No no no, you're doing this all wrong. What you should have done is posted them to Insta with a caption about how you "make a cracking yorkie."
Except the one SB makes
Pray for her when she is off to the pub for interviews for the Guardian. Oh. That’s definitely not an issue anymore is it?
Oh boy that’s not a mental image I needed
I bet she never shuts the duck up when she’s on the foolI remember the Delia furore. She cooked with frozen potato rostis and I think it was headline news the following day.Modern TV is so terrible, I’ve been watching old episodes of Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe on YT (highly recommended). In the round up of 2008, he covers Duchess Delia’s cookery show which (shock! Horror!) aimed to help people eat well for less in the midst of the credit crunch by using tinned ingredients, such as beef mince. Charlie said that the backlash from the media was so great, you’d have thought Deels had suddenly become a holocaust denier rather than an economy cook.
So what happened over the next couple of years for this approach to become not just accepted, but lauded, thereby enabling the smol pixie to gain her entire career?
How would they keep it up when her nasal twang is in their ear?Oh boy that’s not a mental image I needed
It’s the blackboard one - you can write on it
If she'd ever genuinely had either a heart attack or a blood clot, she'd have been bleating about them in her many appearances in the Guardian or Diva or wherever where she wasn't shy about talking about the many other, less easily disproven lies she's told as part of her victimhood cosplay.I do not believe for one second she had either a heart attack or clots on her lungs. More bull. But in case any part of it is true….maybe lay off the bleeping coke and gin binging then you bleeping Moron. Unless you have a heart defect ( SPOILER - she doesn’t ) young people having heart attacks is very rare…apart from when c is being taken and mixes badly with alcohol.
I saw several of these in my time as a NHS HCA - nailing Coke all night, drinking, then ending up in hospital due to a heart attack, cardiac arrest or severe arrhythmias.
So either way she’s lying. Lying about the heart attack and clots, or lying about the fact she had / has a massive bleeping habit. Either way, she can duck off.
*Apologies Fraus and Herrs for my sweary output. Been up a lot in the night either in pain or in the bathroom and someone like fool-for-brains faking stuff she has no clue about seems to have riled me this morning.
Jack - stop lying, have a word with yourself and sort your life out. You might be getting away with Patreon for now, but it won’t last forever and you’re still in your 30s. Get your tit together. Oh and maybe build bridges with your poor son, who I’m sure with all your baiting and faking physical ailments on Twitter means that he’s spent most of his life worried sick about you for absolutely no reason ( and even if there was a reason, you shield your kids from it as much as possible!!).
You are a despicable, disgraceful and disgusting person. Best thing you did was duck off out the public eye
Of course you can. Old Fancy Pants Can't Cook couldn't have a basic model of anything.
It would need bleeping scaffoldingHow would they keep it up when her nasal twang is in their ear?
Lil' peeky bungastairs in the background there. I think the kitchen looks presentable... what poor fucker got roped in to give it a scrub at a time of national lockdown?
Not the only scrubber in that house
Careful now, don't be giving her ideas, or we'll be subjected to a video of guest's artistic interpretation of Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er Boi", in which she plays both parts.
Peak - the top of a mountain (insert picture of guset pointing at the peak of Arthur's Seat, pretending she climbed it). Also as in "peaky", to to become sickly or emaciated (I'm feeling a bit peaky, I'll go and pretend I'm having a heart attack and waste loads of NHS time).It’s also with an ea not ee. So she really is utterly wrong. As usual
See also: people who say "sneak peak" (which is an unobtrusive mountain) as opposed to "sneak peek" which is a cheeky glimpse.
