Jack Monroe #601 Replican't

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i was here in real time for the poo balls, and from then until now, and until my dying day, the question i take with me is:

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WHO ASKED FOR THIS? WHO was on the internet asking a 'poverty campaigner' to record herself singing a Tom Waits song in the bathroom at a networking event? And WHY?

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Perhaps if the pills are constipating it could explain the laxative qualities of her food. A natural way if you will of getting things moving.
PRUNE SMOOTHIE!

I mean, she said one and done, but then she also said she tests each recipe 3 times:
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Her food always makes a reappearance in one way or another...


me ^^ trying to work out how many times Geoff had steak goulash.
It's like one of those school maths problems: ''if Geoff has steak goulash five days a week, how many steak goulashes will be left after he gets food poisoning and goes to hospital for 4 days?''
 
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Especially the @binkbonk video nasty
View attachment 3346612 Here it is
Don’t forget to whack your volumes up! (Allow Jack to briefly explain). View attachment 3346615View attachment 3346616
The only thing scarier than the pickin balls View attachment 3346618
Every so often google photos memories will pop up with a picture from it and it's such a jumpscare
 
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Just a timeline clarification: DEAD Grandad didn’t die until November 2012, a year after she’d flounced away from the firephone and a year into THE POVERTY.

By the time he died, she’d already sold everything she owned, flounced out of two part time jobs, been told never to darken the door of a third and set up her crappy Bread and Jam craft business (flouncing from the second of the above in a shop to “go self employed” and make sandwiches for the homeless).

He was pretty sick for that whole year of 2012 though (we know because she wrote a bleeping ghastly poem about it), so you can imagine the family were somewhat distracted by that while she was flouncing about as Southend’s Prettiest Pov with her Wedgwood and Royal Doulton crockery sales, weekly Abel & Cole deliveries, harrumphing star letters to THE NEWSPAPER, her COUNCIL-botherings and “downsizings” from £725 a month two bedroom luxury executive flats into £675 a month two bedroom houses.

Strongly doubt they gave (or promised) her a bleeping penny of his estate cos it was only after he died that she “came out as poor” in the national media (December, here and Woman’s Own the following month).

Suspect Jack may have only felt really able to start over-egging THE POV in the national press once the old tyrant was DEAD. Probably exacerbated by a tantrum that she didn’t get what she thought she was due from the estate, done for maximum attention and to SPITE-cause maximum mortification to her family.

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Edit: here’s the link. She’s disgusting.
Dead papu grandad was actually annoyed when she got accidentally poppyseeded and said she was a “stupid girl” or somesuch.

I sometimes wonder if she beatifies him because he was a strong patriarch, and it’s more about impressing Big Chocco than about the two of them being close. She’s doing the narc thing of associating herself and her traits with those of a respected person = they’re the same so you should respect her.

Let’s face it Big Choc probably looked up to him, ergo Jack thinks he’s great.
 
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I loved the Slopalong. A true test of Jack's recipes.

Proof positive that she never, ever made those monstrosities, or if she did, they turned out just the same.

I suppose that explains the "one and done" claim. After all, who would make them a second time?
One of my favourite bits of my time on the jack monroe mit show was the slopalong!

I'll never forget the absolute look of horror that my son gave when he saw that soggy repellent mess that I'd made. He still talks about it.

I'm a really good baker, and if I couldn't get it to work, I doubt anyone else could.
 
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i was here in real time for the poo balls, and from then until now, and until my dying day, the question i take with me is:

View attachment 3346660

WHO ASKED FOR THIS? WHO was on the internet asking a 'poverty campaigner' to record herself singing a Tom Waits song in the bathroom at a networking event? And WHY?

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Regretfully submit my investigation. Cannot assist with the “why” though.
 
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Dead papu grandad was actually annoyed when she got accidentally poppyseeded and said she was a “stupid girl” or somesuch.

I sometimes wonder if she beatifies him because he was a strong patriarch, and it’s more about impressing Big Chocco than about the two of them being close. She’s doing the narc thing of associating herself and her traits with those of a respected person = they’re the same so you should respect her.

Let’s face it Big Choc probably looked up to him, ergo Jack thinks he’s great.
DEAD papa grandad was also a self-made hard-as-nails misogynistic b man, from her accounts, and I'll bet he wasn't impressed with any grandchild of his who just sat on her a and whinged rather than getting a job to buy a slum to rent out Rachman-style and I'll bet he didn't throw massive amounts of cash at her because he knew she would squander it on sideboards waste it, butI think he would have thoroughly approved her grifting.
 
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🤣 FFS. From that same (bull-strewn) piece.

🚨JACK FELL DOWN THE STAIRS, EVERYONE!🚨View attachment 3346508

One long, long humblebrag also featu other greatest hits such as;

My bits (that I HATE), everyone!!! My bits!!!View attachment 3346515MY bits!!!
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Look at meee Daddy! I’m just like you, Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy!!! View attachment 3346517

All My GENEROUS Magic Puddles FRIENDS!View attachment 3346520

EVIL TROLLZ said I was TOO PRETTY!!! 😭 View attachment 3346522View attachment 3346524

My DREADFUL SCHOOLDAYZ! 😭
View attachment 3346535View attachment 3346536

My old lady premature babyHANDZ that make love! View attachment 3346538

and of course, the obligatory …🙄View attachment 3346525
lol what an insufferably tedious bleep totally basic beyoootch.
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Oh how groundbreaking. What trailblazers the pair of them are 🙄. She describes such a mundane thing like it's some fabled Hadjicostas family tradition, passed down through the generations. Nobhead.
 
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I was going to do the spam, stuffing and pear loaf but I couldn't bring myself to waste things I like individually by mincing them into an abomination.
And as Spam is now nearly £4 a tin, nobody will be getting it in their food parcels anyway.
 
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I love/hate this photo because of how smol Jack’s head looks in comparison to Leggy’s. Is this the precursor to the post fellowship serene face nightmarish dead-eyed shrunken head floral boilersuit selfie?

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The narc glee in every single pic of her with Leggy was palpable. She really thought she'd made it.

Lol.
 
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At around the time that £10 poor mum article came out, she was on lesbo social sites, coming up to Soho and hangong out with us - while the dad had the son as she was only a single parent for half of the week - trying to get a girlfriend and being a photographer/model.
The article caused many a carabiner to be snapped in shock let me tell you.
I know you can't share too much because of 📐🍰🍕 but how I wish you could tell us everything. Omg I want to hear the ☕

Ps "sesh* makes me shrivel up like a badly pickled onion. It's like oh no, all by itself, even without the actual "sesh". Brrrr. Like a goose waking over my grave
 
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As jack likes to say irregardless of her mum of the year posts. Sb will have LEFT soon and she will be draping herself on many a sideboard wailing like miss havisham about how the world has done her dirty, when 100% of it is all her fault.
 
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You deserve the accolade.

Hail to thee, and all who cooked slops so that we, the squeamish frauen, didn't have to.
Yeah, well done everyone who gave it a try. I was meant to do the spinach and chickpea one, as espinacas con garbanzos is one of my favourite dishes but I became too anxious the guest recipe would ruin it for me.l, so I bottled it.
 
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