Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

[Humblepumble]

Apols if it's already been mentioned but wtf is this

A coherent single mum? Implying that other single mums, what, can't string a sentence together?

And this? If those people are so poor that they have no voice and are invisible, why are you, greenbelt festival and you, Jack, not sharing some of your platform and giving more people a voice? Why not speak to people who are are actually experiencing poverty right now. Would that not be a bit more relevant anyway than someone recounting for the 1001st time a story that strangely changes a little bit each the they tell it.

Who tf goes to these talks and walks away feeling inspired to action or like they have learnt something? This kind of shite is everything that is wrong with our society and why social mobility is still really bad in the UK.

Sorry, angry. WARNED.

Edited so that screenies are smaller

 

[Toxteth O'Grady]

 

[Ablemabel]

As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls

Spoiler

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“What? Lil Ol’ Me?”

Spoiler

“Why yes, yes I AM too pretty to be poor! Thankspaceyou for noticing! Now, just how rich are you?”
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That, what I can only assume is bread and butter pudding, looks like she's spatchcocked a baby sloth.

 

[Deeznutslol]

"My parents were foster carers and from the age of 5 I've known full well, far too much about the darkest underbelly of the world, far too much about trauma, abuse, how difficult things can be...I was woken up in the night by girls as young as 8 who would tell me stories about things household members had done to them"

The bit after was awful too, where she talks about how the home was a ‘revolving door’ of children coming in and out and how hard it was for her to make a friend and then have them leave. Err no Jack, I’ve been in foster care before and trust me, it is far more fucking traumatic for the child in care who has had their whole life turned upside down.

I’ve just got to the sewerside bit and I actually cannot get over the fact that she has completely changed the method of how she did it, when in that other news article yday she was claiming to have slit her wrists??? She’s fucking sick in the head man, it’s horrendous.

 

[Emmapism]

I'd like to not hear from Jack again until she's moved. If I read another post about how this move has been difficult (but also something she's great at because she's moved 500 times) I'm going to scream.

It had occured to me that when Jack said she was sofa surfing she literally meant surfing from sofa to sofa as at one point she had about three.

When people signed up to her Patreon I don't think they imagined Jack playing Floor is Lava in her living room, whilst pretending to do something about poverty in the UK.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I have transcription software so I could transcribe the Greenbelt talks and add to the media? Will save us having to listen to the honk.

I transcribed edinburgh which is on my laptop somewhere (a doc calls Jack’s lies iirc)

 

[Mr Krabs]

Would kill to see her stand in on Eat Well for Less and GREG(G) WALLACE IS AWAY

Would like to see Jack on Eat Well for Less because the people they find on there might actually be more gormless than she is. “This is the Smiths and they spend £50,000 a week on groceries. Mum will often do a full weeks shop and then throw it straight in the bin just for fun. Dad doesn’t know how to turn the oven on and will order takeaways for breakfast before burning £50 notes to keep warm. Can our team of experts save them money?”

 

[Valiofthedolls]

 

[HotesTilaire]

I reckon Nazi Nan is innocent. She probably just gets fed up when they come round to visit and starts saying wild stuff like 'Hitler was totes amazeballs' to get them to leave in protest. I don't think I could handle Big Dave and Jack at the same time especially if there was a gold trifle on the go.

To be fair I’m practically Karl Marx until Jack appears, and then my views go to the right of Thatcher

 

[Onestorytoomany]

This last week of my life has been pure hell.... despite everything i have not yet called anyone a prick, until i come here and then i want to call her it all day long.

She is unbelievably selfish she doesnt know how bloody lucky she has it. She has her health despite her antics, she has a decent home, she has family and she has a wonderful kid. Yet she is always moaning about more and using sadfishining and trigger shots for attention. I would give anything for this past week to disappear. i dont want any of it attention, sadfishing, sympathy, yet she fucking craves it. She totally is a sick bitch.

 

[NellieBoo]

Yikes. I've just had a look at Twitter. It's a bin fire . She's going to have to do a bit more than deploy Content. 'Fruit pastilles or jelly beans?' isn't going to cut it this time.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh god no, please don’t suggest a public facing job. No one deserves Jack inflicted upon them. She needs to work in a dark little stock room or something where she can let her inner goblin shine.

No, I must veto this. I worked in a place where they kept a Jack in the storeroom. It was awful, they accused me of using too many pens and generally acted as if the stationery was their personal property. I'll never forget the shark eyes boring into me and demanding to know why I was taking two Bic pens, then being followed to make sure I handed over the second pen to a colleague.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Welcome to the latest review of the trials and tribulations of our plucky smol pixie

Special thanks to @Griftymcgriftface for the excellent thread title inspired by an angry blue squig flailing about the hellsite. You win a dusty carton of Aptamil from 2013 and a slightly rusty spoon.

After a shrieking melodramatic flounce off Twitter on Saturday night, our Jack hasn’t been seen. Well, not posting on her account anyway. She has however been gently, softly, quietly, liking posts and following and unfollowing people so we are thankful she is actually fine. So we’ve just been meandering through the archives.

Wiki up there on the pink button, thread titles after 500th post, no swears!

Please add to my poor recap

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Oh, really, Jack? So you don’t have to make them out of sanded down tuna tins, even when you’re in dire straits? (the bones of your arse ones, not the Mark Knopfler ones)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

As she’s quiet and no doubt Farrow and Balling it up some brand new walls, I thought you might enjoy a rainbow smorgasbord trip down memory lane from everyone’s favourite understudy narrator.

I bring you, Jack and the Amazing Technicolor Slopbowls

Spoiler

“What? Lil Ol’ Me?”

Spoiler

“Why yes, yes I AM too pretty to be poor! Thankspaceyou for noticing! Now, just how rich are you?”

 

[Hold my beans]

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky grifts.

I’ve only listened to the first few minutes of that but she’s already told lies. She said she shared a room with foster children. No, she didn’t.
She said she saw terrible things in the fire service. No she didn’t.

It is so cleverly crafted to appeal to her middle class audience. I know some of them will have been listening and thinking ‘hang on, that isn’t how fostering works’ but probably didn’t say anything to their friends because it seems so unlikely that someone would stand on a stage and tell lie after lie about their life?

I might listen to the whole thing and make a list of every single lie she tells

Her voice is nowhere near as honky either.

 

[The carlin]

A frau mentioned fostering - I'm surprised she's not inserted herself into those discussions - kids leaving care (foster/state) can be left starting out with nothing - so a guide for starting a kitchen from scratch could've been useful. She could've taken after Dave and advocated for them to receive additional support/benefits (oh wait afaik Dave on advocated for the foster carers to get extra cash).
You'd think that would be up in her niche (oh err) as she'd have loads of misery stories to appropriate!

Personally, I think she resents those kids for taking her parents attention away from her, especially her dad.

I honestly think most her behaviour and issues are around her desperately trying to get attention from her dad. She deifies him and the difference in the way she talks about her mother and father is very telling.

I believe that dad has a massive ego and that he's star of that family and the females are supporting actors, add in a golden son and it makes a lot of sense. I honestly think she's attempted her whole life to emulate and get attention from her dad.

I don't know him so dont know if he's like that but I've met a few 'Big Dave' types in the charity sector. Theyre lauded for 'doing good' but are mostly in it for the kudos, rewards and very good contacts it gets them.

Eta: forgot to mention one I knew who blatantly told the committee that he wouldn't stop til he gets his MBE

 

[Jelly Bean]

 

[Lucky Escape]

Im almost afraid to ask…….

(ss from @KebabGirl on thread 114)