Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[Captainmouse]

Where the fuck is the eye roll icon when you need it?

I’d leg it too, tbf

Maybe the mice hired him

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

As long as she doesn't photograph herself cupping a bowl of any of that shite.
I find her hands incredibly upsetting.
They look like they've had a 'previous owner' who wasn't particularly careful with them.

*whispers* they look like rough man hands. Working class hands in fact. I've been wondering if the testosterone she bought online and took willy nilly have had this effect. Or have her hands always been like this? They seem disproportionate to her otherwise diminutive frame.

 

[Pocahontas]

Me an’all except ‘proper’ ‘Kawasaki’ and ‘rollercoaster’

Oh my god
Are you Cheryl? I knew it.

 

[Captainmouse]

Who is voting for tomorrow’s dinner?

I’m voting for GO BUY SOME PROPER FOOD, you can afford it!


Practice for when they pull all her teeth.

Poor boy give the grotty sausages a rest!

 

[Uberrima fides]

But I've even made a lovely collage just like Jack! View attachment 251465

The way those sausages are placed, it looks like someone is sticking up a V-sign at you. Intentional, Jack???

 

[Dogmuck]

Fuck me!
If you circumcise a sausage does it make it kosher?

That bloody bastard ain’t seeing its tickle tackle again

 

[Uberrima fides]

As if Katie Piper hasn’t already been through enough

Katie Piper is probably the only person who is brave enough to eat a Jack Monroe recipe.

 

[Lanie]

Christ, i've just read the recipe for moonshine mash.

That claggy wallpaper paste would have anyone backed up for days.

And why does she write about herself as if she is a food critic reviewing her own recipes? It's stomach churning!

"Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me. This version takes the idea even further into the depths of culinary depravity"

Which inspires this:

Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity

She could have used her mother's cultural form of moonshine made from potatoes called poteen.

 

[kachoochoo]

the stew is on the blog now. somewhere amongst the ads.

the beans were *not* rinsed!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Feeling a bit boaky at the thought of those pallid, barely meat sausages being used in a bolognese. Just make a tomato pasta bake, for the love of God.

Where would be the Maverick in that?! Jack’s now BUSY meal prepping on behalf of the nation.

Now fuck off

 

[Walkdengirl]

Why the fuck is she even mentioning the little girl and her age. If I was that child’s mum she would be getting a cease and desist letter ASAP. Like literally do not ever ever ever fucking ever talk about my kid you toxic cunt. Sorry, I’ve gone all Lock Stock Vinnie Jones. I have a 100% success rate of people not talking about my kids on Twitter

I do wonder if some of her ‘I’m fake poor’ shit when her son was about one... was a narcissistic dig at the dad and his new baby/wife? Can you imagine her as your partners ex? He’d be like “My ex is a psycho” yeah course she is mate, we’ve all heard that before, oh wait....

I have missed where she talks about his sibling, that's naughty to be doing that

 

[MrsOgre]

Has she been to the dentist yet?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Was it not only last week* that you were telling us that your son is your infallible alarm clock? When he comes into your bedroom every morning for a cuddle to start the day?

I’m not against bacon rolls, or in fact cuddles. But I’m against your nonsense.

*I know, I know - this is NOW

That is a real skill, to make absolutely ANYTHING look inedible

 

[Cookiecookie]

Is probably why she's had so many jobs. Can you imagine her response to a customer complaint? Or a manager telling her to do a task?
If she wasn't sacked for her rudeness she will have stormed out in a tantrum

Or burst out crying when she encountered a full on psycho 'the customer is ALWAYS right' person who lives to make retail workers lives hell.

 

[Mustard]

Actually she looks very different all the time. I’m sure that’s not good for TV. You need to be identifiable.

yes, that’s what I meant. Different in each photo and also so different from the beginning of this year up to now, including the wig wearing.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Hehehehehehe. She says that SB may be “developing an enthusiasm for cookery”.

Slow your roll, Jackie; isn’t that Buddy Oliver’s “niche”.

A wise decision. Unless he wants to live of JMs offerings, he's better off learning to cook for himself!

 

[blurstoftimes]

On her FB she's describing the puke inducing tuna/courgette thingy.

She has actually written 'I fingered half a leek'

The mind boggles....

there’s a new recipe? Oh send me the screenshot pleaseee!

I’ve got a nice big pot of bolognese that’s being simmering on the hob since 3pm and I want to hug it tightly now

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Did we ever find out the allegedly sinister family protection reasons for the cartoon filter? According to her 14th September FB post she was going to talk properly about them “later”?

No.

 

[Bugger13]

She is NOT A CHEF!

Oh yes, my mistake
What exactly is she writing books for? All anyone needs is a pamphlet saying ‘look at proper recipes from chefs &/or cooks who’ve tested theirs and feel free to experiment a bit’.
Given Brenda’s experience, Jack could justify being paid to NOT publish any recipes more than she could the other way around.

 

[SoulRebel]

Perhaps she's looking for a job as paint chart colour decider? It's that white going to be called white or whiter than white?

Whiter than mayo, perchance?