attachment 257096
Oh, is she back?

Tinned fish and potato bread is not the one. Also I thought she loved on tinned stuff. Not one tin to be seen.

 

[Whiskers]

Hasn’t her beloved David Cameron been volunteering as a delivery driver during lockdown?

 

[Incywincy]

Still grunkering on here, yes incy you're very welcome to
I used one of my other pieces of photoshop art as my own

I am crying. Thank you!!!!

Love yours too! And, I forget who it is, but the angry kid with the black eye

 

[Fairy dust munch]

View attachment 256294View attachment 256295
And an apology of sorts to the Inquisitive Brexiteer Squiggle.View attachment 256298

Oh I wish there was a fcuck off button!!

 

[Scarletfever]

Her publisher and agent and god knows who else from her professional life follow her on twitter.

I am wondering if the asda smart price shop is some sort of subliminal messaging to them that the next book will be the equivalent of smart price sausages and blended instant mash.

I am just getting cheap yellow paper, typos, and "three books for a pound" bargain bin vibes.

 

[kachoochoo]

Can you imagine Jack's recipe for sausage, mash, peas and gravy?

INGREDIENTS
6 x sausages (3p each)
Asda essential cola (17p) - to marinade the sausages
1 tin of sweetcorn INC. ephemera
Instant potato mash
POBP
1 tin spaghetti hoops (rinsed) mixed with 1 tin of marrowfat peas
red lentils
Gravy granules
1 kilo lard
Handful of kale
1 tin Tesco finest sardines
1 5 day old bag of lettuce
1 cup cold tea
3 tablespoons tomato puree mixed with 500ml stock & some tiny bits of carrot

EQUIPMENT
Bullet blender
Slow cooker
Mandolin
Sieve
Chainsaw
Le Creuset casserole dish
Sunglasses
Potato ricer
Air Fryer (aff link)

 

[Scarletfever]

Her dinner is up on fb.

The mash looks like a white cow pat.

 

[JoyceDivision]

Counsel for Leeks on Toast here m'lud... I actually had this from Hugh F-W the other day as I had a shed load of leeks to use from veg box delivery. Same ingredients as Jack's (plus cream) but I suspect compiled in a completely different manner..
https://www.rivercottage.net/recipes/leek-and-cheese-toastie

I made this and it is*chef kiss*

 

[Droosie123]

I would just like to be 100% clear that I am not saying she hasn't paid her tax bill - I do not want the Israeli lawyer onto me! I am sure it was paid in full during the 2019/20 business year and hopefully all the tax due for that year, has been put aside nicely in the business bank account. We shall see at some point in the next few months...

Basically then if she has that tax bill and has paid it then she isn't down on her uppers in any way. Patreon etc.....and she says she pays two thirds of her income in rent.
That I don't believe ...4k in rent isn't believable. I do think she's paying up to 2k a month though. A bungalow in Thorpe Bay isn't going to be cheap to rent.

Ironically she could rent a large two bed flat for well under a grand but she'd have to move a couple of miles and I do get that she might not want to do this at the moment. It's likely her son is now in Y6 though so no reason she couldn't make a move next year to something cheaper.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She’s mentioned this consultancy work a couple of times, but not nearly as much as I’d have expected if it was a legit role

2019:

View attachment 255723

2020:

View attachment 255724

What snack is she talking about in the 2019 excerpt?
ETA never mind I found it https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2019/03/18/spicy-snack-peas-recipe/
Further ETA - very inventive, Jack https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/fried-chickpeas

 

[Malacandra]

What snack is she talking about in the 2019 excerpt?
ETA never mind I found it https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2019/03/18/spicy-snack-peas-recipe/
Further ETA - very inventive, Jack https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/fried-chickpeas

EXCUSE ME! I think that you will find that I invented these 30 years ago but flavoured with curry spices for drinkies nibbles.

Ah shit I know it’s bad form to mock her fans but.....View attachment 255734

Jesus wept

 

[BettyBetty]

Thank you @Pocahontas - I live for these summaries! These threads move so fast! On my lunch break, will be back later to grunka my way through the last thread and this!