Jack Monroe #620 Terrible

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I'm on it, Hotes. Haven't set foot up town for a fortnight.

I

Spoiler: Fringe fecker

expect I've mentioned my most hateful Fringe experience...

I was in Lidl on the Bridges...which is peak Fringe area...and there was a very tall, blonde good looking woman at the head of the queue, buying champagne. (think Amandaland)

She was yelling into her phone..."Darling!!! You'll never guess where I am!!!! LIDL!!!! i know!!! ME!!!"

The...older.... Edinburgh lady in front of me turned round and rolled her eyes, and the twat lady said into her phone:...."Better go sweetie, looks like I'm annoying the LOCALS".

And that is why I avoid the fringe

Spoiler: IMO

This is how people end up getting st4bbed.

"Not annoying us - amusing us. `if you knew what a twat you sound . . . " Sadly, we only think of these retorts online or at 2 o'clock in the morning.

 

[drmortimer]

I mean hers is all about feathering her own nest. He's at least tried to talk about wealth inequality for many. Albeit in a cackhanded 6th form break way.

"yeah like so being poor is bad, so the rich people should, just, umm, give us some if you know what i mean?"

 

[MooBelle]

In those poor fuckers dreams the attention-seeking narc nightmare stays in her work bed nest.View attachment 4118204View attachment 4118203View attachment 4118202

Spoiler: More Office Jack. WARNED.

View attachment 4118208View attachment 4118206View attachment 4118209View attachment 4118210View attachment 4118231View attachment 4118228View attachment 4118216View attachment 4118211View attachment 4118212View attachment 4118213View attachment 4118215View attachment 4118214View attachment 4118217View attachment 4118232View attachment 4118222View attachment 4118219View attachment 4118220

Oh fuck of was your first 'concert' £2.50 a ticket. It wasn't even that price in the 90s you absolute melt.

*oh and whoever it was who said she had 'Rosie and Jim legs' in those grey trousers was spot on.

 

[Carefree]

Do you think that British politeness is somewhat at fault here?


He was also phenomenally talented (although I’m not sure if he ever received a book token)

Maybe a book token would have given him the sense to not show up at the Raoul Moat horror show.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Am i misremembering but did Guest have a quite a few socks with animals in their names ?

 

[Captainmouse]

So this is where guests life changing hack came from:

and @rickedwards1 - who taught me you could put a Pringles lid on a gu pot."

 

[Valiofthedolls]

According to Jack’s hobbit, looks like the reorg of her council’s on hold. Note the words and language within are not his own.

Cos his words and language were it’s going to be brilliant and save a load of money.

 

[For the truth]

But were any of them late?

View attachment 4118645

Is that an actual picture of her just not turning up on time to speak at something? How did she get away with it for so long

 

[OriginalAntiInfluencer]

Has she just vanished into thin air? Not seen her anywhere in years.

 

[MavisBeacon]

BOUUULEVAAAAAARD!

Crack those poo balls!

 

[Carefree]

TMM is currently yomping across Europe with a goat several pounds of butter, flour, crumpets,cheese etc in her backpack 4 suitcases

Difference being she isn’t lying ,she only bulk buys things she knows she’s actually going to eat and can actually cook ( when she’s not making snickerdoodle salads )

I sent the cheese haul one to my sister and she was rather perplexed. But maybe if we all had several deep freezers, we might do the same. Would have been great during the first lockdown 🥲

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

Her memoir’s being published next month!

Ah sorry, my mistake. It’s not. Yesterday my Twitter feed was full of someone I’d never heard of before-Jason Arday-and I read this excerpt over breakfast. They are the cheeks of the same arse.

Spoiler: Link to his publisher

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Great-and-Unfortunate-Things/Jason-Arday/9781668085578

 

[MooBelle]

Are you allowed to screenshot as I don’t have mumsnet?!

No, we do not cross the streams with the net of the mums!!!
You don't need an account. Just go on the website and type in her name in the search bit x

 

[LanyardedHeretic]

I expect she rinsed the white off and repurposed it for her sleeve length (warn't long enough)

 

[Griftygardener]

I can't even find that on a map

I think it's near Shoebury

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

No, no, that's where one finds Cotswold pieces and Vivienne Westwood trousers, ninny

And the occasional original Tracy Emin . . .

 

[Captainmouse]

Sadly, yes.
But then she thinks she doesn't have to wash leggings after wearing them for a couple of days so

She not keen on laundry either her bed clothes linger far too long

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

And yet she was unable to find a lasting media career in a puddle.

She did but she fumbled it.

 

[Carefree]

Jack's a bit before the rise of AI, isn't she? Shame. Can you imagine the absolute hilarity and gems to be had from her AI drivel?

Her visual descriptions were bad enough. Let's not even guess what horrors we've been deprived of.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Shared by our own marms and amazingly it’s still up on their instagram (meant to link to the post rather than the insta but it‘s on the thread called Moana Fleecer)

I’ve screen recorded it in case they notice and take it down but it’s just as fascinatingly revolting as it was on first watching.

That erectile nasal tissue is pretty impressive!

She really knows how to wow the crowd, doesn't she?