Jack Monroe #620 Terrible

[griftalo]

I hope this is acceptable. If not, other threads exist.
Jack is still largely absent/in hiding on the internet. We persist in entertaining ourselves.

 

[KebabGirl]

560 days?! Wow. Is that a record? Will we send a book token?

Deffo the record. Last action was Jan 1st 2025 when she bragged on BlueSky that she'd raised SB so well.

We used to measure in hours! A week (168 hrs) was a mean feat back in the day.

At least it was something useful for a change and not a link to three tin tender or shit yourself smoothie.

 

[drmortimer]

Like shonky recipes and think pieces on former New Zealand prime ministers but only after the school run...

I've died of hunger twice waiting for the jam recipe (which presumably was: buy some jam, dilute it, then add some more jam)

 

[StatusWoe]

Poor Count Dracula looks like he's got smallpox.

Vlad the Impaler living up to his name, I see. Someone please confiscate his chopsticks; I hate to think what he'd do if he ever got his hands on a Pumble.

Speaking of pumble, did Jack ever explain how she got it to rise so much?

The normal dessert looks like this:

The guest version looks like this

That thing hasn't been cooked. It's been summoned. Wtf did she do to it? I'm still waiting for an explanation.

P.S. I copy-pasted that second image about 5 times because it wasn't working, then they all started loading at once and I was hit with multiple pumbles. Even in cyberspace they're an invasive species.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Don't forget her "secret" Reddit persona that posted a not-very-secret selfie!

 

[MavisBeacon]

I sincerely hope that this new trend for exposing liars and grifters means that guest keeps her head down out of the public eye forever. Too many people know the truth now - to the point that she's a byword for hilarious lying and shit cooking - so if she tries to come back with anything other than a full mea culpa self-exposé about all her lies and nonsense then she'd get shot down in an instant. That and the complete lack of talent.



PS close your patreon you lying grifter.

 

[Hollaaa]

I wonder if he'll be checking the Asdas for cheap rice, and teaching any povs he encounters how to rinse hoops.

 

[Yel]

Wondering if we will see an opinion piece from guest along the lines of "I too know what it's like to be persecuted for my work."

I do always want to see some self awareness and a redeption arc for these people.

Jack Monroe didn't get to where she was all on her own. The BBC, Guardian, ITV all enabled her and social media rewarded her every time she upped her stories to do well in the algorithms. The lies are like a boiling frog. For their own sake they should have been called out years before it escalated.

 

[MooBelle]

What was the story behind her Jack Eye?

Did she get on the wrong side of Ru Paul?

She got shit faced and smacked her face on the bathroom sink. Although she said it was because she was lifting weights in the bathroom and tripped over them.
She wailed and whinged on Twitter and all the FM fawned all over her, which she lapped up. As the attention escalated she managed to elevenerife it to the worst head injury ever and actually took herself to A&E. This was at the height of the pandemic and hospital staff were begging people to stay home unless it was a near death situation.
Anyone going to hospital at that time had their temperature taken and written on a scrap of paper, which Jack proudly photographed and posted on SM. Alongside other photos of her wasting NHS time she told her story through these photos like she was in some sort of high dependency unit. In reality she sat in a waiting room for hours and was sent home with a leaflet about concussion.
The FMs were feeding her Narc high by kissing her arse and telling her how brave she was. She was obviously hoping for Louisa to cycle as fast as possible to the hospital and beg for reconciliation but it never happened. The shiny black eye was over the next week or so. She did have a very small mark but decided colouring her face in was necessary to get more attention. There was no swelling and she squinted to fake the injury. What was hilarious was she also squinted with the completely unhurt and bruise free eye.
I miss those days of chaos...

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Ah, Slopbot.
I paid him a visit for old times sake to ask an important question...

 

[Pavlova]

She emerges

View attachment 4056764

Still lurking, still probably socking on Twitter /X, lurking like a particularly toxic submarine.
Still a shitcunt.

 

[drmortimer]

Of all the many many chats about celebrity guest chef Dr Dr Jack Monroe, it’s toothpaste we’ve all been inspired to actually put in our mouths.

 

[VielleFemme]

Ahhh I knew the Arday story would be here. It's uncannily similar to Jack in so many ways. Looking forward to catching up on all your thoughts now.

Edit: I see actually not much has been posted. My other half and I have been fascinated to watch it unfold.

The plagiarism is horrendous and inexcusable, but lots of the other stories are truly Jackworthy.

This one, for example:

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I had a very whimsical encounter with her in the 90s, she was possibly half cut/high as balls and going around a supermarket revolving door shouting 'wheeeeee!'
Maybe she's the new Eva Green/Ruby Rose/Keira Knightley.
Edit: /Natalie Portman. Have I missed anyone else?

Lucy Honeychurch Bellatrix Lestrange.

No seriously

 

[MancBee]

The Guardian has a piece today about what to do with the leftover oil from tins of fish

My idea for what to do with leftover oil from tins of fish can not be improved on.
It's 100% the best thing to do with it.


Soak it up with kitchen roll (or newspaper, or magazine, all paper is interchangeable) and chuck it in the bin.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Ashes to ashes, slop to sloppy.

Stay away from the seeds of the poppy.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

My fave pic was a sunlight field with her in a gauze skirt a la Lady Di (why you cry? IYKYK) looking into the sun holding her granny shopping trolley, like some Victorian explorer about to set off on an epic expedition, rather than a 15 minute wander to Asda...

@Marmalade Atkins elevated it. #ART

 

[drmortimer]

The Shan’t, The Myth, The Legend.

 

[Flivver]

Poor Andy looks like he's just been told about Three Tin Tender...

In her heyday she would have given the impression that she was involved in some way, ‘behind the the scenes’ of course .

 

[lilykestrel]

She emerges