Jack Monroe #534 Fake an arthritis overdose

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title courtesy of @plentyofpepper who nominated these words from a squig's Downfall parody. You win at least 140 tickets to see guest at the Fringe.

In the last thread, George Monbiot replied to a critical squig with less than favourable words.

Guest is still radio silent apart from a trite quote in an Instagram story. Potentially lights OFF, I repeat - lights OFF. Brace for an incoming photosensitive epilepsy warning as the lights may be ON and OFF repeatedly until Adrian realises she's got her phone back.

When nominating thread titles please use the words 'thread title' and NO SWEARING. For newbies, the wiki is the pink button up top.

 

[ItchOfTheWestCoast]

Can't wait for Jack crying that no one came to her show on X.

Even more excited to get the blame with you all.

 

[Geetbo]

The canal awaits Aunty Pats appearance at Edinburgh with great interest. Will she turn up? Will she bench press the interviewer? Stay tuned to find out.

 

[shugabug23]

South Eastern Irish Canal: I see you!! Send me one more signal in the comments and we’re 100% besties for life

 

[just lurking 99]

Sic transit gloria.

Is that the title of Jack's me-moir?

 

[nothanksbabes]

South Eastern Irish Canal: I see you!! Send me one more signal in the comments and we’re 100% besties for life

I've got an aubergine, will that do?

 

[Livia Fantasy]

I've got an aubergine, will that do?

Susan, it's a Dyson recipe.

 

[plentyofpepper]

Thread title courtesy of @plentyofpepper who nominated these words from a squig's Downfall parody. You win at least 140 tickets to see guest at the Fringe.

In the last thread, George Monbiot replied to a critical squig with less than favourable words.

Guest is still radio silent apart from a trite quote in an Instagram story. Potentially lights OFF, I repeat - lights OFF. Brace for an incoming photosensitive epilepsy warning as the lights may be ON and OFF repeatedly until Adrian realises she's got her phone back.

When nominating thread titles please use the words 'thread title' and NO SWEARING. For newbies, the wiki is the pink button up top.

My very first thread title 🥹🥹🥹 I’d like to thank the squig who made the video that is now permanently seared on to my brain and to the canal for your support xxxx

I will share my winnings like a fancy food hamper with you all 🩷 with many thankspaceyous for getting me through a tough week with lots of laughs. Chapeau dear hearts
---

Can't wait for Jack crying that no one came to her show on X.

Even more excited to get the blame with you all.

Now now, west coast itch dear, don’t go giving her PR ideas, lest Jason Manford and the like will be sending her the supportive, inspirational signal boosting twaddle she so desperately craves x

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

I can’t keep up because my employer expects me to work. Urgh. However, I was thinking about the ‘military around the edges’ chat from the last thread. Do you reckon people have told her she acts like a right Sargent Major at times? I.e. a bossy, annoying fucker, and in Jacks inimitable way that’s become ‘military around the edges’?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’m glad shes away and I only need to grunk once a day now.
The whole quitting thing shows she didn’t spend her pregnancy or maternity planning how she was going to manage her childcare.
Was she at work 30 miles away because that’s where Daddy worked? Why as a non driver hadn’t she applied to work nearer before. Why didn’t she spend her pregnancy asking what the working hours adjustments could be when she returned and then decide to go and get a normal 9-5.
None of it makes any sense. I used to commute 50 miles by train and no bleeping way would I have done it heavily pregnant or with a child. It’s entirely impractical. Or why not move closer, she was only renting.
I have a friend who is a childminder and she does do flexible overnights for a nurse. They do exist. You probably have to seek them out though and make a bit of effort.

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

You probably have to seek them out though and make a bit of effort.

And that’s it in a nutshell.

 

[blueorchid]

I’m glad shes away and I only need to grunk once a day now.
The whole quitting thing shows she didn’t spend her pregnancy or maternity planning how she was going to manage her childcare.
Was she at work 30 miles away because that’s where Daddy worked? Why as a non driver hadn’t she applied to work nearer before. Why didn’t she spend her pregnancy asking what the working hours adjustments could be when she returned and then decide to go and get a normal 9-5.
None of it makes any sense. I used to commute 50 miles by train and no bleeping way would I have done it heavily pregnant or with a child. It’s entirely impractical. Or why not move closer, she was only renting.
I have a friend who is a childminder and she does do flexible overnights for a nurse. They do exist. You probably have to seek them out though and make a bit of effort.

Stop making such a sensible points …

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Just to slightly defend boiled potatoes man… academia is extremely precarious employment until you “make it” and a lot of people end up decimating their savings moving up and down the country and internationally for short term jobs. This guy could be relatively new in post and not had time to accumulate a decent savings pot, especially living in the South East. He won’t be the only one.

However, I noted with interest that his post was QTed by the gen sec of UCU (another one on 6 figures who loves to wail about how working class she is) to basically ask for donations to the union strike fund, which is pretty well-furnished. Our man should be spending his time applying for help from that rather than tagging in Jack who doesn’t give a solitary duck about any striker and who CERTAINLY wouldn’t give the time of day to lecturers because they’re EXACTLY the sort of people who might tell her she needs to apply herself.

The boiled potatoes are just another roadside mum shock tactic to get the visuals going viral. Could’ve been a plate of chips and beans, but then fewer people would be clutching their pearls I guess.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

I’m glad shes away and I only need to grunk once a day now.
The whole quitting thing shows she didn’t spend her pregnancy or maternity planning how she was going to manage her childcare.
Was she at work 30 miles away because that’s where Daddy worked? Why as a non driver hadn’t she applied to work nearer before. Why didn’t she spend her pregnancy asking what the working hours adjustments could be when she returned and then decide to go and get a normal 9-5.
None of it makes any sense. I used to commute 50 miles by train and no bleeping way would I have done it heavily pregnant or with a child. It’s entirely impractical. Or why not move closer, she was only renting.
I have a friend who is a childminder and she does do flexible overnights for a nurse. They do exist. You probably have to seek them out though and make a bit of effort.

I could be charitable and say that as someone around 21-22 she just didn’t have the foresight, however I feel that was a lot of “you help those ferals more than me” re her relationship with her parents and resentment towards their fostering

 

[Mrs Peel]

Let's not worry about boiled spuds and beans lecturer.

Most recent tweet:

"Thanks for the amazing support out there. Just to say, I’m doing okay. I have amazing friends cooking & donating for me & family helping me out financially. I also have this massive dahl to see me going and a fair bit of frozen food to get through for the next week or so."

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Let's not worry about boiled spuds and beans lecturer.

Most recent tweet:

"Thanks for the amazing support out there. Just to say, I’m doing okay. I have amazing friends cooking & donating for me & family helping me out financially. I also have this massive dahl to see me going and a fair bit of frozen food to get through for the next week or so."

Lol I revoke my defence. Just another Jack.

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Let's not worry about boiled spuds and beans lecturer.

Most recent tweet:

"Thanks for the amazing support out there. Just to say, I’m doing okay. I have amazing friends cooking & donating for me & family helping me out financially. I also have this massive dahl to see me going and a fair bit of frozen food to get through for the next week or so."

See? What a whammer.

Wouldn't you use your frozen food before taking to Twatter and trying to tug on guest's grubby heartstrings before deploying boiled potatoes and beans? twit. They're all the same.

 

[lilykestrel]

Let's not worry about boiled spuds and beans lecturer.

Most recent tweet:

"Thanks for the amazing support out there. Just to say, I’m doing okay. I have amazing friends cooking & donating for me & family helping me out financially. I also have this massive dahl to see me going and a fair bit of frozen food to get through for the next week or so."

oh god he's mentioned dahl, he might summon Coxy

 

[chizontiz]

ooosh a rough couple of days for guset - first an enjoyable Guardian-esque side eye from george mate, and now this academic is all up in her potatoes niche!

Spoiler: potatoes mither

I don't want to speak disparagingly of the academic because I've never had to strike nor been employed somewhere where striking is even on the cards. I will say I am struck a little by the response, and the nature of the post itself I guess.

This isn't intended as a me-rail because I don't think I'm unique in not finding that meal all that out of the ordinary? tbh it's not that far from a pretty bog-standard lunch/dinner for me - as some fraus started mithering at the end of the last thread, it's usually a jacket-potato but I understand the spuds in question are likely from a foodbank. Not saying I eat it every day or that anybody should, but it's cheap and easy so features regularly in my 'go tos' (I am not a 'foodie' and don't have a particularly varied diet because I'm lazy and not all that food motivated - I eat to live if ugetme). I just can't work out where some of the pearl clutching (for want of a better phrase) is coming from - is it anger that this middle class man is having to eat potatoes and beans for dinner, is it that he had to use a foodbank, or is it a mix of both?

It's a bit of a tired comparison by now, but if anybody on the estate where I live (I rent privately but the majority is still social housing) were to share that photo with a much more benign caption simply stating it was their dinner, or perhaps even mentioning they'd been donated the potatoes by a foodbank but without any outrage implied, would it elicit the same response from those in the comments?

The chances are they wouldn't even see it, let alone be shocked/horrified/scandalised by it, right? which in itself is part of the point I am very clumsily trying to make - there are some groups where using foodbanks and being seen to be 'living on' certain foods is par for the course really, not great but to be expected and what can you do? And then there are some where as soon as they venture close to 'poverty' (read: they struggle for a bit) it's book deals and 'put a little something in your tip jar' and gofundmes and endless platitudes of 'my poor sweet tenderheart, this is truly awful news, how bewilderingly unthinkable, it simply cannot be so, how utterly deplorable!!!'

Am I completely off the mark here? Am I being a bleep?

 

[BeardyBap]

I can’t keep up because my employer expects me to work. Urgh. However, I was thinking about the ‘military around the edges’ chat from the last thread. Do you reckon people have told her she acts like a right Sargent Major at times? I.e. a bossy, annoying fucker, and in Jacks inimitable way that’s become ‘military around the edges’?

I reckon it's her that tells them, "What do you mean overbearing control freak? I'm just Military Around The Edges*, everyone says it. I am aren't I? Well, aren't I? etc etc"
I had a supervisor years ago who would have been described in those terms (not that exact term because it really isn't a phrase). But he had no service himself or in his family history, he was just a stickler for the company rules and walked very fast. It was a surprisingly effective cover for total incompetence. Really makes you think.

*I was going to acronymize this but MATE just feels... icky.