Jack Monroe #601 Replican't

[BeardyBap]

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Mother in law hung up on Prince Lumpy because he said small instead of wee. She also went mental when he said sandwich instead of piece.

I remember coming back to NI from England 30 years ago and ONCE saying that something dropped out-of-doors was on “the floor” rather than “the ground” and I am still mortified every time I think about it
Even English people resident here using the local vernacular go down like chewing tinfoil with a mouthful of fillings let alone some Essex Estuary nob co-opting it because her ma lived here 50 years ago

 

[StatusWoe]

Internet Dating Jack is the worst Jack, in every era. As well as the 2013 version, there’s this gourmand soul singer one
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And this Hiking Gym Rat.
View attachment 3347520View attachment 3347521

Turns out that in her subconscious she’s known how bleeping appalling she is all along tho. What a horror combination. Worse even than Three Tin Tender.
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I'd like to add that ''less than a kilometre away'' is a frightening thing to read. It feels like she's approaching.
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Is that a J initial pendant that Leggy is wearing around her neck? I wonder if she had it remade into something else after guest LEFT. Maybe a teeny ladle to reflect her love of cookery.

Or maybe just swapped it for a nice carabiner?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'd put money on the fact that even though Jack bought them, Leggy paid for them.

See also the matching mugs for her and PoPo fiancée “the elusive Mrs Jack” with which she announced her (two month long) engagement.

Jack took hers with her to Leggy’s cos there’s a pic of it hanging up there- AND apparently also bought a matching one for Allegra

The I Allegra mug (which you’d have to imagine had an I barely tolerate this skinwalking nightmare these days, what the duck have I done? Jack counterpart),

and of course…

Spoiler

don’t bother to

She’s grim.

 

[StatusWoe]

FFS she’s such an effing narc! Daddy was moved to commence the making of his world famous powdered box trifle only upon the earth shatteringly world changingly momentous occasion of her birth.
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Spoiler: 🙄

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Watch out, fraus. I know a haunted trifle when I see one. I wonder how long the ghost's been stuck.

 

[YerDa]

I refuse to google lesbian carabiner

 

[Seaford Haggington]

See also the matching mugs for her and PoPo fiancée “the elusive Mrs Jack” with which she announced her (two month long) engagement. View attachment 3348301View attachment 3348302
Jack took hers with her to Leggy’s cos there’s a pic of it hanging up there- AND apparently also bought a matching one for Allegra
View attachment 3348318The I Allegra mug (which you’d have to imagine had an I barely tolerate this skinwalking nightmare these days, what the duck have I done? Jack counterpart),
View attachment 3348305and of course…View attachment 3348308

Spoiler

View attachment 3348309don’t bother to
View attachment 3348310

She’s grim.

The bad omen is her. But also bringing along your "engagement cup" from a previous failed relationship is also a bad omen.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

I wonder if any of her previous partners wake up at night in a cold sweat, remembering how close they came to legally tying themselves to Guest.

 

[Limey]

The bad omen is her. But also bringing along your "engagement cup" from a previous failed relationship is also a bad omen.

I saw Haunted Engagement Mug at Glastonbury in '96.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I wonder if any of her previous partners wake up at night in a cold sweat, remembering how close they came to legally tying themselves to Guest.

I don't doubt it. I still have dreams where I've ended up back with my abusive ex instead of the lovely Mr Beacon and I always wake up feeling very unsettled.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

I wonder if any of her previous partners wake up at night in a cold sweat, remembering how close they came to legally tying themselves to Guest.

She’s what the block function on your phone was invented for.

 

[bracrumbs]

My dad died LEFT nearly two years ago and when I dream of him, I never have lovely dreams, it’s always that we were wrong, he didn’t die, he’s just still very unwell. And I have to negotiate being happy he’s there but also knowing he’s going to die.

Anyway, I imagine Leggy and LJC dream like this. Jack appears, “what do you mean we spilt up? We’re still together darling!” And they spend the whole dream trying to let her know they’ve spilt up.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Of course she’s going to want a scrabble mug so that she’s more that likely to have the high score.

I bet she discounted anyone called Quinn or Zoe out of SPITE

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I wonder if any of her previous partners wake up at night in a cold sweat, screaming, shuddering, sobbing, flailing, inexplicably distraught, thrashing, terrified, inconsolable, have barely slept properly, alone, in over six months remembering how close they came to legally tying themselves to Guest.

Jack thought it was a bit underwritten so have fixed it for you.

I was looking for a picture with a better view of Leggy's and Jack's pendant necklaces, and I came across this:
source: https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyl...passion-for-food-and-each-other-10241189.html )
Even if they were madly in love, surely Leggy would not want to ruin the reputation of her restaurant by putting anything invented by Jack on the menu. "Best seller" must mean that Jack whipped it up on one of Leggy's "take your girlfriend to work" days, and the kitchen staff discreetly binned it and told Jack "it was so popular, there's none left, it just flew out of the kitchen" [ahem].

My favourite bit of that article is the fact that less than a month after publication Leggy’d dumped her nightmare narc idiot plaything and sent her scampering adorably back to Southend

My second favourite part is that the journalist went back to interview Jack twice more, in late 2015 about being trans and in spring 2017 about running for MP, and both times just allowed Jack to be very, very much herself. The idiot will have seen these as favorable puff pieces but they are very much…Jack. So not.

Jack Monroe: 'I will always be on the girls' team'

Austerity food blogger Jack Monroe is taking testosterone and preparing for breast removal surgery — but doesn’t identify as male or female. Rosamund Urwin hears what it means to be beyond gender

www.standard.co.uk

Jack Monroe on why she's adding 'politician' to her CV

Writer and cook Jack Monroe has turned politician, standing as an independent. She talks Labour’s future, the PM’s punk wardrobe and dating with Rosamund Urwin

www.standard.co.uk

 

[rage naan]

Lol

 

[YerDa]

Jack thought it was a bit underwritten so have fixed it for you. View attachment 3348340

My favourite bit of that article is the fact that less than two months after publication Leggy’d dumped her nightmare narc idiot plaything and sent her scampering adorably back to Southend
View attachment 3348335My second favourite part is that the journalist went back to interview Jack twice more, in late 2015 about being trans and in spring 2017 about running for MP, and both times just allowed Jack to be very, very much herself. The idiot will have seen these as favorable puff pieces but they are very much…Jack. So not.

Jack Monroe: 'I will always be on the girls' team'

Austerity food blogger Jack Monroe is taking testosterone and preparing for breast removal surgery — but doesn’t identify as male or female. Rosamund Urwin hears what it means to be beyond gender

www.standard.co.uk

Apart from the whole being incredibly confused and clearly a load of made up balls, this was utterly ridiculous. You can go to the gym to pass for a young man on public transport as long as your boobs aren’t obvious? She’s, as ever, making up rubbish on the fly. If you speak to trans men, this is most definitely not their experience (though I doubt, even if she has spoken to any, she’s listened).

 

[HotesTilaire]

Passing for a half-price bus fare coz you look like a lad is what many lesbians had been doing for decades maybe it’s the lippy, dress and eyeshadow that was giving it away, eh Jack?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Also, is it me or is this the worst photoshop ever? Where’s half her a gone?
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I suspect that’s not the only area of this photo which has been, um, tampered with.

January & February 2014:

Spoiler

Young American Nun, 1952 (& young Mary Archer) in the Streets

Meanwhile, over at the Guardian at the very same time:

Spoiler

Photoshopped Enabled Narcissist against The (wonky) Sheets

ETA: I mean, FFS!

It’s a perfect photographic representation of letters to THE NEWSPAPER/Internet Jack v Wibbling Little Mouse Real Life Jack

 

[bracrumbs]

I’m gonna say it… Jack looks pretty in the 50s get-up.

I always think it’s one of those things. For the most part, I think she looks fine (some questionable outfits aside) but she then writes about being the most beautiful Princess whatever did live and your brain goes “nope” and goes for the opposite. Likewise, I’m sure her boobs are just dandy but they’re not that big for someone who writes likes Lola Ferrari was asking for bra recommendations.

The trans era might be her most offensive tbh.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Likewise, I’m sure her boobs are just dandy but they’re not that big for someone who writes likes Lola Ferrari was asking for bra recommendations.

The trans era might be her most offensive tbh.

Yeah, blonde trans Jack absolutely hates those bits of hers

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m gonna say it… Jack looks pretty in the 50s get-up.

I always think it’s one of those things. For the most part, I think she looks fine (some questionable outfits aside) but she then writes about being the most beautiful Princess whatever did live and your brain goes “nope” and goes for the opposite. Likewise, I’m sure her boobs are just dandy but they’re not that big for someone who writes likes Lola Ferrari was asking for bra recommendations.

The trans era might be her most offensive tbh.

That’s what a gang of professional stylists and photographers and big massive lights can do. She’s as natural in them as the sky was when she facetuned it. Urgh I bet she loved busting out her modelling moves, looking down pensively. The “uh hu hu’ Elvis mixing bowl pose makes me feel ill.