Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[Onestorytoomany]

No words.









Does she mean a musiln cloth that babies spit up on. People making propet curries have been doing this for years... honestly!

 

[Snotbuster]

I tried the blocked twitter reply thing. You can’t switch accounts mid reply it’ll just save to drafts. Have no fucking clue what she’s on about.

Don't worry. Neither does she.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Good she seems to have gone for a nap, anyone for tiddlywinks?

 

[Smol Pixel]

She means doing a 180 from her mood doesn’t she?

(Loving the fact that Jack thinks perpendicular means 180 degrees).

Or “at cross purposes” with or “in inverse proportion to”. Someone buy her a bloody dictionary.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Good she seems to have gone for a nap passed out in the corner in a gak fuelled haze, anyone for tiddlywinks?

FTFY

 

[Valiofthedolls]

WHY IS HER FLY DOING THAT? Why isn't it straight?

I believe you’ve found your answer, Marm

Spoiler: VULGAR. GRIM. Double WARNED.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Jack is trying to make herself untouchable.

No one wants to touch her unruly labia

 

[streby]

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k

Oh dear...

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Wtf how are oven gloves on the second list of things to add in the future yet a permanent marker and jars of assorted sizes made it to the must haves?

I've managed to wangle myself a fish slice from the last list, guess I'm not as much of a povvo as I thought I was

 

[jf99]

It had better not be, I am hoping for the poverty memoir which promises to be the funniest thing ever written. Just chapter after chapter of Jack making wild shit up and throwing tantrums about Iain Duncan Smith.

I think that one may be dead in the water, tender one x

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm EXHAUSTED after all this!!! Please Jacki can you not start chaosing til after 10 am? Thankyoukindly

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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We won’t mention (or even think about) the unfortunate camel toe

That's not her fanny camel toe.

She has that nasal spread going on again in that photo, can't keep up with all her nose changes.

 

[ItchOfTheWestCoast]

You were a few moments premature tender one x

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She didn't please stop
We don't have green tartan trazzers on the stocktake
We do have that £1,260 worth of Tiffany though

Need to find the pics of content on the couch for reasons

Eta is she at her mams.

Is she saying she was at a party when going bush on twitter today.

I've had wine and I'm no keeping up.

 

[Snotbuster]

Fuck me, where to even start?!

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Remember, it's not a lie if you believe it. George Costanza.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

I am getting really excited about this Guardian article, lads. Something is afoot.

It’s really likely she’ll have to go all in and lie through her teeth… at the high point the DM and other press are gonna rip Guardian apart

 

[Raydog]

Just terrible ! How is this even a published book ! God and she’s so so unbelievably boring to boot

Quoting myself like a knobbier to say wtf chaos on top of chaos my favourite kind

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Jack is not coy about the pronouns of her ex-partner the way she is about her current (or latest — forgive me if not totally up-to-date) one, because having previously dated a woman is on-brand (gay, queer, lesbian etc) but being in a heterosexual relationship is… well. Not very edgy at all. So lots of non-specifics about the boyfriend the way there weren’t about a previous girlfriend.

Lest there be any doubt, I mention this given I’m a lesbian myself and I’m used to people trying to seem very controversial by appropriating my space or lifestyle, and merely comment for finding Jack’s attempts to make herself interesting, very boring.

Being bisexual is more edgy these days because the queer community is not always accepting of them. But also 90% of middle aged white women that want to sound more interesting (that i know) say they are bisexual.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

They've not even added her to the website. I wonder if they're just doing this book because Rosemary SNAPPED and then will softly, gently drop her.

Yeah - did rosemary just pay them a fee to process the complaints short term ? Amazing she got someone of Rosemary calibre to start with - I think they all had middle class guilt or experiences to cover up like Nigella

 

[jf99]

Now she's hopefully fucked off (until 4am-ish ) I've had a closer look at the Grifty Kitchen screenshots that were posted pre-chaos.

You've all already covered the unfettered insanity of the "tips" she's come out with and the laughably manipulative dedication ("this one will get us our Forever Home now go and put another jumper on, mamapapa can't afford heating") so I SHAN'T talk about them.

A couple of the recipe photos looked a bit familiar, but I thought "Jack started writing this book three Prime Ministers ago. She'll have actually put some kind of effort in as opposed to recycling recipes that have already been published, won't she? ...Won't she?"

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Between the regurgitated recipes (which were utterly SHITE even the first time round), the groundbreaking tips such as "if you need a jar for something, use an empty jar that originally had something else in" and potentially lethal advice re: stabbing tins and gluing dishcloths, this is truly going to be a contender for the worst book she's ever produced. I knew it would be bad, but not this bad. Considering she had to go back to do edits for the better part of a year, what completely unpublishable state must it have been in before!?

Doesn’t that just sum her up. What a bone idle cunt!

 

[ForgettyBetty]

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