Jack Monroe #563 Danniella Guestbrook

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thread title by @Geetbo from suggestion by me. I'm not going to award myself anything because I'm not guest but Geets wins the satisfaction that Danniella is still more relevant than guest will ever be again. RIP Audrey Chawner.

Recap: Several frauen called out guest's past lies over various things including her mental health and substance abuse. We also discovered that guest used to post on the MoneySavingExpert forums where she had a fixation with tinned peaches. We laughed at guest's homemade "crumpets" that she poked holes in with a chopstick. We discussed the infamous Shattenstone article some more, and reminisced about our favourite train chaoi, including:

• When guest's Mediterranean saved her from falling under a train (with @traumatised sideboard's interpretation of what may have happened)
  
  
• When a stranger asked guest to look after their newborn
  
  
• Kicked a man in the shin cuz he sat too close
  
  
• Totes real conversations with her then 5-year-old son about the nature of God and UNICEF statistics
  
  
• WHITE TRASH SHOULDN'T BREED
  
  
• Tile on the train floor
  
  
• Ranted about being locked in on a train, do you want her to stop breathing boot a bleeping door in? And then got reprimanded for swearing
  
  
• When guest had to get off a train to make phone calls and sit on a log in a field so she could get a signal. All real and not "inspired" by similar scenes in The Thick of It

Sloppies winners were announced. Andy Lynes is honourary herr of the year (this one's for you, pal!), our favourite chaos was Grifty Kitchen and best lie of the year was "poppy seeds made me pregnant." Will she resurface for a 2024 Sloppies? We wait to see.

감사(스페이스)유! Wiki on the pink button.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Thank(space)you dear tenderstem @witchofwestbyfleet for the new thread. I have nothing else to offer other than to say now get to duck, the END to you all. Guess guest is still a pov cosplaying grifter taking money for nothing on Patreon whilst also, to name a few, robbing people blind to Sue Lee and flog tit grammatically incorrect tshirts on TMill for the Trussel Trust, how does she keep getting away with this? Do excuse me, I have a ha'penny stuck up my jacksy from posing in a bath tub pretendy naked in the nip

 

[HotesTilaire]

I never felt confident enough to use the “now duck off” at The End of posts.
Anyway, I hope Geets is right and she appears whilst he’s away. Lucky bastard.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Ooh I did love a now duck off or get to to duck back in the day dear Hotey T x those were the days. Xx when I was confessing my lurve for Captain Kirk etc

 

[HotesTilaire]

The Westcrack gang are going to be mighty confused by this thread title

 

[MancBee]

I do hope Andy Lynes is pleased with his award as honorary Herr/Frau. Andy, if you still read here, send us a sign that you accept the award. Perhaps a coded Xtweet.

 

[camotea]

Mithering on the aches/pains/A&E visits:

Spends a day plaiting her own hair - my arms are falling off*
Spends 100 hours tweeting - my shoulder is crumbling**
Does uppers - my teeth are falling off***
Does uppers - I am having a heat attack****

From the very beginning guest reminded me of those school chums who never had a common cold, like the rest of class 2B, they always had a chest infection. I was always dubious at the exaggeration but you can’t prove anything, and bloody hell who cares anyway? But there’s clearly a pathology there, something I don’t know the name of but she’s that type, dialled up by 344.

* send money
** Rattle
*** Rattle rattle!
*** You know the drill

Spoiler: OT

speaking of which I have we been thinking (quietly, to myself) that something is wrong with my lungs/chest… turns out I accidentally bought 12mg vape juice instead of my usual 3mg 🥲

 

[MancBee]

Yep, Andy Lynes knows, it's been brought to his attention. And it was his birthday yesterday...Happy Birthday.


He's pleased.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Yep, Andy Lynes knows, it's been brought to his attention. And it was his birthday yesterday...Happy Birthday.


He's pleased.

Aww, he's lovely and one of the few voices rooted in common sense against the big media conspiracy that is guest. Not one of them will admit their part in her rise to fame and her big grifts (looking at you Guardian). I wonder though, if years, even decades down the line, with a new editor, they might become more introspective and honest about the role they played in propelling guest into her position as poverty princess poster girl. Worse still, that they assisted her in maintaining that role for a decade.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I'm sure there is much wailing and gnashing and radiators ripped off walls in the Bungamansion at this morning's Liverpool FC news

 

[RandomFishOils]

Grunking on last thread, but how come when her grandad and dad own multiple properties, rent them for a profit, and run multiple businesses for a profit, it’s all altruism and being hardworking, but anyone else (including her landlady who inherited her property - just like Le Grande Chocolat himself) is an evil capitalist Tory?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Grunking on last thread, but how come when her grandad and dad own multiple properties, rent them for a profit, and run multiple businesses for a profit, it’s all altruism and being hardworking, but anyone else (including her landlady who inherited her property - just like Le Grande Chocolat himself) is an evil capitalist Tory?

View attachment 2715316

Yes but her grandad was an IMMIGRANT

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Spoiler: Wankee, wanker

I shall make a FORMAL COMPLAINT

I do that too, Daddy!!! Because I’m an ADULT!!!

PS I’ve got a big tree just like yours, Daddy!!! Mine’s about to be chopped down too!!!

I was going to be JUST LIKE YOU, DADDY, and go to WAR!!!

#Awks. And that’s a LEGAL FACT

Daddy loves poppies and makes sure he tells THE NEWSPAPER.

I love poppies too, Daddy!!! Don’t you remember that when I was a young woman I loved poppies in THE NEWSPAPER (and on my well-read political blog), just like you, Daddy!!!

“Now this really gets my Daddy’s goat.” https://web.archive.org/web/20130817111609/http://agirlcalledjack.com/2012/11/06/poppyright/
Daddy loves the flag (as evidenced by many, many pictures on his wide open socials)
I love the flag too, Daddy!!! Back when I was a young woman I said so!!! I love the flag AND the GREAT ST GEORGE!!!

OMG Daddy!!! You hate fascists and Nazis and the Nazi Fascist Rag Daily Mail?!?

I DO TOO, DADDY!!! Look Daddy!!! I say clever things like that too!!!!

It’s a NAZI rag Daddy! Just like you say!!!

Guess what, Daddy MBE?! I’ve got HONOURS too!!!

Not from the Queen, but I still LOVE AND RESPECT HER just like you do, Daddy!!!

You’re right Daddy!!! Even when we don’t POLITICALLY AGREE with them, we must say nice things about DEAD people and thank them for their service!!! Like I did for the Queen, look!!!

Oh and not forgetting Margaret

OMG, YOU love trifle, hillllarrrrrious things and Peaky Blinders, Daddy?!

I LOVE TRIFLE, HILLLARRRRIOUS THINGS AND PEAKY BLINDERS TOO, DADDY!!!

YOU ate cold beans in my fictional fantasist lurid lies about POVERTY, Daddy???!!!

Guess what???!!!!! SO DID I, DADDY!!!

etc etc etc etc Daddy!!! LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE DADDY!!!! (ad infinitum)

 

[Carefree]

Yes but her grandad was an IMMIGRANT

My mum is one and all my grandparents were born outside of the UK. No one bought a house or exploited people down on their luck either so duck off, you silly twunt

Seriously though, her behaviour and belief system is rotten to its core.

 

[Florid Language]

Aww, he's lovely and one of the few voices rooted in common sense against the big media conspiracy that is guest. Not one of them will admit their part in her rise to fame and her big grifts (looking at you Guardian). I wonder though, if years, even decades down the line, with a new editor, they might become more introspective and honest about the role they played in propelling guest into her position as poverty princess poster girl. Worse still, that they assisted her in maintaining that role for a decade.

They'll never admit it but it has been a slow and steady cancellation.
I know that Vali has posted the number of guest articles by year but I can't find it.
Was guest at her peak Graun article count when Rusbridger was in charge?
I'm trying to work out the timeline where guest's article count started to sharply decline. Rusbridger employed a lot of neckbeard pleasing young women including his daughter Bella who used to mod the now defunct YTU. When Viner came in (middle of 2015?) she started to clear out a lot of these young women. I'm guessing that it was for financial reasons as part of her strategy when she pitched for the job but there was a lot of complaining from online readers at the time.
Did Viner have the measure of guest, only giving her the odd 'woe is me' type article that encouraged clicks in later years knowing that her food input was finished?

 

[Lucky Escape]

They'll never admit it but it has been a slow and steady cancellation.
I know that Vali has posted the number of guest articles by year but I can't find it.
Was guest at her peak Graun article count when Rusbridger was in charge?
I'm trying to work out the timeline where guest's article count started to sharply decline. Rusbridger employed a lot of neckbeard pleasing young women including his daughter Bella who used to mod the now defunct YTU. When Viner came in (middle of 2015?) she started to clear out a lot of these young women. I'm guessing that it was for financial reasons as part of her strategy when she pitched for the job but there was a lot of complaining from online readers at the time.
Did Viner have the measure of guest, only giving her the odd 'woe is me' type article that encouraged clicks in later years knowing that her food input was finished?

Yeah, I've wondered about that too.
Viner took over in March 2015, and guest's recipe column ended a few months later:

(from @Valiofthedolls on thread 560)

I've seen it suggested elsewhere that the big change in the Graun's output was the result of (Comment is Free editor) Georgina Henry's death, but that was in early 2014 when Jack was still in her pomp.

I imagine you're right to say that dropping the guest column was more for financial reasons than because Viner saw through her - after all, she published the Daniel Blake abomination, multiple contradictory "I've just stopped being an alcoholic, and it was so easy!" articles, etc.

(And duck, I didn't realise that https://www.theguardian.com/profile/bella-mackie was Rusbridger's daughter! Looks like she uses her mother's maiden name as her pen name, purely in order to disguise the connection with her father. bleeping hell, I love Guardian's dedication to nepotism - they're so clearly ashamed by it, but they keep on doing it all the same. Except Polly Toynbee, who doesn't give a duck... you almost have to admire her for that.)

 

[BeardyBap]

HF Andy doing the Lord's work here last Christmas/New Year.

This has all been remarked on before. But here she was, seemingly setting a train driver's salary as a benchmark. Rather than denigrating the train driver role I think it's an admission that if she really had considered the retail sectors she mentions, she was talking about managerial/ executive positions.

Even if she really was talking about minimum wage jobs, if you consider yourself to be on the clock 24/7 that will gross >90k at this year's minimum wage. Even her claimed 100 hour weeks would get you >54k. She's picked some no doubt fictional "income" figure and divided it by an unrealistic and equally fantastic number of weekly hours to come out with a low hourly rate. Tricksy little bastard.

Or, of course, it was just a lie her brain farted on to Twitter with no thought whatsoever. Therefore who bleeping knows?

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Just coming over from the last thread but that Jamie lookylikey could also pass for Allegra.

Maybe guest also sees the resemblance and her anger at losing the lifestyle she could've had is why she hates Jamie so much.

Disclaimer: I'm crap at recognising faces, so I could be wrong - I think I have a mild case of that visual processing thing

 

[Seaford Haggington]

HF Andy doing the Lord's work here last Christmas/New Year.

This has all been remarked on before. But here she was, seemingly setting a train driver's salary as a benchmark. Rather than denigrating the train driver role I think it's an admission that if she really had considered the retail sectors she mentions, she was talking about managerial/ executive positions.

Even if she really was talking about minimum wage jobs, if you consider yourself to be on the clock 24/7 that will gross >90k at this year's minimum wage. Even her claimed 100 hour weeks would get you >54k. She's picked some no doubt fictional "income" figure and divided it by an unrealistic and equally fantastic number of weekly hours to come out with a low hourly rate. Tricksy little bastard.

Or, of course, it was just a lie her brain farted on to Twitter with no thought whatsoever. Therefore who bleeping knows?

Nothing screams LIES like "I have literally actually..."

 

[Valiofthedolls]

In the comments under this article:
https://web.archive.org/web/20130817111609/http://agirlcalledjack.com/2012/11/06/poppyright/

Spoiler: 🤔

Meanwhile…

Dec 2015-January 2016

Same book

and for my NEXT con book! November 2018

and…

And…

etc etc etc etc.

ETA linky link