Jack Monroe #522 Breitlings are a girl's best friend

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Thread title by @Kittypops , nominated by @HotesTilaire. Congratulations, you both win a jar of hair (use unclear) and a tin can with nasty sharp edges.

Guest is currently lurking behind a locked twitter account, learning and growing and developing as a human being. Sorry, no, my mistake, she's probably about to expire from rage because her mentions on the hellsite are a mess.

While guest is quiet, the canal has been reduced to mithering about how to pronounce mither, so can we have a chaos soon, please, guest?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Thread title by @Kittypops , nominated by @HotesTilaire. Congratulations, you both win a jar of hair (use unclear) and a tin can with nasty sharp edges.

Guest is currently lurking behind a locked twitter account, learning and growing and developing as a human being. Sorry, no, my mistake, she's probably about to expire from rage because her mentions on the hellsite are a mess.

While guest is quiet, the canal has been reduced to mithering about how to pronounce mither, so can we have a chaos soon, please, guest?

Imagine if she’d learnt and grown from every dick move she’s ever made. She’d be 95 feet tall.

 

[Ms Biscuit]

I predict that when guest returns, it will be with a Lights On! post about how she has just had the most glorious time (at a sober beach rave, at Glasto, playing chess and having cuddles, take your pick). She will prattle on about how sad it is that "the trolls" (translation: people with perfectly reasonable questions about where their money has gone) will never understand what it is like to be surrounded by the love and care of dear, good friends, etc., etc., and how far her current life is "beyond her wildest dreams." Thirty minutes later, she will be raging and gnashing and screaming that she is VERY UNWELL and how dare anyone have any expectations of her.
That's my prediction.

 

[shugabug23]

Imagine if she’d learnt and grown from every dick move she’s ever made. She’d be 95 feet tall.

I speed read this and “DICK” and “95 feet tall” stood out… you can imagine where my imagination went after ydays ‘dildo in a drawer reminder’

I blame @Geetbo I was such an innocent Catholic, went to School at a Convent smol leprechaun over here till I started reading your smut

 

[Geetbo]

I predict that when guest returns, it will be with a Lights On! post about how she has just had the most glorious time (at a sober beach rave, at Glasto, playing chess and having cuddles, take your pick). She will prattle on about how sad it is that "the trolls" (translation: people with perfectly reasonable questions about where their money has gone) will never understand what it is like to be surrounded by the love and care of dear, good friends, etc., etc., and how far her current life is "beyond her wildest dreams." Thirty minutes later, she will be raging and gnashing and screaming that she is VERY UNWELL and how dare anyone have any expectations of her.
That's my prediction.

I think we might get a “it’s been touch and go, but I am softly, gently getting better surrounded by good friends” yarn this time.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

@BlendedSlop posted this in the viggles thread

Spoiler: It’s SCARY

She looks like the reflection in the back of a spoon. It’s terrifying.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I think we might get a “it’s been touch and go, but I am softly, gently getting better surrounded by good friends” yarn this time.

yes, wasn't the previous one a LIGHTS ON post? So this one should be a "touch and go" one.

 

[drusy]

@BlendedSlop posted this in the viggles thread

Spoiler: It’s SCARY

View attachment 2264601
She looks like the reflection in the back of a spoon. It’s terrifying.

She looks like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein

 

[hiyaaaacath]

@BlendedSlop posted this in the viggles thread

Spoiler: It’s SCARY

View attachment 2264601
She looks like the reflection in the back of a spoon. It’s terrifying.

It’s serving me “Steves” from People Just Do Nothing. Which would certainly explain the recent penchant for raving

 

[Kittypops]

Oh my god, my first thread title! I'm truly lost for words, but luckily, I prepared a few bon mots just in case and jotted them on my hand using a pen from my jacket pocket. But as I'm currently on a self-imposed silence, I shan't speak, but shall perform in the art of mime instead...

 

[StewPots]

I’m catching up with some of the Glasto sets and OMG Fat Boy Slim knocked it out of the park! Incredible set… but despite being on bed rest I found myself raving whilst lying down with one finger in air surrounded by pillows and soft blankets and medication, reliving my lairy as duck teenage and early 20s years

And then I thought “Oh my God, am I Jack???”
RAVING on my BED on a SUNDAY like the CRAZY witch I am???”

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Jack Monroe smells like one of her recipes. Pass it on.

 

[Ms Biscuit]

I think we might get a “it’s been touch and go, but I am softly, gently getting better surrounded by good friends” yarn this time.

Indeed, this is equally likely. It will depend on whether she feels like playing the revenge card and getting her snark on ("despite the hordes of enemies who want me DEAD I am living my best toot toot life") or is in need of pity and outrage on her behalf ("oh, Jack, you deserve better for all you do! Why haven't the police locked your tormentors up?").

If you are right, Geetbo, I will send you a shithouse onion line drawing.

 

[pumbilical cord]

Even the lovely Ariel has had a train chaos. Jack Monroe, letting everyone down. Again.

 

[HotesTilaire]

The honour of nomming the winning words was unknown to me at the time, yet it viscously, viciously and perpendicularly entered my subconscious. My dream became a terrifying hellscape where I kept going to different shops, and in every one Jack would appear. I woke, not screaming and thrashing (because I have an actual diagnosed disability which prevents this) but frozen and afraid, like Jack reckons she is when the post arrives.

 

[Falkor]

It would appear Trifle Defender is on holiday.

 

[MooBelle]

To the surprise of absolutely no one Jack has still not paid CCJ squig even though he sent her his bank details a couple of days ago.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Guest still has the #ThriftyKitchen hashtag in her profile. Clicking on it is, erm, interesting.

 

[shugabug23]

Just watching The Rig on prime and the sexiest voice on telly wonderful Mark Bonnar has given his book review on “The Kraken Wakes” and I feel it needs to be shared with the canal as it.. just fits

Spoiler: The Rig Review

3 episodes in.. lots of great actors (Martin Compston with his own accent!) but it’s turned a little Sci Fi which I wasn’t expecting. Will hang on as halfway through but if anyone has already watched, is it gonna be TOO much sci fi in the last 3? 🥱

 

[blueorchid]

It’s my-the

<<gavel>>

That title is perfection tenderstems