Jack Monroe #480 Jack Monroe: McPoverty and a side of lies

[Dogmuck]

Welcome to our new thread. Words are the title of Jacks recent podcast interview with Social Change, smartly found and nominated by our dear heart @Veronicaaa, congratulations V, you win a Paper Mate flex grip ultra so you can continue to write beautiful quarter hacks.

Any more chat from the rest of you ninnies about what booze made ya and the lot of you will be getting CCJs - WARNED!

Jack came back and asked what everyone’s favourite pen was, hers is a Paper Mate flex grip ultra FYI, but she loves and has tried every other pen that the comments club suggested. Then she LEFT. The cable have spent this quiet period mithering about booze and who they look like.

Small claims squig has now applied for a CCJ as Jack did not submit (didn’t respond) a defence to the claim. Tattlers are baffled why Jack would allow an amount of £45 to get to CCJ stage:

Sorry can’t think of anything else, please add.

If you’re new around here please take a look at the WIKI, which is the pink button will at the top of the page. Thread title nominations…whatevs.

Come back Jack we need a chaos.

*Mod Edit.
Though Jack is being quiet please keep posts on topic. Thanks all*

 

[houseofhoop]

Love you @Dogmuck
---
Just gunna leave this here

 

[Geetbo]

We got WARNED by the mods for going off topic. But on the plus side discovered that we collectively resemble the cast of poor series of I'm a Celebrity, so every cloud.

 

[lilykestrel]

Jack briefly came out of hermitude to tell somebody suggesting she might like The Queen's Gambit that she's seen it... twice. Nobody's sure if this means not having Netflix was a lie or if one of her many benefactory friends softly gently scooped her onto their sofa.

 

[Elastoblast]

CCJ Jack mithering...started typing on the last thread bit I took too long!

When she did the Vinted project she said she had multiple bin bags of clothes to sell. That’s insane. She’s so lazy that I’m guessing those clothes ended up in a skip rather than being donated too. Or just packed and ready to hoard the next house.

I don’t think she’s paying the CCJ because she’s desperate for bailiffs to come to the house so she can play the victim. Imagine the social media attention if some blokes show up at her house. The rage grans will be lining up to send her £45 each because poor Jack shouldn’t have to pay her bills.

Imagine the scenes at the crappy Bungalow as the Beat the Bailiffs squad turn up with the channel 5 camera crew in tow.
Narrator....it's 5 am and Kev and Bill have arrived in Shoebury hoping to catch the occupant of a spacious bungalow before they leave for work
Kev and Bill - knock on door for ten minutes. Try ringing a doorbell. No response
Narrator - it's raining and despite lights being on and a dog barking no-one is answering the door. Kev manoeuvres their van to block the skip filled driveway and decide to wait.
Narrator - it's 8 am and still no sign of life in the bungalow
Narrator - it's 10 am and still no one is answering the door. Kev leaves for a piss and a sandwich
Narrator - it's 12 noon and despite some "cooking" odours emitting from the back of the bungalow still noone is answering the door. It's Bill's turn for a piss and a sandwich break.
Narrator - it's now 2pm and Kev and Bill can see some movement in the Bungalow. They knock at the door again.
Cut to front door opening slowly. A dishevelled slop goblin appears. Honking noisily
Narrator - despite repeated attempts to reason with the debtor they refuse to admit they owe any money or that they have any money.
Bill - they've racked up another few hundred quid just by not answering the door today. And offering court appointed officials inexplicable eggs and slow cooker tea just doesn't cut it.
Cut to Kev and Bill driving off talking about edible food. Bill's craving a burger for some reason

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I bought a nice pen yesterday to write a last minute panic bday card but I can't remember what it's called for the same reasons I had a last minute panic bday card to write. Mainly stupid adhd brain which can remember exactly how excruciatingly I embarrassed myself when I was seven but not what day my nana's bday is even though I have been sending her cards for 25+ years. USELESS.

I am currently between projects and I DEMAND A CHAOS to entertain me. @Geetbo can you check your waters pls, you sensed the kraken awakening last time.

 

[Geetbo]

I bought a nice pen yesterday to write a last minute panic bday card but I can't remember what it's called for the same reasons I had a last minute panic bday card to write. Mainly stupid adhd brain which can remember exactly how excruciatingly I embarrassed myself when I was seven but not what day my nana's bday is even though I have been sending her cards for 25+ years. USELESS.

I am currently between projects and I DEMAND A CHAOS to entertain me. @Geetbo can you check your waters pls, you sensed the kraken awakening last time.

I'm feeling no stirrings. Either the gift has deserted me or she is unconscious in the bungahouse, covered in burger sauce and lettuce.

 

[Ablemabel]

Oh dear Ninnies.

Am I Jack?

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

So, Jack Monroe claims that she’s been told she looks like:-

Eva Green

Keira Knightley

Lily Allen

Natalie Portman and

Ruby Rose.

This Jack Monroe? Utterly delusional. And typical Jack Monroe thought process.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Is it on Topic to say I freaking love the title of this topic that's about Jack?
Probably. Who knows.

The PR Podcast hasn't gone down well I see. I couldn't bare to listen to even a second of it. It's half term, feeding the dicks at the local river.gets.me.all the honking I can handle tbh.

 

[Mr Krabs]

CCJ Jack mithering...started typing on the last thread bit I took too long!
Imagine the scenes at the crappy Bungalow as the Beat the Bailiffs squad turn up with the channel 5 camera crew in tow.
Narrator....it's 5 am and Kev and Bill have arrived in Shoebury hoping to catch the occupant of a spacious bungalow before they leave for work
Kev and Bill - knock on door for ten minutes. Try ringing a doorbell. No response
Narrator - it's raining and despite lights being on and a dog barking no-one is answering the door. Kev manoeuvres their van to block the skip filled driveway and decide to wait.
Narrator - it's 8 am and still no sign of life in the bungalow
Narrator - it's 10 am and still no one is answering the door. Kev leaves for a piss and a sandwich
Narrator - it's 12 noon and despite some "cooking" odours emitting from the back of the bungalow still noone is answering the door. It's Bill's turn for a piss and a sandwich break.
Narrator - it's now 2pm and Kev and Bill can see some movement in the Bungalow. They knock at the door again.
Cut to front door opening slowly. A dishevelled slop goblin appears. Honking noisily
Narrator - despite repeated attempts to reason with the debtor they refuse to admit they owe any money or that they have any money.
Bill - they've racked up another few hundred quid just by not answering the door today. And offering court appointed officials inexplicable eggs and slow cooker tea just doesn't cut it.
Cut to Kev and Bill driving off talking about edible food. Bill's craving a burger for some reason

They could pixelate her face but the honk would give her away instantly.

I’ve not watched these bailiff shows for years but don’t they add massive fees that the indebted person has to pay? So it won’t be CCJ squig who is out of pocket, but rather it’ll be added to the debt for Jack?

 

[houseofhoop]

Is it on Topic to say I freaking love the title of this topic that's about Jack?
Probably. Who knows.

The PR Podcast hasn't gone down well I see. I couldn't bare to listen to even a second of it. It's half term, feeding the dicks at the local river.gets.me.all the honking I can handle tbh.

I love a good auto

 

[valetdecoeur]

The Bungahouse lease/rental has expired so surely she must have moved?
I can't believe she would be able to resist posting some shots of the 45,000 boxes crammed into the ver ver smol flatlette in which she will be sofa surfing...
Maybe the flatlette has fallen through, or isn't ready.
Just maybe she's moved back to Mum and Dad's in the interim and is unallowed/too shamed to post any pictures.... hence the silence (apart from pens, obvs).

 

[Dogmuck]

I believe Jack is in her forever home, we know the deadline for moving out of the crappy bungahouse has passed. I believe she’s had the new pad for some time now but having a new pad AND renting isn’t a great look for a soap boiling pov. The fact she’s in her new pad means she’s BUSY and double exhausted, but mostly can’t do her usual photos of Content bounding around and there’s only so many photos of Cooper, on her grey sofa or her SBs bed, saying “floof” even her wonderful (everyone’s lovely here) comments Club can endure.

She has to be socking it around Twitter somewhere because there’s no way on gods green earth she’s cured her decade long twitter addiction.

 

[Universal]

Its the last I will say on it but I do get JM self promotion vibes from the housing activist Kwajo. On top of the Go Fund Me of c£27k he will be earning a salary from each of the TV programmes and appearances. So, it could be quite lucrative being an 'activist'.

He has a degree in Business Entrepreneurship and Innovation, which if you were in to self promotion, would come in handy. He is represented by YMU Agents who would negotiate any appearance fee on his behalf.

I have met him and dont think he is of good faith, or maybe JM has got me cynical about everyone?

 

[Jelly Bean]

I believe Jack is in her forever home, we know the deadline for moving out of the crappy bungahouse has passed. I believe she’s had the new pad for some time now but having a new pad AND renting isn’t a great look for a soap boiling pov. The fact she’s in her new pad means she’s BUSY and double exhausted, but mostly can’t do her usual photos of Content bounding around and there’s only so many photos of Cooper, on her grey sofa or her SBs bed, saying “floof” even her wonderful (everyone’s lovely here) comments Club can endure.

She has to be socking it around Twitter somewhere because there’s no way on gods green earth she’s cured her decade long twitter addiction.

When she tweeted a few weeks ago that unhinged haterz had screenshotted photos of one bed flats for sale on Rightmove I think that touched a nerve. I don't think she is worried about her exact location being revealed but that she has actually bought somewhere. After denying it. Hence lack of recent photos.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Its the last I will say on it but I do get JM self promotion vibes from the housing activist Kwajo. On top of the Go Fund Me of c£27k he will be earning a salary from each of the TV programmes and appearances. So, it could be quite lucrative being an 'activist'.

He has a degree in Business Entrepreneurship and Innovation, which if you were in to self promotion, would come in handy. He is represented by YMU Agents who would negotiate any appearance fee on his behalf.

I have met him and dont think he is of good faith, or maybe JM has got me cynical about everyone?

I think a lot of the activists are like this to be honest, which is part of why JM gets away with it - it’s a very risky decision to call her out if she knows of a skeleton or two in your closet. I think she can be on the surface very convincing and appealing so she probably got a lot of dirt before people realised who she was (esp when with Leggy) and it’s done her very well.

When she tweeted a few weeks ago that unhinged haterz had screenshotted photos of one bed flats for sale on Rightmove I think that touched a nerve. I don't think she is worried about her exact location being revealed but that she has actually bought somewhere. After denying it. Hence lack of recent photos.

I think she’s baiting the obsessed squigs on Twitter and other places (and baiting here to a lesser extent but it’s more likely to work to her advantage on the hellsite) - she wants listings posted and she’s desperately hoping someone will post about the neighbours, hence her giving the cop detail, so she can claim they’ve doxxed what they thought was her new flat and doxxed the neighbours too but “it’s not even that one”.

ETA: also the three door detail. That’s very specific and as soon as she said there was matching of that to the listings - it just screamed setting a trap to me. Worth bearing in mind, Jack can also search the listings and pick details to use as her own and when she explains she has, the squigs won’t blink at her having done it to “protect her privacy” or “highlight harassment”.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

When she tweeted a few weeks ago that unhinged haterz had screenshotted photos of one bed flats for sale on Rightmove I think that touched a nerve. I don't think she is worried about her exact location being revealed but that she has actually bought somewhere. After denying it. Hence lack of recent photos.

I have faith that she won't be able to resist for long! Showing off is in her genes.

 

[Dogmuck]

When she tweeted a few weeks ago that unhinged haterz had screenshotted photos of one bed flats for sale on Rightmove I think that touched a nerve. I don't think she is worried about her exact location being revealed but that she has actually bought somewhere. After denying it. Hence lack of recent photos.

agree with ya wobbly beans - other than the performative packing box/giveaway filing cabinets (which could have been done anytime in the last 6 months and may I add she posted the cabinet photos on a Sunday saying “just donated” like which community organisation is taking stuff on a Sunday?) and close ups of the sofa with her scabby legs/bedding/AA coins/drink or one of her animals, there’s been nowt clearly depicting the crappy bungahouse since early January.

 

[Katkat]

Great thread title but for me it’ll never top ‘Foghorn Beghorn.’