Jack Monroe #570 Delusions of Relevance

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Title by @nothanksbabes, suggested by @MaineCoonMama. You win a month's Netflix subscription so you can watch Baby Reindeer, which has nothing at all to do with guest's latest escapades.

Recap: Guess who's back, back again! Guest is back, tell a friend!

She went away because she was hacked by a stalker. Not just her Patreon but also her website, PayPal, all her social media accounts, and more! She lost everything including thousands of pounds, millions of followers, and her entire career. But she's back, slowly standing up on her calloused feet, unsure what the road ahead looks like. She's threatened more slops; but still no word on the VBI. Maybe it was stolen in the hacking? The team that she was watching over like a mother hen sadly can't help because she no longer has a team of any description, she's all on her own in the Bungamansion with Coopsie and Content Lou (FKA just Content.)

Don't speculate as to who the stalker is, it's not the squig who's already WARNED her not to say anything potentially libellous. She won't divulge the perpetrator's identity because she just wants peace. And just wants to dance. And just wants to cook beans. She's a humble Z-list bean blogger, despite not having done any blogging in at least two years.

Molto (spazio) grazie! Wiki up on pink button.
 
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She’s such an hole. Sees the outpouring of interest and sympathy for Gadd, as well as the internet sleuths all over the real life Baby Reindeer perpetrators, and thinks I’ll have me some of that in the hope of a simultaneous beg and pile on of newly christened ‘stalker’ aka the man who asked for a £10 refund. GHOUL. SKIN WALKER. Get your own ideas Jack you thieving bleep.
 
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Bringing over from the previous thread for anyone who missed this masterpiece. The resemblance is frightening...
C2FAC8ED-6539-449C-B0DA-B538806A1FE9-01.jpeg
 
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I don't remember her ever having a nice neat bob like that, all her hairstyles have been quite a bit more ... distinctive
 
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Fortunately all those ONS folk she was mother-henning will have their own copies and versions to fall back on.
I had to bring this over as I had already typed it out OKAY DON'T @ ME

let's see. A few of them could have also been hacked because TROLLS ARE RELENTLESS and OBSESSED. Then a burglar could have broken into the ONS's shed and stolen the server that had the backup on it. Then the cloud version could have been deleted by the CIA under the orders of Rishi Sunak and the boss of Asda because they're conspiring to hide the fact that the price of toffees has increased by 3p in the past 12 years from the general public in case there is a ( dead man's) riot.



there you go, completed it mate
 
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Incase you missed the last thread: Jack took all that time off Twitter only to leap straight back into the fire with more lies and bullshit than ever before - you really have to laugh 🤡
 
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I don't mean to show off or anything, but MY drawing of Jack is so much better and more realistic ( it's my profile pic).
 
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Maybe our poverty stricken hacked-off victim is back on the ❄. How else would anyone have the bare-faced bravado to leap back into the fray for a repeat performance. It beggars belief. I can only think it’s to tin rattle and get the simps digging in their pockets. I notice no mention of SB thus far?
 
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Prediction: the story she's not yet ready to tell will be a cobbled together facsimile of the monologue Donny gives at the comedy competition.
 
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Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.