Jack Monroe #484 Straight out of comté

[Captainmouse]

Welcome to new thread title by @GigglePops nominated by @Mr Krabs
You both win a signed copy of thrifty kitchen.

Jack is sort of lurking, claims not to have moved, but the canal are undecided on the validity of this claim. She was recently on the wireless once again wanging on about stuff for which she is unqualified to talk.

Has another talk booked, whoopee.

Please add to recap and don’t forget the pink button for all things mackie, highlight thread title nominations towards the end of the thread, no swears please.

Previous thread here

Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

I can do a thread but will need thread title and recap

tattle.life

 

[BlendedSlop]

She also filled her 120 hour working week by making some candle holders out of old bean tins. If that doesn't help the poors through the cost of living crisis, nothing will!

First!

 

[Emmapism]

Thanks for doing the do @Captainmouse

Checked in on the four copies of Grifty in my supermarket again today. The little nod I do in their direction 'ah there she is, not selling' puts a spring in my step as I grab my basket. It's like a comfort blanket at this point.

Am I hater who thinks grifters and liars should get their just desserts? YES, ABSOLUTELY.

Now duck off x

 

[blueorchid]

The thread title is <<chefs kiss>>

 

[BlendedSlop]

Re: the nutrition degree, she said just over a year ago that she had to push it back for a year because she'd taken too much on (bleeping LOL). Now it's probably been postponed again so she can spend another year "decluttering" in preparation for the most laborious house move in history/not finishing the VBI.

(Original screenshot by @Marmalade Atkins )

What she actually meant is that she's such an insufferable narc that she couldn't handle being given critical feedback, instead of her lecturers just lavishing her in praise and telling her she already knows all they have to teach her. Probably thought they'd just accept any old shite she submitted, like everyone who's ever employed her.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Jack has softly, gently done bugger all. She had a few minutes to honk on Times Radio and honestly, Jack, you need to get an appointment with an ENT specialist pronto because, girl, you sound like you've got some serious issues going on.

Has she moved or is she still in the bungamansion?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

If that was a year ago, perhaps this is why she has been BUSY! Moving and doing a degree is hard work, but in reailty we all know she is poking holes in things and making fire and burning hazards.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Recap: Jack is still not bothering to promote anything good that goes on locally to her. Admittedly that’s probably mostly because everyone in Southend thinks she’s a c***, and wouldn’t want anyone thinking they were associated with her in any way

Though I’m sure there are a couple of small businesses who would happily accept a few grand to let her talk about them …. which is the reverse of how a celeb endorsement usually works, but she’s so toxic that nobody’s actually going to want to pay her to be their spokestwit.

 

[enhanced forest]

i think i would've been here last march but maybe not as regular a visitor as now - can we expect a birthday chaos on friday?

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

I'm presuming the "degree" is with the OU, since she only has four and a half GCSE's.

It's been a few years since I started my OU degree, and I have taken a break, because of actual real work and real family. But, checking the website to make sure things haven't changed drastically.

There are no academic entry requirements for OU degrees - however, they strongly recommend taking their free short courses to equip you with the necessary study skills if you have been out of education for some time (obviously she's too clever to need to do that)

It's a credit based system, and you can mix and match which courses to take but you have to take specific courses at the beginning, which are essentially the equivalent of access level.

In my experience (and also, my sister's who is currently doing a Masters with the OU, after getting her BA at a bricks and mortar Uni) you're expected to consider and write about the material that you're given.

Not just google random tit.

 

[Feck]

Jack has done many hurtful things in the past but, never revealing the contents of Spaceman's box still stings a little. Damn you, Monroe. Fingers crossed for a weekend chaos. She must must be itching to tweet about the BBC. Go on, Jack, you know you want to.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack made some new slops out of 50p jar crab paste from Asda and other gruesomely mismatched ingredients (said paste may or may not be from sustainable fisheries, squig who asked and the rest of the world are still waiting for the answer Jack promised the next day when she wasn’t in bed SLEEPING ON THE SOFA)

Said crap paste dindins were displayed as Evidence that random capitalization Jack is Very Happy and Well: (TOOT TOOT!) while producing “food” that looks like Someone and Possibly also their Dog has been Very Unwell Indeed on the Plate and in the Pan.

Plus ca change

*the crap paste is ~not~ from sustainable fisheries. And does not contain much in the way of

 

[WhyYouCry?]

My 90 year old grandmother does the random capitalisation thing that Jack does, for example she’ll text me (yes, she does text!) saying things like ‘I went for lunch at the weekend and it was Delicious, I had a Lovely Time’. She also calls my youngest child ‘Small Boy’. Is she Jack?! Or does Jack just have the habits and mannerisms of a 90 year old?

 

[Foxvint]

Can't quote from last thread but where she said it was Leggys mates 'fave pastime' to ask her where she went to uni - in a crowded field that's 1 of my fave Jackanory claims. These well known names in journalism and media, these sharp minds generating the talking points of the day, what's the hot topic over a dinner party table- where their mates irritating new bird went to uni. Of course. That's plausible. They must've done cartwheels when Leggy dumped her, can you imagine the eye rolls when she turned up with that abrasive twit in tow.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Degree Mither

Spoiler

I strongly suspect Jack is lying about ever really starting that degree. And she’s DEFINITELY lying if she’s claiming that this

was researched as any part of it at all. Nutrition BSc degrees are very science-heavy (clue’s in the Bachelor of SCIENCE, Jack) so the fact she’d be researching that for a biochemistry or physiology class is just ludicrous.

In fact, the OU don’t offer that degree (just like they didn’t actually offer the degree the last time she claimed to be actually doing a degree with them-that they didn’t even actually offer). But there is indeed a five year degree with the first four years studied online

Nutritional Therapy | University of West London

On this vocational distance-learning course (supplemented by study days at UWL) you'll study anatomy, physiology, basic biochemistry and the study of named diseases (pathology) as it relates to the role of nutritional therapist.

www.uwl.ac.uk

If she did indeed start it and was “researching” all that tit as part of it, she was probably kicked out for failing the very first module by completely ignoring (and likely not understanding and refusing to engage with) the actual subject matter

Yet again Jack fucks up and makes herself look a total twit by choosing showing off over doing literally two minutes perfunctory “research” online.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Degree Mither

Spoiler

View attachment 2020485
I strongly suspect Jack is lying about ever really starting that degree. And she’s DEFINITELY lying if she’s claiming that this
View attachment 2020481
was researched as any part of it at all. Nutrition BSc degrees are very science-heavy (clue’s in the Bachelor of SCIENCE, Jack) so the fact she’d be researching that for a biochemistry or physiology class is just ludicrous.

In fact, the OU don’t offer that degree (just like they didn’t actually offer the degree the last time she claimed to be actually doing a degree with them-that they didn’t even actually offer). But there is indeed a five year degree with the first four years studied online
View attachment 2020490

Nutritional Therapy | University of West London

On this vocational distance-learning course (supplemented by study days at UWL) you'll study anatomy, physiology, basic biochemistry and the study of named diseases (pathology) as it relates to the role of nutritional therapist.

www.uwl.ac.uk

If she did indeed start it and was “researching” all that tit as part of it, she was probably kicked out for failing the very first module by completely ignoring (and likely not understanding and refusing to engage with) the actual subject matter

View attachment 2020494
Yet again Jack fucks up and makes herself look a total twit by choosing showing off over doing literally two minutes perfunctory “research” online.

Oh that’s rung a bell, someone I knew was a medical sciencey nutrition person, and I remember she was very dismissive of “nutritional therapy” as being Gillian McKeith sort of poo woo. Would be pretty hilarious if Jack became the next Gillian McKeith, although how would anyone be able to tell the difference between bowls of her cooking and people’s poo samples?

 

[Cookiecookie]

Degree Mither

Spoiler

View attachment 2020485
I strongly suspect Jack is lying about ever really starting that degree. And she’s DEFINITELY lying if she’s claiming that this
View attachment 2020481
was researched as any part of it at all. Nutrition BSc degrees are very science-heavy (clue’s in the Bachelor of SCIENCE, Jack) so the fact she’d be researching that for a biochemistry or physiology class is just ludicrous.

In fact, the OU don’t offer that degree (just like they didn’t actually offer the degree the last time she claimed to be actually doing a degree with them-that they didn’t even actually offer). But there is indeed a five year degree with the first four years studied online
View attachment 2020490

Nutritional Therapy | University of West London

On this vocational distance-learning course (supplemented by study days at UWL) you'll study anatomy, physiology, basic biochemistry and the study of named diseases (pathology) as it relates to the role of nutritional therapist.

www.uwl.ac.uk

If she did indeed start it and was “researching” all that tit as part of it, she was probably kicked out for failing the very first module by completely ignoring (and likely not understanding and refusing to engage with) the actual subject matter

View attachment 2020494
Yet again Jack fucks up and makes herself look a total twit by choosing showing off over doing literally two minutes perfunctory “research” online.

I think the 'research' one was her going off on one of her conspiracy theories, rather than actual studying type research. There's no way she could do a degree.

 

[Foxvint]

Also the whole point of that blag dinner party/uni story was to portray herself as a working class woman being sneered at by the middle classes. Except these people would have recognised Jack as solidly middle class same as themselves, graduate or not. Jack must've felt uncomfortable because she clearly picked up on their dislike of her so she spun that mean spirited story about them to her thousands of followers. They didn't dislike you cos of class prejudice Jack. They disliked you cos you're an hole.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Can't quote from last thread but where she said it was Leggys mates 'fave pastime' to ask her where she went to uni - in a crowded field that's 1 of my fave Jackanory claims. These well known names in journalism and media, these sharp minds generating the talking points of the day, what's the hot topic over a dinner party table- where their mates irritating new bird went to uni. Of course. That's plausible. They must've done cartwheels when Leggy dumped her, can you imagine the eye rolls when she turned up with that abrasive twit in tow.

Seems like Jack was barely tolerated.

Even when she returned to the Groucho Club for Brexit night everyone ignored her. Jack sat in a corner frantically scribbling and shouting about Redcarr. No one took a blind bit of notice.

 

[Foxvint]

I would suggest a woman who frequently talks about having had an ED in a perversely proud and inconsiderate way and who insists a family can be fed well on £20 a week and from any mismatched tins the food bank gives is absolutely not the right candidate for a qualification in nutrition until she drops those dangerous assertions she very publicly makes. But no worries. Cos it won't happen.