Jack Monroe #495 Guest and her mavens of manifesting misery

[Jelly Bean]

Thanks to @shugabug23 for thread title suggestion. Inspired by Guest herself in full TOOT TOOT mode
Your prize is first dibs on the yummy Coronation quiche Jack has been slaving over for many days now.

C Lit fest came and went. According to Guest she just droned on about herself as usual movingly spoke about personal traumas.
Btw doubters. Guest does not use filters on her photos and has not for many months now. Her smol waif like looks are achieved through makeup, good lighting, sobriety, gentle painstaking friends and privacy windows (whatever tf they are).
Proof.

She is also grimly alluding to a new special friend. Who may or may not be the ever charming Linda Riley.

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

First… and bringing ALL the filters

 

[HotesTilaire]

Second!

in our last thread…
Jack did a terrible before and after photo announcing that she’s just learned to apply make up - in a way that looks like blurry earrings. No filters!
Jack called us mavens, which we are. Get it in the Jacktionary, she thinks it’s an insult!
she also let slip that the ONS warned her that “nefarious forces” would try and talk down her amazing economic work. Sadly there are no witnesses or transcripts, we’ll have to take Jack’s word for it…oh.
Right at the end she chucked a breadcrumb so big, it obscured her nose, that she has a possible unquantifiable relationship with someone. Burger me, is a new romance on the horizon?

 

[RinsingHoops]

damn, too slow!

Third

 

[BlendedSlop]

Place your bets on Cashpoint's identity:

1. Big Linda
2. The paint shop owner she was stalking a while back
3. The "little Turkish barber" she became weirdly infatuated with for 24 hours (and whose shop actually seems pretty ££££)
4. Kit de Waal/Emeli Sande/Dame Kel
5. One of her Google exec crushes she alluded to during "That's not my fanny"
6. Some other sucker who's independently wealthy and/or well-connected

 

[kachoochoo]

fourth!

and the only thing I'm manifesting is speak now tv and also sleep!

jack can continue to duck off, blue tick wanker that she is

 

[imBUSY]

Coming from the past to ask if there is a link anyone can give me to explain the Guest business? I've gathered who Guest is but not why

 

[Jelly Bean]

Coming from the past to ask if there is a link anyone can give me to explain the Guest business? I've gathered who Guest is but not why

When she went to the Tina Turner musical with her sleb friends, in the Daily Mail she was only referred to as 'guest' .

 

[AyiaKnacker]

In this photo that @Brian Butterfield posted about 15 chaoses/24 hours ago, LR has more more than a hint of Leggy about her. A frightwig and desperation might just seal the deal.

 

[imBUSY]

When she went to the Tina Turner musical with her sleb friends, in the Daily Mail she was only referred to as 'guest' .

View attachment 2123069

That's amazing

 

[Geetbo]

She’s definitely shagging Big L. A new rich partner would totally explain the sudden return to LIGHTS ON.

 

[MistyWindows]

I haven’t been up to date but the press didn’t know who she was? HAHAHAHA
Boring arse, even with filters she looks so much older than she is! Don’t mean to be rude but what a hard faced cow.
Jack, get a ring on it with that crooked Linda. Sound of settling and all

 

[L3moning]

Place your bets on Cashpoint's identity:

1. Big Linda
2. The paint shop owner she was stalking a while back
3. The "little Turkish barber" she became weirdly infatuated with for 24 hours (and whose shop actually seems pretty ££££)
4. Kit de Waal/Emeli Sande/Dame Kel
5. One of her Google exec crushes she alluded to during "That's not my fanny"
6. Some other sucker who's independently wealthy and/or well-connected

I'd be surprised if its not Linda Riley.

Also, Maven to me will always be this guy:

Maven (wrestler) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She always seems to be at her happiest when she an old Harold or Linda. To be honest i only know about 3 Lindas and all of the are the biggest dickheads. They are my version of a karen) the problem with her being all lights on whilst getting laid is that they all LEAVE her eventually and she becomes a husk! She needs to work on herself and be comfortable with herself before shagging Lindas or Harolds, else when the tit hits the fan she will be howling and clawing again.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Aw no I don't think I can take another round of breakup-Jack

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Mavens of misery is totally not an insult Jack, we're loving it! I'm also laughing at her theory that that paps didn't recognise her because she hasn't got her tit tatts out, like she's such an edgy person that no other person has tatts on their arms!. What a dick

 

[Jemadah]

For a supposedly intelligent person it's hilarious and sad in equal measures that Jackanory still hasn't worked out if she just stopped lying about everything from her background to her phone filters to her Patreon rewards then we'd have no reason to discuss her.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Wow. Just caught up on least nights tweets (and see she’s dropped another couple of hundred followers overnight)….

Truly, only Jack Monroe can make “being happy” sound so vicious and petty

 

[reCAPTCHA]

If she thinks our critique of her lies is miserable, her judgement is worryingly askew. This thread is such a joy - filled with witty, hilarious, astute people. It always feels like an upbeat and friendly little corner of the internet

 

[Geetbo]

Aw no I don't think I can take another round of breakup-Jack

The only thing worse will be when/if someone actually marries her.