Jack Monroe #485 I mostly eat with a spoon these days

[Jelly Bean]

Thanks to dear heart @Marmalade Atkins for thread title suggestion. Jack made this startling revelation on her confidential official ouchy shoulder report. The startling bit being nobody realised she had ever used anything else due to SLOP.
(Your reward is all Jack's unwanted forks and knives).
Yes Jack has taken to her bed/sofa for several days for reasons. But is being her usual stoic self and not complaining.
Her birthday is tomorrow (doesn't like to talk about it) and various family member and 'friends' have drawn the short straw to visit at allocated times to hear her drone on about not being able to brush her hair. She has an official document to prove it.
She is appearing at Hay Festival in May to talk about the VBI No seriously it actually says that.

 

[Whatisgoingonlol]

I'm literally disabled and make less of a fuss than this bellend. Should post a questionnaire on Twitter for the clout

 

[SmillieKylie]

A tale of two tweets.

One from Martin Lewis, has his critics, but fights the fight and often gets results…..name-checked in HOC yesterday for helping to stop a proposed rise in energy costs, saving many people from sinking into deeper debt in the coming months.

One from a Smol Pixie, beloved by the neck-beards, and a champion for the masses according to her ‘Twitter Comment’s Club’, fighting the fight with her poverty cosplay….shoulder bit ouchy, send casho’s, not saving many people from sinking into deeper debt in the coming months

Poverty Activist they say ……

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Damn Jack for gazumping #sausageface with her own words.

 

[Whatisgoingonlol]

Surejan.gif

I'll put a fiver on the doc saying gently tenderly stoically that she'll be fine and we never hear about a shoulder replacement again. But "back to review it soon" or something

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Lest we forget Ninnies, less that a fortnight ago Jack was Happy & Well.

So well in fact, that she was able to drill holes in tin cans, add a tealight & make lethal lanterns.

Despite there being a Junior doctors strike, she has had the full works & produced a piece of paper to confirm her ouchiness.

Utter bollocks of course, so The Canal are battening down for extreme turbulence shortly, once squigs start asking pertinent questions.

Make sure you have all made a sandwich & have had a piss Dearhearts .

 

[EllaEm87]

Surely a fork is easier to eat with than a spoon? Unless slop.

 

[Jelly Bean]

View attachment 2033378


Surejan.gif

I'll put a fiver on the doc saying gently tenderly stoically that she'll be fine and we never hear about a shoulder replacement again. But "back to review it soon" or something

Wouldn't a first option be to stop sleeping on a bleeping sofa if your shoulder is *that* bad? Explore that before extensive surgery? Why bother with surgery if the intention is to keep sleeping on sofas? With heavy dogs lying on you?

 

[Shimmering]

She really angers me when she does this because I mentioned before i have a family member who has a shoulder that has literally crumbled away as in doctors have told her there is basically no shoulder left (I'm paraphrasing and not a doctor). The impact on their life is immense and they are in dreadful pain. The waiting list for a replacement is so long they have been advised to go private however they don't have the £20k required so they sit and suffer.

How can she sit there and lie like this? It genuinely baffles me.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Poverty Activist they say ……

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again for page one… in her defence, Jack’s never said if she’s campaigning against - or for - poverty

 

[Jelly Bean]

She really angers me when she does this because I mentioned before i have a family member who has a shoulder that has literally crumbled away as in doctors have told her there is basically no shoulder left (I'm paraphrasing and not a doctor). The impact on their life is immense and they are in dreadful pain. The waiting list for a replacement is so long they have been advised to go private however they don't have the £20k required so they sit and suffer.

How can she sit there and lie like this? It genuinely baffles me.

This is it. Jack might sometimes possibly have a sore shoulder, but she isn't disabled by it. No way. She packs up a house for frigging months, carries backpacks of groceries, carried her large dog two miles to the vet, cycles, hammers holes in things, can lean on her front propped up on her elbows, talks about painting walls.
I don't get why a surgeon would even consider for one second she is a candidate for a replacement (if true obviously).

 

[Ablemabel]

She really angers me when she does this because I mentioned before i have a family member who has a shoulder that has literally crumbled away as in doctors have told her there is basically no shoulder left (I'm paraphrasing and not a doctor). The impact on their life is immense and they are in dreadful pain. The waiting list for a replacement is so long they have been advised to go private however they don't have the £20k required so they sit and suffer.

How can she sit there and lie like this? It genuinely baffles me.

It makes me angry too.

Its's an insult to people with genuine significant problems, as well as an insult to the entire medical profession, who she seems to take for complete idiots.

I once heard a psychiatrist talk about someone who said they are unable to go out unaccompanied, but also said that when they go out to the shops alone, they struggle because they can't always remember what they need to get. When the inconsistency was pointed out to them they became very angry.

Said Psych said this is classic for malingers, whereas someone with genuine complaints wouldn't react angrily to such a question.

Makes you think.

 

[StringyMango]

She's talking about joint replacement?
duck right off
I've got two titanium/ceramic/ polythene hips and bone grafts
Twackie doing physio to get the best results?
Bollocks

 

[Ablemabel]

This is it. Jack might sometimes possibly have a sore shoulder, but she isn't disabled by it. No way. She packs up a house for frigging months, carries backpacks of groceries, carried her large dog two miles to the vet, cycles, hammers holes in things, can lean on her front propped up on her elbows, talks about painting walls.
I don't get why a surgeon would even consider for one second she is a candidate for a replacement (if true obviously).

Of course they wouldn't. They exhaust other options first, unless it was so serious,but as you said I can't imagine for one minute that someone doing all the above would meet that criteria, so they'd look first at physio, then steroid injections, then perhaps an arthroscopy etc. and if they can't find any obvious explanation they'd refer her to the pain clinic and given prior form, imagine what a nightmare that would be.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The first mention of a shoulder replacement was in July 2022:

 

[Flivver]

If it’s ouchie shoulder week, the ouchie teef must be ok. Perhaps she’ll deploy the teef tomorrow for double birthday ouchies.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

I feel sorry for the landlady of the bungahouse, I bet she can't wait to see the back of the scruffy malingerer

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Of course they wouldn't. They exhaust other options first, unless it was so serious,but as you said I can't imagine for one minute that someone doing all the above would meet that criteria, so they'd look first at physio, then steroid injections, then perhaps an arthroscopy etc. and if they can't find any obvious explanation they'd refer her to the pain clinic and given prior form, imagine what a nightmare that would be.

I don’t know anything about this but surely her history with Tramadol will cause issues at the pain clinic for any meds they may wish to give her. Im mithering now as I haven’t got a clue around these things.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Auntie Pat is NOT IMPRESSED with Jack’s birthday eve lying, sadfishing and malingering

Spoiler: WARNED.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Just realised this ouchy shoulder situation must result in the ‘Wild Camping’ planned for later this year to now be cancelled. Very disappointed, was looking forward to the fun and laughs those trips would bring…a sad day indeed.