Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

[Valiofthedolls]

That guest has SUCH a hilllllarrrrrrrrrious life!

If I was going to painstakingly make up tedious fictional anecdotes about my mad wild life to make the the HATERZ cacophonous with jealousy, I’d at least put some effort into ensuring I didn’t sound like a complete bleeping simpleton.

Cackle cackle, performative cackles

Jack Monroe #327 Three and a half stars on Wikifeet

Thread title courtesy of @Mr Krabs In the last thread it was confirmed that OH had indeed LEFT and Jack also announced that today would see the fulfilment of a 10-year dream. Various suggestions were made by the canal as to what this could be, but no one guessed the correct answer, which...

tattle.life

Cackle cackle, performative cackles (and bonus floppings about)

Calling @Marmalade Atkins for the screenshot of the hillllarrrrrious time where guest laughed so hard at someone’s garden ornaments she had to be softly gently supported by a tree.
(Edit: I forgot a hilllarrrrrious anecdote, now added)

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Calling @Marmalade Atkins for the screenshot of the hillllarrrrrious time where guest laughed so hard at someone’s garden ornaments she had to be softly gently supported by a tree.

 

[Veronicaaa]

View attachment 2281360

How the heck did you find that so quickly? Your desktop must be so organised #jelly

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

How the heck did you find that so quickly? Your desktop must be so organised #jelly

Boring answer: I searched my own tattle posts for "rocks"

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

I’m currently reading Joe Tracini’s autobiography about living with BPD, and there’s a bit where he talks about how much he lies. They literally fall out of his mouth- big and small, those with no consequences, those with major consequences. Sometimes they have a purpose (he ended up having his appendix out because he was being bullied at school and said he had a stomach ache so he didn't need to go in) But usually, no purpose at all. He doesn’t know why he does it. I couldn’t help but think of guest (not that I’m offering a diagnosis) but it has been one of the most baffling elements of their story for me. The constant lies, especially when there is immediate evidence to the contrary (“I have no toaster” guest exclaimed… whilst standing next to a toaster…)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Morning Ninnies, old and new!

That “black eye” has ended me this morning

I’ve never seen it! Such a shame she didn’t get a make up deal out of it ( not really obvs ) because the excessive use of highlighter is a sight to behold!!

Also - why I cry?
STILL no chaos
That’s why.

Ahem. You’ll also be wanting @Marmalade Atkins nice collage of guest’s best make up looks.

Jack Monroe #456 I’m surprised she didn’t nick the coins from the bath

Well Frauen und Herren...... this is interesting. In the end I couldn't wait, and asked our property developer friend. His simple answer was "yes" it's entirely possible to not only buy a property through a Ltd Co (they call it an SPV) but also to TRANSFER a property in a portfolio into an SPV...

tattle.life

 

[RandomFishOils]

So let me get this right… she’s actually 5 feet 1.7 inches, she’s 5 feet 2.3 inches peeping in the mirror - so she’s measured the height of her shoe soles to give us this forensic information?

 

[Veronicaaa]

I’m currently reading Joe Tracini’s autobiography about living with BPD, and there’s a bit where he talks about how much he lies. They literally fall out of his mouth- big and small, those with no consequences, those with major consequences. Sometimes they have a purpose (he ended up having his appendix out because he was being bullied at school and said he had a stomach ache so he didn't need to go in) But usually, no purpose at all. He doesn’t know why he does it. I couldn’t help but think of guest (not that I’m offering a diagnosis) but it has been one of the most baffling elements of their story for me. The constant lies, especially when there is immediate evidence to the contrary (“I have no toaster” guest exclaimed… whilst standing next to a toaster…)

So he at least knows he's lying, I guess? I sometimes wonder whether Jack realises she does it. It's so strange to me that someone who lies so much can say, over and over again, that she ~literally can't lie~. It's so delusional.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I don't feel the need to mention that I'm sober every time I do something. Maybe I should.

"Off to Waitrose. Sober."
"Off to work. Sober."
"Off to a funeral. Sober."

See how stupid and "what are you trying to hide?" it sounds, guest?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

On this day.

2016.

 

[rage naan]

There was a really good point made in another thread about how ageist the term “rage nan” is, and I fully agreed with all the points. Older peope are discriminated against in so many ways, from accessibility to how we speak about them, and it’s something we need to be more aware of.

That being said... If I’m lucky enough to reach old age, I would LOVE to be described as a rage nan, it sounds awesome.

And you made it even better with the pun!

Welcome @rage naan !

Thank you so much

I do agree on the ageism point, completely. I hope to emphasise the bread element to counteract that! but if it's offensive to anyone please let me know, I guess I can delete and start again?

Re Jack, I think my awareness story is much the same as everyone's, a gradual "huh. This makes no sense" kind of realisation. Then she did that thing on twitter where she left a rude reply to a perfectly polite question I'd asked and then blocked me so I couldn't see the reply. this makes me irrationally angry, like a flatbread might be if she'd made it

 

[GoLando]

Welcome all newcomers and some cracking user names. Larry David (I’m yelling for society!) and Rage Naan (Jeremy, that’s insane!) have me

 

[Smeghead]

On this day.

2016.

View attachment 2281406

Wat a melon

 

[markcorriganscrisps]

Hello

I became aware of Jack as I was poking around reading the gopher botherer threads back in 2020 when I had signed up using my ACTUAL REAL NAME as a username and noted her threads as her name rang a bell as she was well liked with a few friends of mine. My absolute personal highlight has definitely been the iridescent black eye. What a fan.

 

[Lazarus]

Does any one else read “Borbora” in the voice of David Senior, the boring dad of Dave Best (Ie Denise Royles husband)

you don’t decline a recline, Borbora!View attachment 2280979

The best episode ever. I honestly get so much joy from it. (was your dad a wetter, Jim? )
Tom Courtenay’s most famous character is Jack to a T (Billy Liar).
Jocelyn, David Junior’s mum in the Royle Family, starred alongside Tom Courtenay in Billy Liar, as his girlfriend. Her characters name, I hear you ask? BORBRA BARBARA!

Anyway, hello new people, nice to have you here.

ETA: would any of the new members who previously kindly donated to Jack care to divulge how much it was they gave?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Question: Which seeking Jack is the worst seeking Jack?

Spoiler

1:

2:

3:

Spoiler: Answer:

View attachment 2281440

 

[BenignNarcissist]

Burgers seem to have an undue influence on Guest's life.

All she'd be good for us making them, according to spiteful, cruel, teacher wanting to keep the Smol Pixie down.

But Guest MAKES GOOD BURGERS! And has a career as a author, albeit in a death spiral.

And who amongst us can forget the preternatural instinctive reaction of "new beau" who, upon sensing Guest was feeling depressed, brought her - you guessed it - a BURGER, and then sexed her for six hours in the four hours that she was off Twitter, and then disappeared from everyone's life as quickly as he arrived.

It seems like Guest has BURGERS imprinted in her brain, as a surrogate form of emotion. What else could explain the "pork and prune" burger that Guest designed here? Jack Monroe's pork and prune burger recipe | Pork | The Guardian

The Germans have a word "Kummerspeck: Literally meaning “grief bacon,” the excess weight we gain from emotional overeating." I think Jack experiences BurgerEmotions at a range of emotional junctures in her life.

Burgers for All.

 

[StringyMango]

@Valiofthedolls & Marmalade Atkins
You are spoiling us today.
To Ninnies old and new. Loving all the new names/avatars.
@rage naan never change your name.
Stringy xx

 

[Katkat]

Question: Which seeking Jack is the worst seeking Jack?

Spoiler

1: View attachment 2281435
2: View attachment 22814303: View attachment 2281431

Spoiler: Answer:

View attachment 2281440View attachment 2281446

Has she been hiking yet?

 

[Smeghead]

Question: Which seeking Jack is the worst seeking Jack?

Spoiler

1: View attachment 2281435
2: View attachment 22814303: View attachment 2281431

Spoiler: Answer:

View attachment 2281440View attachment 2281446

“Laid back in a slightly exhausting way.”