Jack Monroe #492 What a laconic and extraneous horn-clod she is

[reCAPTCHA]

Thread title unwittingly suggested by @traumatised sideboard and nominated by @Valiofthedolls and wins with 48 votes.

I can’t arsed doing a re-cap….do you want me to stop breathing?

Now duck off.

 

[houseofhoop]

Thread title unwittingly suggested by @traumatised sideboard and nominated by @Valiofthedolls and wins with 48 votes.

I can’t arsed doing a re-cap….do you want me to stop breathing?

Now duck off.

duck off yourself and thank you for all you do

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I am boggling my head trying to imagine what a horn clod might be. Never been sure what a clod horn is either though I think I know what a clod hopper is.

 

[Geetbo]

A chaos is brewing fraus. Jack has decided to bring down the government with her razor sharp wit.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

We spent much of last thread mithering about historical Jack cringes, so please feel free to skim over it if you’re new. And don’t forget to read the meticulous forensic wiki (pink button) compiled by the canal. There are a lot of oddities in the Jackiverse and it’s best for everyone to have their reference books to hand.

Some of us are extremely excited for her appearance at Cambridge Lit Fest on Saturday, which may or may not have hecklers in the audience, I guess we will have to wait and find out. If anyone is intending to go along and heckle we would suggest sticking to simple, direct, fact-based heckles aimed at accountability - like “Jack, where is the money you took from people to sue Lee Anderson?” or “Jack, approximately how much money have you received via Patreon and PayPal?” or “Jack, have you declared your Patreon and PayPal income to HMRC?”
TIA x

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

A chaos is brewing fraus. Jack has decided to bring down the government with her razor sharp wit.

But it’s not Tuesday!

 

[Mr Krabs]

A chaos is brewing fraus. Jack has decided to bring down the government with her razor sharp wit.

Ooooh. Wouldn’t want to be Rish mate right now.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Finally got to look at the responses to Jack's tweet, including her own replies, and at this

What a shyster. She writes maybe three or four articles per year for them as a freelancer, she's not even close to being a regular contributor like she's trying to make herself out to be. And somehow I doubt the legal dept at the Guardian spends much time at all on freelance opinion pieces.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Watch out Rishi, Erin Crockoshit is on your case.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

I am boggling my head trying to imagine what a horn clod might be. Never been sure what a clod horn is either though I think I know what a clod hopper is.

Here you go tender one,

 

[Django]

A chaos is brewing fraus. Jack has decided to bring down the government with her razor sharp wit.

Jack is going to kill the ebil Tories with her hot takes about child care (for people who go to work) and tax avoidance.. oh wait.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

I have been a Frau for a good year now and only just had cause to refer to the Wiki.

My god ninnies….it is a excruciatingly, painstakingly beautiful record of Miss Monroe in all her awfulness. I am in awe of how thorough it is- a bloody work of art

Shame I work full-time (in an honest job) and take care of my kids (who live with me full-time) or I might actually find the time to read it properly…..

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

What does she mean she’s ‘been waiting for this’ anyway?

Is that why she hasn’t moved?

 

[NellieBoo]

A chaos is brewing fraus. Jack has decided to bring down the government with her razor sharp wit.

Absolutely. It's underfoot. Jack has been peripatetic about it until now.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

What a shyster. She writes maybe three or four articles per year for them as a freelancer, she's not even close to being a regular contributor like she's trying to make herself out to be. And somehow I doubt the legal dept at the Guardian spends much time at all on freelance opinion pieces.

She’s not been doing so well there since she lost her slop column back in 2015.

2019 was a BUMPER YEAR for Jack. 2014 was a tit YEAR for everyone who read the Guardian.

PS mither if she hadn’t done the two posts lying about magically beating alcoholism and been forced to write the post thanking her son’s dad in 2019, she’d only have 4 that year.

Jack’s Guardian “Bylines is everywhere” per year.
2023 0
2022 3
2021 1
2020 4
2019 7
2018 3
2017 2
2016 5
2015 26
2014 55
2013 24 starting in July

 

[Amanda Lin]

As she is back in da haus … I’m workshopping some tweets for her. I know she is between agents, it’s a kindness.

1. Get up in the Coronation quiche’s niche. Slate that child’s creation and knock up the best quiche of all time. (Photos and recipes as ever; to follow)

2. Speaking for myself, I love a sofa update. (See I am poor, I sleep on my £4K sofa)

3. some slop, give the people what they want Jack.

4. Pigskin hat selfie whilst softly mashing up a sosig # peakygrinder

 

[Geetbo]

As she is back in da haus … I’m workshopping some tweets for her. I know she is between agents, it’s a kindness.

1. Get up in the Coronation quiche’s niche. Slate that child’s creation and knock up the best quiche of all time. (Photos and recipes as ever; to follow)

2. Speaking for myself, I love a sofa update. (See I am poor, I sleep on my £4K sofa)

3. some slop, give the people what they want Jack.

4. Pigskin hat selfie whilst softly mashing up a sosig # peakygrinder

I’ve just been looking at that coronation quiche recipe. It’s so crap, it reads like something Jack would tit out.

 

[Amanda Lin]

I’ve just been looking at that coronation quiche recipe. It’s so crap, it reads like something Jack would tit out.

Did she enter the competition under a nom de guerre to prove to us she could cook?

She does love the royals.

 

[Emmapism]

Ahahaha Erin Crockoshit Too early too early

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Debora Robertson, whose Substack I really recommend, has just sent out a very touching newsletter about her father, who has sadly just passed away. She finished the newsletter saying "I will take a couple of weeks off from writing to be with my family, I am sure you will understand. For those of you who subscribe weekly, I will suspend your payments for that time, and for those of you who subscribe yearly, I will add these extra weeks to your subscription. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding."

Jack can't even manage to find the pause button on her Patreon, let alone actually click it despite having failed to send anything out for a bajillion months; while other writers are out there dealing with actual real life problems and manage to handle it with grace.