Jack Monroe #562 It's a calculator Helen, it's not cocaine

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Been grunking and thinking and here's my 2p's worth as a journalist and a writer. We definitely don't get given emergency contact numbers for interviewees. We get a contact number that's either them or an agent or manager, sometimes both. A manager/agent or a PR person who set up the interview would be the first point of call in the case of a no-show, after the editor who commissioned the piece. The call might be made by the editor, depending on the situation. There's normally an agreed time slot as well. If anyone made all of those calls about a disappearing guest, it was her manager. If Shattenstone had that info, he clearly knows her far better than he's letting on. I think the former is the most likely.

The other thing that's jumped out at me was claiming that she earns about 17p per book sold, and that her publisher gives her £5k advances. These statements can't be simultaneously true. £5k equates to 29,411 copies of a book sold before any royalties are paid at all. That is a lot of books these days and a huge risk for any publisher. From a £22 book, I earn just over a pound from every copy sold, and that's with quite a small publisher.
 
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Surely even Jack’s not moronic enough to ask for her entire face (and body the first time) to be painted the exact colour and consistency of a 1974 pair of thick American Tan Ladder-Resistant Matt Pop Socks.
Oh, I remember those tights so well! They were sold in the "regular" section, with the sheer tights you would wear with a dress. But they were so thick that when I was a dance student (actually taking classes, not larking about in silly poses in a leotard, like guest) we would buy them and cut off the toes and heels, and hem the edges, to make stirrup tights, instead of paying mad amounts of money at the specialty dancewear store. Note to guest: that's actual money-saving, and if this shows up in Grifty Kitchen II my version of Mark mate will be after you.
 
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Oh, I remember those tights so well! They were sold in the "regular" section, with the sheer tights you would wear with a dress. But they were so thick that when I was a dance student (actually taking classes, not larking about in silly poses in a leotard, like guest) we would buy them and cut off the toes and heels, and hem the edges, to make stirrup tights, instead of paying mad amounts of money at the specialty dancewear store. Note to guest: that's actual money-saving, and if this shows up in Grifty Kitchen II my version of Mark mate will be after you.
Spot the difference
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Ah I was going off of him saying they approached via Patreon and she doesn’t read her messages there.

If he contacted her via a method showing he’s a real person (eg Twitter account with real name and link to said company) she’s stupid to have ignored/not read his message. If it’s more murky I can see why perhaps she’d assume it was a troll taking the piss.
I think the elephant in the room here is that she doesn’t have anything to post, consequently all the free labour and postage is a moot point.
She had piles of old “art postcards” we saw them piled upon the dining table which seats 14. If anyone got anything it was “old stock” shithouse onion postcards and the like.
 
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Holy bleeping LJC!!! Was looking for something about royalties and just stumbled across the rest of the thread with our often-posted ss when she starts her big £10.99 grift into her personal PayPal to donate her book to Foodbanks!!! Never seen this before. MIND BLOWN
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ETA: so…as well as the utter tone-deafness of this vile post, just realized something! Does this mean she was grifting into her personal Paypal here to “donate” Cooking on a Bootstrap, the book published in 2018 that she also grifted the £68,761 Kickstarter for? If she’s “been” matching it?! And then just 2 months later started grifting into a personal Gofundme to “donate” her NEXT book?!?!
And here’s an update on MY AGENT STOLE MY MONEY Even more absolutely mindblowing. Hasn’t aged well tho…
May 29 2018
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July 2018

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Much more at the link. Didn’t think it possible to find her any more utterly bleeping repugnant, but turns out…
Am just absolutely sickened and disgusted by what I’ve just read here.
Also,
WHAT.
A.
bleeping.
twit.
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❤to @colouredlines for this source
 
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Just imagine being able to write this

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Your favourite book? Is it the only book you've ever seen?
 
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Just imagine being able to write this

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Your favourite book? Is it the only book you've ever seen?
She’s totally taken the piss out of them yet they’re still going to buy a second version of the same book in August after waiting over two years to receive a disappointing substandard version of the one they paid for back in Dec 2015-Jan 2016?!

That right there’s a great illustration how/why she’s still got all those people chucking money at her on Patreon.
 
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What a bleep

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You didn't spend 15 k on postage! Everyone who bought a book aid for it to be posted to them! Aaaargh
 
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What a bleep

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You didn't spend 15 k on postage! Everyone who bought a book aid for it to be posted to them! Aaaargh
Here she is in September 2018 having the ABSOLUTE bleeping TEMERITY to grift money into her Personal PayPal to “donate” the book she grifted £68,761 to self publish and extra to post it, but ALSO got a publishing deal for (so this is the “proper” published version of Cooking on a Bootstrap, not the pile of tit her Kickstarter backers got). 🤬🤬🤬
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She is bleeping SHAMELESS. And has burned through hundreds of thousands of grifted money she defrauded from people on gak.

Must gall when you see what you spaffed your grifted big forever home fund £££ on every time you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, huh Jack you bleeping vile bleep? ❄ 👃

ETA no WISHLIST earmarking in the second grift for this in post #245 ⬆ in the spoiler, either. Now it’s just a PayPal slush fund.
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What a fcuking scammer.
Live shot of someone who bought the book via PayPal:

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The whole Kickstarter is just embarrassing honestly. I had a little browse and honestly 97% of the comments are "congratulations on the book Jack, we love you, you deserve all the success in the world, you do so much good, just to ask, no pressure but could you possibly check as I sent you £200 and haven't received anything three years later, sorry to bother you, we love you, take your time getting back to us" and she's replying with "your NEGATIVE TROLLING is LITERALLY RUINING my LIFE every time i see your horrible mean spiteful vicious nasty comments, its just me and my CRIPPLING ARTHRITIS doing this ALONE" etc

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Also lol at how she ignores about 98% of comments and then leaps to... threatening legal action when one hits her most prominent trigger point
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the HEINOUS LIBEL??
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Little bonus: imagine contemplating actually travelling from abroad to this non existent party
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Afrauinbthe past shared the email Jack sent to Kickstarter backers - it was all pure manipulation “bad mentals, ouchy shoulder, cold and starving but limping up to the post office with your books” just like the public posts.
 
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while I'm avoiding work I did a little search for patreon - that squigs story is pretty consistent that he was a backer, realised nothing was getting sent, got a refund, offered the help. ymmv of course but it does suggest they tried more than one way of contacting her

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í

Also turns out there was at least one launch party for cooking on a bootstrap... that cost money to go to lol
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Also turns out there was at least one launch party for cooking on a bootstrap... that cost money to go to lolView attachment 2699657View attachment 2699658
Just read about a launch party but it was on 22 Aug for the Bluebird-published version of the book, not the one for the highest paying backers of the self-published one.
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Looks like she was in a great state to go to the “an evening with” event @rage naan just posted later that day, with her “head is moosh”. Bet these people got their money’s worth
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Just read about a launch party but it was on 22 Aug for the Bluebird-published version of the book, not the one for the highest paying backers of the self-published one.
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Looks like she was in a great state to go to the “an evening with” event @rage naan just posted later that day, with her “head is moosh”. Bet these people got their money’s worth
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Reading this makes it clear that Jack once again over promised (cooking for all the attendees herself?!) and couldn't deliver, hence roping all her team (presumably paid staff not friends!) into mashing spuds and mixing falafel. What a melt.
 
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The whole Kickstarter is just embarrassing honestly. I had a little browse and honestly 97% of the comments are "congratulations on the book Jack, we love you, you deserve all the success in the world, you do so much good, just to ask, no pressure but could you possibly check as I sent you £200 and haven't received anything three years later, sorry to bother you, we love you, take your time getting back to us" and she's replying with "your NEGATIVE TROLLING is LITERALLY RUINING my LIFE every time i see your horrible mean spiteful vicious nasty comments, its just me and my CRIPPLING ARTHRITIS doing this ALONE" etc

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Also lol at how she ignores about 98% of comments and then leaps to... threatening legal action when one hits her most prominent trigger point
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View attachment 2699615the HEINOUS LIBEL??View attachment 2699616
Little bonus: imagine contemplating actually travelling from abroad to this non existent party
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Wait wait wait wait wait.
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She was getting paid to teach cookery classes?
 
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I know this has been mithered about, but there are about a dozen post offices in Southend. She's so lazy that she could only be arsed to yomp to her nearest one, which unsurprisingly didn't have the resources to process hundreds of parcels at a time.

I live in a much, much smaller semi-rural town with only the one post office and very poor public transport, and yet I know people who run successful businesses and rely on internet sales, as the footfall in the high street isn't what it used to be. They don't complain about postage costs or ouchy bones, they just find a way to get stuff done, because their livelihood depends on it. You'd think that if she cared that much about the povs, she'd be more inclined to make a bit of an effort.

There's a woman in my area who collects food from Olio and puts it outside her house for anyone who needs it. She's constantly being reported to the Environmental Health by local snobs, but still keeps doing it. That's how you support people in need, Jack, you self-absorbed, lazy piece of tit
 
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Ooh yes, we didn't have nets because they were "common", but voiles were fine apparently - they were very popular in the '90s, especially the ones with swirly gold designs on them.

My mum is both a massive snob and inverse snob simultaneously, which is quite the skill. We were told off for using minor swear words, eating or drinking whilst walking, weren't allowed to watch ITV etc. And yet she still corrects my elongated vowels which I picked up when I worked down South when I was 18-25 (Even more ironically, she's actually a cockney and changed her accent when she moved up North)
Just read about a launch party but it was on 22 Aug for the Bluebird-published version of the book, not the one for the highest paying backers of the self-published one.
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Looks like she was in a great state to go to the “an evening with” event @rage naan just posted later that day, with her “head is moosh”. Bet these people got their money’s worth
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How ironic that she can't spell "mush"
 
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