Jack Monroe #74 The 19th most important gay in 2014

[ChocolateMuffin]

[https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-74-the-19th-most-important-gay-in-2014.9483/post-2415930]

Sorry if this has been mentioned already. Louisa retweeted this or certainly posted something mink related yesterday. So she's well aware JM has been active all along- potentially dropping hints for the likes of us?

Since been deleted

 

[Dogmuck]

Can someone explain this to me?

Jack is alerting her twerps to the fact this account exists which is incessantly bullying her and she has an active case against them. But this account hasn’t tweeted anything at Jack directly or engaged with her - and was only set up this month.

So how can Jack be SO sure that she’s calling out a parody account as a bully and saying she has an active case (Jimmy Djokovic gif here) against this person when there is no evidence of any bullying or harassment?

It’s almost like.....she knows who owns the account? My money is on it being her for yet more attention. I’d love to alert people like Emma Kenny to Jack and Tattle and see what she would make of it all, she’s researched and spoke to some of the worlds worst sociopaths and narcissists and it would be truly fascinating to hear her opinions on Jack.

Where has she said she has an active case against them on her Twitter? Can someone post shots please

 

[Malacandra]

Oh my god, what a weirdo. Listen to her cosplaying being poor, imagining that ‘not having a pony’ is some sort of exceptional denial specific to her, and a genuine touchstone of a so-called deprived upbringing. She’s so lost up her own arse, and the lies she spins, she’s completely lost touch of reality. And this is just a personal opinion but she lies with her eyes.

6:54 "It's sort of like having a dog that answers back". Flippantly said, but oh I do hope that in reality she has respected the gravity of bringing a child into the world and trying your hardest to teach them, love them, care for them, show them what it is to be a decent and good person, and never ever stopping wanting them to be the happiest people ever.

7:50 Soon after this she talks about the "military" style household that she grew up in and that made me sad.

 

[Chip1984]

I'm confused? Who is Ruby Monrose?

 

[Tabitha D]

I hope her poor kid doesn’t read her Twitter. Best he doesn’t know what’s going to be in that sausage casserole (while his mum sticks to sardines on toast).

 

[Uberrima fides]

There's more. Read bottom to top again:

View attachment 246740

Those tweets don't entirely make sense and read like the deranged ramblings of someone who is not far from being admitted to a psychiatric facility, or alternatively, needing to stop using Twitter.

 

[Lanie]

I think I missed it but...she went to Asda TWICE for two lots of shite! You don’t need to eat that sort of shit if you’re struggling, more proof that she has no idea about feeding you and your one child home cooked decent food on a budget. My kids didn’t touch fizzy pop until they could drink it with vodka, most kids these days drink water or diluting juice, fizzy shite cola is gonna be great for his teeth

Both my kids hate fizzy drinks, not that they have been given it often. They have had a sip of mine when we have been out for meals and stuff. They like water, juice and milk.

 

[Blurp]

I think there was a mention that Mercy had underlying health problems but obviously that is no longer in the media due to investigation and possible Fiscal report. The child's father has said that he saw them at the flat on the Tuesday before her death and raised the alarm when he returned to visit on the Saturday. It may be more complicated as malnutrition would have made any other conditions worse.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Congratulations to @blurstoftimes for the thread title! A colossal 133 reactions It really IS the blurst of times. Again, your name shall be known to the end of eternity.

Special mention to @colouredlines for Jack Monroe: She Left


Recap of thread #73

1. I’m going to try to be brief for the Brief. Our one, not Jack’s
2. Has Jack Fixed It For You? If so, now’s your chance to write a letter to tell her just how much you love her, and why. And what for. And since when. And who do you love her less than. Literally just send all that shit to her agent’s assistant, who really is dying for the unpaid but worthy job of opening Jack’s fan mail #freenatalia
3. Shit’s gone down in Southend. Some mucky bastard had the literal cheek to put a For Sale sign outside her house. To experience the wild kaleidoscopic ride of those few hours outside an unassuming house on a quiet suburban street, see @kachoochoo ’s epic post here . Bitcoin-a-plenty for you, dear frau, and you have Vlad’s grudging respect until Monday.
4. To cut a long story short, an axe came into play, she howled ‘Heeeeeerrrre’s Jackie’ and took out the For Sale sign. Or, did she.
5. She joked about crowdfunding a house again, a ‘slightly too-small house’ that she could call her very own. She’s done the maths though, and she needs to sell a hell of a lot more books, so link in the bio, folks!
6. Only it’s not, because She Left. Again.
7. No Twitter, no Instagram. Gone up in a cloud of ephemera.
8. But, then she came back, for about five minutes.
9. But, then She Left!
10. <play: Twilight Zone theme tune> <play: The Clash, Should I stay or should I go>

As always, please add any recap points that I have missed.

Spoiler: Jack for Dummies

For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’

One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, and bullying ninnies **

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

Also:

• She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
• She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
• Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
• Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
• Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
• She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
• During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
• The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.

Best recap ever!!!!

 

[Alansbigplate]

Emma Kenny

Pretty sure she’s quite problematic too, think it was around March when CF died? Some stuff on her thread on tattle

 

[Malacandra]

At the risk of derailing the discussion, I just came across this video from 5 years ago of JM making a lasagne that looked so much more palatable than her recent efforts. Her tip for making bechamel with oil rather than butter was worth testing. She DID start her onion in a cold pan, and could have browned the mince a bit more before adding the sauce (top tip - dry fry mince, making sure you get lots of lovely crunchy bits before adding to a recipe) but the end product was much more appealing than the value lasagne. NB no horse's spunk was involved in the making of this film.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Also I’m not 100% in fact I’m zero % sure on Saafend’s supermarket choices but I personally find Asda quite expensive.

 

[Tabitha D]

Have you seen, Matt got slightly salty with Cat Deely on Saturday kitchen today?

"I don't know what I'm doing here to be honest".

I didn’t see that bit, but she was incredibly annoying - I had to turn the sound down cos her yapping was doing my head in.

 

[Scarletfever]

I think so as well. She is now worried she will be triangulated again.

The only problem is the account wouldn't have shown up if she searched her name.

It didn't when I tried when the "fake" account was still up.

 

[Mustard]

When did she do that?

In that interview with Gi, the McBusted wife. Happy Mum, Happy Baby.

 

[Captainmouse]

Ah what a shame she was busted. She was obviously geared up to a covid chaos and righteous rant about testing .

Trying to keep up with vonny no doubt

BREAKING NEWS!!!

she's made a slightly-overdone toastie

View attachment 248709

even mackie can’t kybosh a toastie, or turn it into grey slop

 

[Malacandra]

I've been awol due to severe jaw pain, it went from being ouchy mouth/gums to now waiting for a hospital referral and praying there won't be another lockdown.
Forgot to add I should add some glitter to aforementioned jaw and take a selfie for you disgusting lot

Spoiler: Bpd chat

putting this in a spoiler so it doesn't invade the thread too much. Fight this as much as you can, research as much as you can especially as bpd can be misdiagnosed as complex ptsd. I have previously mentioned my stalker here, well I recently found out she went as far as to contact the local mh team many years ago and told them I was a violent criminal. I've no idea why they didn't check this and why data protection wasn't in place at the time but the psychiatrist later diagnosed me as bpd based on these lies. Despite me doing a police sar to prove I am not a criminal, the mh team are firmly sticking to the diagnosis and refuse to acknowledge that they were wrong. The stress has made me ill and thanks to the bpd diagnosis, anytime I seek medical treatment I'm accused of attention seeking, it's the dentist who has made the hospital referral and is giving me treatment. I'm also accused of being impulsive which is hilarious when it took me months to decide to buy a vax carpet cleaner amongst other things. There was no reason at all for me to be diagnosed and one of the psychiatrists involved has recently been struck off for having a relationship with a patient. I am beyond caring if the stalker finds me now after giving away so much information but the bpd/eupd diagnosis needs to be dropped. It's a modern day witch hunt. Jack doesn't have it, she is bordering on psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies but we can't armchair diagnose-unlike her with her own diagnoses! I've had to fight for months to have the criminal accusations removed from my medical records and still fighting, not even sure why they were there even if I was a criminal but just shows the levels that psychiatrists will go to.

That is horrific. Are there any fraus who can advise?

 

[Malacandra]

Congratulations to @blurstoftimes for the thread title! A colossal 133 reactions It really IS the blurst of times. Again, your name shall be known to the end of eternity.

Special mention to @colouredlines for Jack Monroe: She Left


Recap of thread #73

1. I’m going to try to be brief for the Brief. Our one, not Jack’s
2. Has Jack Fixed It For You? If so, now’s your chance to write a letter to tell her just how much you love her, and why. And what for. And since when. And who do you love her less than. Literally just send all that shit to her agent’s assistant, who really is dying for the unpaid but worthy job of opening Jack’s fan mail #freenatalia
3. Shit’s gone down in Southend. Some mucky bastard had the literal cheek to put a For Sale sign outside her house. To experience the wild kaleidoscopic ride of those few hours outside an unassuming house on a quiet suburban street, see @kachoochoo ’s epic post here . Bitcoin-a-plenty for you, dear frau, and you have Vlad’s grudging respect until Monday.
4. To cut a long story short, an axe came into play, she howled ‘Heeeeeerrrre’s Jackie’ and took out the For Sale sign. Or, did she.
5. She joked about crowdfunding a house again, a ‘slightly too-small house’ that she could call her very own. She’s done the maths though, and she needs to sell a hell of a lot more books, so link in the bio, folks!
6. Only it’s not, because She Left. Again.
7. No Twitter, no Instagram. Gone up in a cloud of ephemera.
8. But, then she came back, for about five minutes.
9. But, then She Left!
10. <play: Twilight Zone theme tune> <play: The Clash, Should I stay or should I go>

As always, please add any recap points that I have missed.

Spoiler: Jack for Dummies

For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’

One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, and bullying ninnies **

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

Also:

• She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
• She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
• Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
• Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
• Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
• She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
• During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
• The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.

I've started watching the new Twilight Zone. Watching ... in hope - but this is not a Bobby Dallas dream - this could really be happening, in a town like yours ...

 

[Emmapism]

Me!!!! I’ve read it, loved it @Emmapism

Spoiler: Adam's Book

The ending where he wrote the letter to his Dad after he died?

Floods of tears on the train. I wanted to reach into the book and hug him!

 

[Blurp]

Jack you’re tweeting at 4pm on a Sunday. If your Asda is like my Asda then it closes at 4pm. So either:

a) This is an old picture used to try and create drama or
b) It’s right on closing time, shelves haven’t been restocked all day and they’ll be doing it tonight

Get a fucking grip you idiot.

Really?! I'm just off to Aldi and Lidl to get dog and cat food (fussy buggers) and may have to drop in to Asda for Bonios. I know B&Q and B&M close at 6 on Sundays but the others will be open till 8PM if not 10pm as normal.