Jack Monroe #500 Tattle Was Right About Everything All Along!

[People-huv-tae-know]

Willkommen meine Damen und Herren to thread 500. Please make your way up the red carpet of doom where are hidden many chaoses and gleaming gems of hilarity. Find them all and you can make a pauper's crown using a trifle quiche as a base. Fold in your fat cloves of lies and you will have a perfect recipe for disaster.

Now to business, the thread title is by honorary frau Andy Lynes, a person who can actually cook. It was nominated by the esteemed equerries @hoopdedooand @houseofhoop. Please kneel for your knighthood, king Guest will touch you with her sword of Domocleese and everyone will cheer and applaud.

As for a recap, Guest has been quiet, no doubt grounded by her agent and George Michael. But prior to that, she was the best chess player ever. She outed herself as a royalist, made a vomit quiche, faked a recipe and forced all of this on the poor volunteers and recipients at the Big Help Out. All whilst positioned on a golden lav throne and snorting fat lines of coca snowla.

Today guest has been quiet because during a big dino nap with Dino snores, Guest has been dreaming about this.

Go forth canal and procreate or failing that, keep mithering, keep being forensic and keep your eyes peeled for grifters.

 

[Dogmuck]

I was first

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

I was second

 

[ScamSandwich]

Third?

 

[Dogmuck]

We could do this number thing until we get to thread 600? Jacks quiet, it’s an idea right?

 

[Hollaaa]

Third?

Just because you have a crown on...
Isa, the angry reacts are for the lols x

 

[Dogmuck]

Just because you have a crown on...

Shame we don’t have a frau named Richard who came 3rd innit?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Hopefully the vast majority of people who attempt her coronation quiche will do what I’d do and use ready made pastry in which case it will probably be ok, and the rest will see it’s not enough and manage to fix it by making more.

But then that’s also probably how she gets away with all of this, that most people who attempt something of hers see something won’t work and fix it but then forget they had to if it was relatively “simple” so she gets credit for something possibly only vaguely related to her recipe.

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

I still want to know what happened in Dordrecht.
I swear I’ll stay to thread 1000 until Old Harold or someone that knows Old Harold finds their way here to put this mithering ninnie out of her misery

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

We want to know all the about Jack's Tinder messages!

 

[hoopdedoo]

I'm just getting up after staying up late in a colonial time zone to watch the Coronation live. Such an honour! I will wear it with pride and serve you all to the best of my ability, everyone except guest. Go well.

 

[houseofhoop]

Willkommen meine Damen und Herren to thread 500. Please make your way up the red carpet of doom where are hidden many chaoses and gleaming gems of hilarity. Find them all and you can make a pauper's crown using a trifle quiche as a base. Fold in your fat cloves of lies and you will have a perfect recipe for disaster.

Now to business, the thread title is by honorary frau Andy Lynes, a person who can actually cook. It was nominated by the esteemed equerry @hoopdedoo. Please kneel for your knighthood, king Guest will touch you with her sword of Domocleese and everyone will cheer and applaud.

As for a recap, Guest has been quiet, no doubt grounded by her agent and George Michael. But prior to that, she was the best chess player ever. She outed herself as a royalist, made a vomit quiche, faked a recipe and forced all of this on the poor volunteers and recipients at the Big Help Out. All whilst positioned on a golden lav throne and snorting fat lines of coca snowla.

Today guest has been quiet because during a big dino nap with Dino snores, Guest has been dreaming about this.
View attachment 2153200

Go forth canal and procreate or failing that, keep mithering, keep being forensic and keep your eyes peeled for grifters.

Excuse you, it was I house of hoop!!! I know we are similar but really!! How disappointing.
lols I couldn’t give a tit really! I’m just happy we’re here!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Excuse you, it was I house of hoop!!! I know we are similar but really!! How disappointing.
lols I couldn’t give a tit really! I’m just happy we’re here!

Thread 500 starting off with a chaos......

It's what the pumbles would want.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Just because you have a crown on...
Isa, the angry reacts are for the lols x

Thank goodness because I was sweating like a grifter who has been asked for a refund.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I am so excited, there are no words. #500 and the Coronation. God save the sad ninny maven hausfrauen, long live their humour and every one of them shall continue to act in a shared mission as patron (not patreon) saint over glovegeons (RIP) and vulnerable people in order to protect them from grift.

Thanks, ninnies, it was and still is a ride. You brought me joy in tough times and I forever admire your kindness, warmheartedness and expertise.

 

[StatusWoe]

And I still want to know what happened in Dordrecht.

And Space Squig's Box!

 

[BonnyBabs]

God save our Queen of Slop

 

[Walkdengirl]

Woohoo we made it

 

[Geetbo]

Just here for thread 500.

Jack if you’re ever planning to post a photo of your fanny on Twitter, now is the time.

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

@houseofhoop - I know I digress but was your name born out of the FOD threads mocking their House of Horrors account and then it just slotted in perfectly on this thread with the rinsing hoops chaos? Because *chefs kiss* if that’s the case!