Jack Monroe #467 Tragedies that seem to befall her, you’d think her life was written by Lemony Snicket

[Smol Pixel]

I have been biting my tongue on a lot of the suicide reference stuff because it upsets me too much and I’m not sure I’ll be coherent. But I do have to say the following:

Spoiler: TW Message for Jack

You can’t seriously think you are justified in worrying that someone might take your son away when you have literally admitted two lines earlier to trying to kill yourself in the bath with him in the house. Take some fucking responsibility, stop weaponising suicide, stop making shit up and just generally fuck off.

 

[Lucky Escape]

This Irish lawyer squig isn't impressed by Jack's claim that she had instructed her pro-bono lawyer:

 

[Deeznutslol]

Here it is, though I couldn’t find it with a date on. Back in her @Mx days though.
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Sorry for the “L” word, even if they are former and there are no tomatoes involved

I like this one where her dad basically said that if she’d been raised by Nan she’d have been a nazi in response to a post she made about doing a live 1984 reading

 

[ishant]

Did anyone see a squig sharing private FB profiles of Jack’s ma and da asking people to message them and stage and intervention?

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Heh. I know a couple of occasional posting Fraus. One slightly, but one was at my actual wedding!

I had said something (very tame, but clearly anti) Monroe on my very non-anonymous Twitter account. She contacted me on WhatsApp for a MASSIVE BITCH about her, I mentioned Tattle and she said she lurked. I revealed who I was and then there we go!
We are both TOO BUSY for keeping up on here but we are with you always.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I know it’s been mithered over many a time, but HOW despite them being done by a load of different people are all her tattoos soooo shit? (And all so badly drawn, too)

Spoiler: It’s like she was going for this originally

But it wasn’t edgy enough for our HEAVILY TATTOOED rebel, so she had to improvise a bit…

Spoiler

 

[Veronicaaa]

A squig has posted Jack's 'kindanara' recipe from Veganish (it's a riff on carbonara, geddit lol) and the first line of the intro says "A traditional carbonara recipe contains eggs, milk and bacon"

 

[Geetbo]

I've never heard of it, but the winner of the 2000 Olivier for Best New Musical is an interesting one:

 

[Katkat]

Mu autistic youngest doesn’t say very much at all, but he does call chocolate ‘cock cock’.

Spoiler: ASD merail

I don’t want to make assumptions or tell you anything about your child but my daughter has autism, she’s 6 and has been non verbal until about 6 months ago. She’s suddenly trying to talk, it’s not always clear but she’s giving it all a go and I just wanted you to know that there is hope. She said ‘love you’ at bedtime and honestly I’ve been crying on and off since!

 

[jenny2603]

That weird aggressive Jack stan account is no longer followed by Jack, though the weird aggressive lecturer woman is still following. At one point Jack was his only follower. I wonder why she dropped him. He's very loyal and absolutely FURIOUS on her behalf. Anyway RAGING Jack stan is currently embroiled in a wild fight with an anti-Jack account who somehow has a picture of the Jack stan as their profile picture. He's not taking it very well and is planning to have the anti-Jack account arrested. Southend Vineyard have also been dragged into the argument, though are wisely remaining silent.
Anyway I am very much enjoying his use of WARNED.

ETA: @Country Bumpkin was faster!

 

[Lucky Escape]

I realise that Y13 is age 17-18, but even so - should a school really be signposting the sort of material that Jack's been broadcasting recently without a warning?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I don't want to interrupt suicide talk, well maybe I do.. a little..

But huge hugs to anyone that needs one for any reason whatsoever.
Never forget that we're all here.
Some of us for serious and heartfelt chats, others for dumb posts in the hopes it brings a smile, however briefly it may last..

And to that end, I bring you..
My nomination for thread title
(words by a squig type)

"Jack Monroe #468: all the acumen of a dribbling gibbon."

(Searching Jack Monroe is far.more fun these days then it was)

 

[The carlin]

Or get a Gary for your guinea pig.

Or Gary in a bathtub full of pennies and piggies.

Look at his happy little face

Ahh bugger I did a wee chaos with the wrong Gary. Was Lucy not Wilmott that was wanted.

 

[coconutcookie]

So she’s deliberately ignoring people who are genuinely concerned and upset, dragging out everyone’s worrying and pandering (as Tattle predicted) yet is actively blocking squigs calling her out this afternoon.
Actually can’t believe I posted this morning saying I felt bad. Fucks sake.
Calculating, horrible cow. Any scrap of sympathy I had this morning is permanently gone! Vile behaviour. Fuming I was temporarily roped in!

 

[flightofthealligator]

Poor bugger. I decided at 9 to start ‘collecting cats’ (copying my sister who collected pigs). Years later I still get given shit like those ‘what do Cats think about’ books from the works. Never ever say you’re collecting anything, trust me.
Although I know that Jack collects Railway Modeller past issue magazines-just in case any of her imaginary friends or family are reading. Works for some people obviously.

I adopted a dachsie and since then everyone has assumed it’s my entire personality based on the amount of dachshund themed notebooks and bookmarks I’ve received. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but

 

[Jemadah]

It's funny isn't it how she seems to have a friend in every line of business from pet care to paint to tattoos who give her mates rates AND she finds things in puddles and gets told to keep wrong sofas etc etc and yet she is still so much poorer than those of us who actually have to pay full price for all of these things?

 

[Dogmuck]

*sulks*

I’m so sorry @Mrsoverall I didn’t know you’d nominated the thread title too, I was mid doing the original one when the change happened and so I just took the SS information from the nefarious ninnies that tried to hoodwink you out of your just credit. Please accept this signed first edition, hand sewn, leather bound with inlays of satin wood and mahogany, copy of the VBI as a gesture of my deepest regret for my mistake. Now fuck off!

 

[AlwightDallin]

I have a heart condition (nothing too serious. A strain on my heart from a lack of oxygen caused by pulmonary embolisms left it with an ectopic beat and tachycardia. All managed nicely with meds but occasionally my heart will literally skip a beat or two and I get a bit dizzy. I have a fancy pants portable ECG which is impossible to use subtly as it beeps like a bloody microwave). Apart from not being allowed red Bull/monster etc I’m absolutely fine.

I do know though that if you present at hospital with any heart complain they’ll do an ecg and give you the printout to hold in the waiting room and give to the next nurse (they don’t do this if you’re admitted or rushed in. She basically used the ambulance as a taxi who took her to A&E). Her heart looks healthy. If she was on a drug which affected it she may have panicked and made it worse but clearly the wait time was enough to settle it.

A doctor will never tell you you have a broken heart, quelle surprise, it’s not a thing (you can have ‘broken heart syndrome’ where someone in extreme grief can have a stress related heart attack and often sadly die, it’s not the same thing).

Often A&E will insert a cannula as part of the investigation. Mine was used to draw blood to test my d-dimer (clotting factor) and often they’re not used at all. Pound to a penny Jack has photographed and posted (even if deleted) a cannula, a name bracelet and/or a hospital waiting room. But not a bed, because she wasn’t actually ill.

Just think - any narc, social media attention seeker or similar can waltz up to an A&E (even call 999) and be seen by doctors and nurses aplenty. The z lister equivalent of posting a location as the hospital on your FB to allow all the ‘u ok hun DM me’s roll in.

 

[kachoochoo]

fuck me, that was a grim grunk

pray for gary wilmot's people when they find these threads

 

[That Forensic Man]

Bore da Ninnies, happy Monday! Vlad makes appearance! Can someone use their photoshop skills please

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