Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

[Valiofthedolls]

Speaking of…just found and re-read her lusting over a grieving man at his granny’s memorial service.

Spoiler

Hey Enabler Carole, it’s going to be FUCKING MENTAL!!!

He’s not a Royal tho

oh wait, yes he is!

And the most delightful part of the whole thing. Let’s dilute those SWARTHY Mediterranean genes with Hazza’s ginger spooge.

SO FUCKING GRIM
ss @Marmalade Atkins @BlendedSlop @PickledRadish and @Griftymcgriftface
Again, I’m fucking THRILLED she’s silent.

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

Lying in the bath of money and talking about what she spent the money on in the article was such bad taste. I can't believe her and her agent were ok with it when they saw it all put together.

She was so thrilled at getting her photo taken for the graun and simultaneously too stupid to realise the piece was a subtle hatchet job.
---
She was actually crowing about it.

CROWING.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Spoiler: EvErYbOdY cLaPpEd AnD cHeErEd!

Then they all came round her house and declared her cooking the best ever!!!

 

[AlwightDallin]

So if I’m reading this right, her chilli recipe could be grated spam, garden peas, tin of baked beans and a blob of tomato purée? I’m gutted she didn’t get her own cooking show.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

HANG ON!!!!!

She raised that £68,761 between Dec 3 2015-Jan 18 2016 to self publish her book but then announces on Feb 12th 2016 she’s already got a contract in early FEBRUARY to publish the SAME FUCKING BOOK?! Like, less than a month later!!!??? So she no longer needs to self publish within 3 1/2 WEEKS of her fundraiser closing!?

The book wasn’t even anywhere near finished at this point -she literally says she’s still writing it- so why on earth didn’t she refund everyone’s cash from the Kickstarter as soon as she got the contract rather than keeping it all??? Then sitting on it all for over two years and not actually sending the shitty substandard “self published” book out until April 2018, where she bothered to do so at all.

My mind is blown she got that contract so soon after the fundraiser!!! Not that she kept all the cash tho, cos she’s a THIEF AND CHARLATAN CONWOMAN. .

If you didn’t get a Kickstarter copy of Cooking On A Bootstrap…

I am very very very proud to announce that Bluebird (part of Macmillan) will be republishing Cooking On A Bootstrap after Christmas, so if you didn’t grab a copy in the Kickstarter, you&#8217…

web.archive.org

 

[StatusWoe]

This picture makes me cringe so much I actually feel like I move around internal organs. I honestly don’t think she has the part of the brain that has embarrassment does she?

I think the embarrasment part of the brain would have stepped in by now and asked her to delete those old selfies, at least for the sake of her poor son.

It's giving 'edgy Btech photography coursework'. Who poses with a dead creature like this? Gotta look cute and mysterious while I use this deceased bird as a fucking prop

It's ~artistic~ and ~symbolic~

The dead seagull represents the economic decline of British coastal towns.
The woman is cradling the bird in a display of mourning.
Her jaunty hairstyle provides a clever and effective visual link with the seagull's broken wings.
The choice to shoot in black and white is reflective of our collective nostalgia for a mythologised past, while the tattoos counter this nostalgia with the harsh realism of modernity.

Why hold bird?
Communities unheard.
---

I instinctively went for 'crumbly jaw' to rhyme with store when thinking of guest.

Giant claw

At the coffee store
mumble mumble
can't be a whore
with my crumbly jaw
and my giant claw
*sniff*

 

[RandomFishOils]

Is she winking in the bottom photo or did her eye just casually fall out?

Her dad’s from Greece
She’s a thirst shot scammer
She studied cooking at Westcliffe Grammar
That’s when I
Caught her eye

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I hate to be the one but that coinage is now probably back in circulation.
Right now one of you could have a flap-touch copper in your pocket.
I'm sitting here thanking Jesus for the euro!

 

[griftalo]

merry crimblenuts everyone!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Big Dave I want to apply for a job in your coffee and artillery store
I know two facts about the cleaners personal lives,
and I’m sure I can find out one more
Bouleevaaard
honk

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You know that guest has never woken up in the morning to ice on the inside of the windows. #goodolddays

Pretty sure she’s woken up to snow all around the house a time or two tho

ETA vid SNIFFFF!!!

Where she was caught in a lie YET AGAIN. Daft (attention seeking) twat.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Ah, the bath not full of pennies was so funny. She told Choccy Dave she'd done a nude

What

A Total

Twat

Funny, it didn’t look like those people you kept waiting for four hours were all having a HILLLARRRRRRIOUS time from that Insta vid they posted proving you weren’t in a “bathtub of 10,000 copper coins”.
(ss from @Brian Butterfield)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Yep! This is the crux if it for a lot of us. I certainly didn't hang around for three years because her food was shit. Massive con artist

I knew about the contract to publish the same book but had never clocked the contract was negotiated, signed, sealed and delivered and she was announcing within THREE WEEKS of the fundraiser closing! It’s mindblowing. She surely will have known about that imminent contract when she was still grifting the cash.

Then she’d clearly blown through all that entire £68,000+ by April of the following year when she was “coming out as skint” and on the beg on PayPal and Patreon cos she “couldn’t pay her rent”.

ETA I think she learned from that Kickstarter she could get away with just about anything £££. Well at least until she hit publish on July 31st 2022 anyway.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I know it was mithered over at the time, but looking at this again I can’t believe how much this was in poor taste. What on EARTH was she thinking?!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Aaaah! Uncle Dennis is clearing out the loft and has just found a load of Aunty Pat’s old passport photos!

Spoiler

Oh no, that’s embarrassing! How did that RAUNCHY one get in there?!

“HARRY!!!”

 

[rage naan]

For the sake of levity
View attachment 2588587

Spoiler: 3. PANTRY By Dr Jack Monroe

View attachment 2588617
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Oodles of Doodles

Hello! I’ve been busily working on Bootstrap so the blog has been a bit quiet lately – but here’s something I have been desperate to share for a while! The Kickstarter edition of …

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Oh my god the comments. So many " omg guest you are the best artist that ever drew anything" but in amongst them ... !

Could it be leggy???

Also look at this ludicrous exchange. She's ridiculous

 

[StewPots]

I like to think someone did add her to the industry WhatsApp group then everyone started a new one without her.

Nigella has LEFT the group
Gordon has LEFT the group
James has LEFT the group
John has LEFT the group
Matt OTF has LEFT the group
Allegra has LEFT Jack & the group
Heston has LEFT the group
Delia has LEFT the group
Marcus has LEFT the group
Monica has LEFT the group
Tom has LEFT the group
Michel has LEFT the group
Marco has LEFT the group
Rick has LEFT the group
Mary has LEFT the group
Paul has LEFT the group

*Greg(g) Wallace has joined the group*

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Lying in the bath of money and talking about what she spent the money on in the article was such bad taste. I can't believe her and her agent were ok with it when they saw it all put together.

She is absolutely thick though, isn't she?

I remember someone on Twitter saying "and you're happy with that article?" and her strutting about being a cocky little prick saying "yes and wouldn't you know if I wasn't?" or words to that effect.

It wasn't until later when the penny dropped that Shattenstobe had stitched her up like a kipper (intentionally or unintentionally, we'll never know) that she started pleading that she'd been misquoted etc.

She honestly thought it was a glowing write up, all because the shallow self-absorbed madam couldn't see past the fact that she was "nude" on the cover of a magazine, living all of her modelling fantasies out.

Thick cunt or what.

 

[tinklypom]

About train driving…. Firstly it’s competitive to get into. You also have to pass tests to get accepted for training. There’s a LOT to learn, a lot of study. If you don’t pass, you’re out. It is paid well, but there’s shift work. Very early starts and late finishes. You have to have a lot of concentration and quick reactions. It’s not for everyone and it’s not a job where you apply on a whim one day and start the next. It’s a long winded process to get to the training and earning stage - if you need money right now you’d apply elsewhere too. Lastly, they seem to like people who have had previous driving experience, particularly driving for a job.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

I done a screen recording but sadly it’s too big to share.
On BBC Food, Jack has 46 published recipes. 24 of them are different flavoured flapjacks.
There’s:
• Yummy golden syrup flapjacks
• raspberry honey flapjacks
• easy honey flapjacks
• vegan flapjacks
• feel good flapjacks
• vegan flapjacks
• sticky plum flapjacks
• cheese and chive flapjacks
• chocolate orange flapjacks
• macadamia and blueberry flapjacks
• apricot, honey and pistachio flapjacks
• lemon drizzle flapjacks
• cranberry, pumpkin seed and caramel flapjacks
• healthier flapjacks
• cinnamon flapjacks
• coffee and walnut flapjacks
• healthy flapjacks (haven’t checked the difference between these and the healthier flapjacks)
• chocolate and caramel flapjacks
• chocolate orange and walnut flapjacks
• ginger flapjacks
• cherry and coconut flapjacks
• Rudolph’s carrot flapjacks
• fruity gluten free flapjacks
• chocolate flapjacks

It's been so long since I popped in here (new job, son got married - I wore a hat!!) but I'm disgusted by the idea of cheese and chive flapjacks. I'm sure someone somewhere would do them nicely, but I can't imagine how she's going to get the flapjack texture without golden syrup. In addition to cheese and chive?