Jack Monroe #525 Professionally, she is a laughing stock (cube)

[VeniVidiVicki]

Thread title courtesy of @Seaford Haggington nommed by @I’mNot actually here.

That was the hardest title ever to find as there were no thread title noms in the first two pages of likes. I expect normal service will resume shortly.

Please help with summary. I can’t be arsed.

 

[overdueanadventure]

Nothing going on but she RENTS

 

[hereforthechaos]

We continue to be denied a chaos. Twitter activities detected. Hopefully this works like seismic waves, earthquakes and volcanoes and we will get a welcome party soon.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Thread title courtesy of @Seaford Haggington nommed by @I’mNot actually here.

That was the hardest title ever to find as there were no thread title noms in the first two pages of likes. I expect normal service will resume shortly.

Please help with summary. I can’t be arsed.

And I’m sorry but I couldn’t figure out how to @ you I’m not actually here

and I forgot the prize! You both win a Greenbelt press pass.

 

[Lazarus]

I really need an excuse to use this. Hurry up, Jack.

Don’t bother coming back toot tooting about your amazing life and precious friends who never back you up on Twitter when you’re getting crucified for lying. Just give us a good old fashioned chaos and reveal where the missing money went.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Jack is still hiding in the bungamansion under the stairs with her hair dye, planning her next book, “Little Slop of Horrors”. Now duck off.

 

[plentyofpepper]

RECAP

Jack is still locked up tight in witness protection on Twitter and all is somewhat quiet on the Southend Front.

But! A Greenbelt statement was released defending their platforming of Jack at the upcoming festival, which on the face of it seemed about as full of substance as a Grifty Kitchen luncheon, but which forensic frauen dissected and it actually seems to have an air of the Shattenstone article: complimentary on the face of it, but slyly, possibly, softly, gently not-so-complimentary.

Said statement also has some of us wondering if the next Jack Era will be Televangelist Jack or if Greenbelt-goers will be deafened serenaded by the dulcet tones of the smol pixie singing church tunes. Mayhaps.

Also, due to a change in the requirement for an invite code to join Tattle, the Canal welcomed a Dordrecht boat-load of new frauen (myself included!), and we shared origin stories of how we discovered Guest and Her Ways, reminisced on favourite Jack moments, and generally got settled in.

Oh, and there was also a milky sultana curry. For Charity, of course, found amongst the many boxes and boxes of decluttered bungamansion shite Jackanory Lore of Yore.

Now, as they say in Jack Monroe Tattle, duck off! x

 

[Saltfish84]

Evening all. All quiet on the Jackie front.

Seeing as that odious pustule George Osborne is trending on the hellsite for being exposed as a coked-up cheating bastard and borderline rapist, here is a fun fact - I called Osborne a ‘shark eyed bleep’ on Twitter and he blocked me.

I called guest the same and she didn’t block me

ETA - this was prior to me joining Tattle and I no longer follow guest.

 

[here we go again]

Evening all. All quiet on the Jackie front.

Seeing as that odious pustule George Osborne is trending on the hellsite for being exposed as a coked-up cheating bastard and borderline rapist, here is a fun fact - I called Osborne a ‘shark eyed bleep’ on Twitter and he blocked me.

I called guest the same and she didn’t block me

ETA - this was prior to me joining Tattle and I no longer follow guest.

She probably considers it a compliment at this point; gosh knows we've all called her worse.

 

[griftalo]

Re my chanterelle suggestion on the last thread -
As a lamb substitutable mushroom, if in that way inclined - not to be put near a JM recipe! I have tastebuds and that never crossed my mind. I was thinking a decent curry

 

[Flivver]

Thank you for doing the new thread VVV dearheart. The reference to stock cubes reminds this ole frau of Jack’s purchase of 500 out of date stock cubes from Approved Foods. Found @thunderclapforcaper’s screenie - I wonder if she’s still using them. On the balance of probabilities, I’d say - yes, she is.

 

[Gnomic Gnome]

RECAP

Jack is still locked up tight in witness protection on Twitter and all is somewhat quiet on the Southend Front.

But! A Greenbelt statement was released defending their platforming of Jack at the upcoming festival, which on the face of it seemed about as full of substance as a Grifty Kitchen luncheon, but which forensic frauen dissected and it actually seems to have an air of the Shattenstone article: complimentary on the face of it, but slyly, possibly, softly, gently not-so-complimentary.

Said statement also has some of us wondering if the next Jack Era will be Televangelist Jack or if Greenbelt-goers will be deafened serenaded by the dulcet tones of the smol pixie singing church tunes. Mayhaps.

Also, due to a change in the requirement for an invite code to join Tattle, the Canal welcomed a Dordrecht boat-load of new frauen (myself included!), and we shared origin stories of how we discovered Guest and Her Ways, reminisced on favourite Jack moments, and generally got settled in.

Oh, and there was also a milky sultana curry. For Charity, of course, found amongst the many boxes and boxes of decluttered bungamansion shite Jackanory Lore of Yore.

Now, as they say in Jack Monroe Tattle, duck off! x

Loving your work,

 

[Marj24]

How have you mithering ninnies completed a thread in just two days when Jack is being completely silent? xx

 

[Yer_wha?!]

How have you mithering ninnies have completed a thread in just two days when Jack is being completely silent? xx

It's testament to Jack's enduring hideousness

 

[plentyofpepper]

Loving your work,

Just part of All The Good I Do, tenderstem xx

(In all seriousness, I LIVE for a good summarising, writing is a big part of my job so I promise to devote my Skillz to the canal )

 

[Mr Krabs]

How have you mithering ninnies completed a thread in just two days when Jack is being completely silent? xx

While there haven’t been any recent episodes of Jack, you can still enjoy past seasons on UK Gold. Reliving the Georgia Church Suppers chaos for example is like watching a rerun of Mr Bean on a Sunday afternoon. Except with much more cringing.

 

[hoopdedoo]

This week I went to a lovely little stir-fry place near my work. I'm a vegetarian and I'm allergic to some shellfish, so I usually have the stir-fry tofu with vegetables. However, by the time I arrived, they had run out of tofu. So they inexplicably offered me an egg instead.....

(Having had some bad experiences with cooked eggs in restaurants - ones that in retrospect looked like guest had cooked them - I declined, and we settled on a double helping of vegetables instead.)

 

[allybongo]

I’m sorry to come from the past. But that Indian charidee buffet is going to come to me in my hot flush nightmares tonight. I’ve got all the windows open and the fan on MAX

 

[Morning Mimosa]

Thank you for doing the new thread VVV dearheart. The reference to stock cubes reminds this ole frau of Jack’s purchase of 500 out of date stock cubes from Approved Foods. Found @thunderclapforcaper’s screenie - I wonder if she’s still using them. On the balance of probabilities, I’d say - yes, she is. View attachment 2290068

I think I can help here. It didn't happen. She's lying.

 

[FridayFunDay]

Hi thread pals, it's been a while and sorry if I've missed the updates but how is her sobriety knitted square a day blanket going? Must be huge by now!