Jack Monroe #532 Borbenheimer. Sloppenborber. Borbenslopper.

reCAPTCHA · Jul 30, 2023

Courtesy of @rage naan with 54 votes. Not sure if it was a genuine suggestion, but I’m the adult making the new thread so

Tattle on you beautiful bunch of fraus. (fraus initially auto-corrected to ‘fraud’ and I

)

TheMiceInTheShed · Jul 30, 2023

Thank(space)you for the new thread - and for the charming invitation to join you on it ("This way witches"). Who could resist?

Geetbo · Jul 30, 2023

Beautiful thread title tenderloin x

hoopdedoo · Jul 30, 2023

I'd never seen that photo of guest preparing to summit Mt Everest, I mean, (allegedly) go camping in the Lake District. But it would be really uncomfortable sleeping outdoors on a yoga mat. Just saying.

Hollaaa · Jul 30, 2023

hoopdedoo said:
I'd never seen that photo of guest preparing to summit Mt Everest, I mean, (allegedly) go camping in the Lake District. But it would be really uncomfortable sleeping outdoors on a yoga mat. Just saying.

Just a hunch, but I don't think it was slept or yoga'd on.

Five hundred dogs · Jul 30, 2023

To answer the question on the last thread as to if she’s ever mentioned SB in any other capacity than to big herself up, not that I’ve ever seen. I’ll admit I’m not an OG Frau, but I’ve been around a while so if she has it was way back. I know people like to grumble about parents who post every minor achievement their child has, but I’d rather see a million ‘OMG, so proud of Noah for getting a smiley face sticker on his homework for his poem about autumn leaves’ than see one person treating their child like an NPC who only exists to prop up their main character.

reCAPTCHA · Jul 30, 2023

I would 100% purchase some kind of visual, pretty product that someone crafted that listed the thread titles for Jack. I would add it to my keep sake box (it’s actually rather small…I’m selective) and I can see myself at 94 sat there absolutely cackling, with my kids watching on, clueless.

If I’m ever laid up in bed with some Jack-style illness that’s life-threatening ~~but not really just the kind of thing that makes you laid up in bed, bored,~~I’ll copy them all onto a word document and laminate them myself.

On my list of ‘things to do that I’ll never get round to’ I genuinely think this would rate higher than the 15 years of photo books I need to produce for my own dearest family

Geetbo · Jul 30, 2023

reCAPTCHA said:
I’m not joking I would absolutely purchase some kind of visual,purchasable, pretty visual thing that someone crafted that listed the thread titles for Jack. I would add it to my keep sake box (it’s actually rather small…I’m selective) and I can see myself at 94 sat there absolutely cackling, with my kids watching on, clueless.

If I’m ever laid up in bed with some Jack-style illness that’s life-threatening ~~but not really just the kind of thing that makes you laid up in bed, bored,~~I’ll copy them all onto a word document and laminate them myself.

On my list of ‘things to do that I’ll never get round to’ I genuinely think this would rate higher than the 15 years of photo books I need to produce for my own dearest family

Same, I’ve been tempted to stencil “And Still I Rinse” onto my living room wall on many occasions.

reCAPTCHA · Jul 30, 2023

Geetbo said:
Same, I’ve been tempted to stencil “And Still I Rinse” onto my living room wall on many occasions.

Ha! You know how they bring visual prompts out for dementia patients? I’d want them to save me a thread title a day, give it to me on a piece of paper, and then I could sit happily waxing lyrical in my own little world. It would keep me going for at least…..hmm….18 months, right?

TheMiceInTheShed · Jul 30, 2023

reCAPTCHA said:
Ha! You know how they bring visual prompts out for dementia patients? I’d want them to save me a thread title a day, give it to me on a piece of paper, and then I could sit happily waxing lyrical in my own little world. It would keep me going for at least…..hmm….18 months, right?

And if they wanted to make sure none of us escaped from whichever Home for The Demented we were incarcerated in, they could play recordings of "Boulevaaaaaaard" at the approach to all external doors . . . we'd dive back in pretty damn sharpish . . .

Brian Butterfield · Jul 30, 2023

reCAPTCHA said:
I would 100% purchase some kind of visual, pretty product that someone crafted that listed the thread titles for Jack. I would add it to my keep sake box (it’s actually rather small…I’m selective) and I can see myself at 94 sat there absolutely cackling, with my kids watching on, clueless.

If I’m ever laid up in bed with some Jack-style illness that’s life-threatening ~~but not really just the kind of thing that makes you laid up in bed, bored,~~I’ll copy them all onto a word document and laminate them myself.

On my list of ‘things to do that I’ll never get round to’ I genuinely think this would rate higher than the 15 years of photo books I need to produce for my own dearest family

I've been promising my mum a photo book since she was 70 (she's now 81

). I just bought her this - you can have up to 10k photos and videos! She bloody loves it. You can invite family and friends into it so they can also add stuff too. It's ace

Amazon product

Five hundred dogs · Jul 30, 2023

Maybe we should all pick a thread title each and have it tattooed somewhere on our bodies, then if we suspect we have spotted a Frau in the wild we could surreptitiously flash our tattoos as a signal. I quite fancy a woman stamp of “why you sob, Russell Hobb” myself.

CabalofBolorneaise · Jul 30, 2023

I think a lot (most?) of her parenting posts are trying to copy other people and the dead giveaway to her real feelings is the way she somehow manages to always get the tone completely wrong.

The chore chart thing, she posted that at a time where all the American mommy bloggers seemed to be doing it and often complete with gentle teasing digs - yet hers comes over as totally cold and authoritarian verging on bullying. The same with the discussion cards, I saw other people posting about those but only Jack’s sounded like it was forcing SB to do it at every single meal akin to some sort of bizarre North Korean brainwashing ritual. If I was forensic and had the time I bet I’d be able to find where she’s borrowed/plagiarised loads of her anecdotes from and just given them unmistakable Monroe tone.

All this to say, I think even when she’s basically stealing all her parenting content she still can’t hit the right tone or make it sound genuine and that’s just so sad to think of, poor SB.

TheMiceInTheShed · Jul 30, 2023

Brian Butterfield said:
I've been promising my mum a photo book since she was 70 (she's now 81 ). I just bought her this - you can have up to 10k photos and videos! She bloody loves it. You can invite family and friends into it so they can also add stuff too. It's ace

Amazon product

Bliddy hellfire! I had no idea they were so expensive

Son and daughter-in-law bought one of these each for us and for her parents for Christmas last year so they could post us pictures of their lovely baby. (Worth every penny, BTW)

Geetbo · Jul 30, 2023

Five hundred dogs said:
Maybe we should all pick a thread title each and have it tattooed somewhere on our bodies, then if we suspect we have spotted a Frau in the wild we could surreptitiously flash our tattoos as a signal. I quite fancy a woman stamp of “why you sob, Russell Hobb” myself.

I’ll have “Shan’t” tattooed on my scrotum.

VeniVidiVicki · Jul 30, 2023

Chapeau

for thread title.

I was also bored this afternoon and perused her insta. Have we had Edie Sedgwick before?

I would feel like this was a massive stretch and her ego is utterly beyond bounds but then I saw that sedgwick’s sister has written a book

So I guess they do actually have something in common

TheMiceInTheShed · Jul 30, 2023

Geetbo said:
I’ll have “Shan’t” tattooed on my scrotum.

Oh, come on Geets - we all know that given half a chance you quite possibly "shall". And anyone who has got to scrotum level is in with a chance.

Geetbo · Jul 30, 2023

TheMiceInTheShed said:
Oh, come on Geets - we all know that given half a chance you quite possibly "shall". And anyone who has got to scrotum level is in with a chance.

ClarenceBeakes · Jul 30, 2023

VeniVidiVicki said:
Chapeau for thread title.

I was also bored this afternoon and perused her insta. Have we had Edie Sedgwick before?
View attachment 2344904

I would feel like this was a massive stretch and her ego is utterly beyond bounds but then I saw that sedgwick’s sister has written a book

View attachment 2344914

So I guess they do actually have something in common

Another 'friend'.

It's funny how all these 'friends' are always coming up with 'you look like xxxxx' stuff

TheMiceInTheShed · Jul 30, 2023

VeniVidiVicki said:
Chapeau for thread title.

I was also bored this afternoon and perused her insta. Have we had Edie Sedgwick before?
View attachment 2344904

I would feel like this was a massive stretch and her ego is utterly beyond bounds but then I saw that sedgwick’s sister has written a book

View attachment 2344914

So I guess they do actually have something in common

Oh Jack - you sweet summer ~~slop~~ child . . .

Edie was pretty, stylish, and original. You're imaginary friend is fibbing to you again.