Jack Monroe #441 Congratulations on dispatching items you sold

[Hold my beans]

Also have we discussed her fancy tarts were from Sainsbury’s AND £2 for 4. Where is Mr Asda when you need him? Her entire weekly budget splurged on 9 boxes of them. Poor old 32 AA souls sharing 4 between them…or if she provided one each that would be 8 boxes - so 16 boxes in total a week and a half of her budget - no wonder she RENTS

Or, as a earlier post said, why not make her own?!

Maybe she's been WARNED not to take any home-slopped offerings in.

 

[SendReceive]

This Tweet was very swiftly deleted, unfortunately. No idea if legit or not from the squig’s account.

 

[jenny2603]

Yeah, the first brand I uncovered a la google, Mr. Kiplings, also had a distinct lack of booze in the ingredients.

Quick question, though. Is buying mince pies around Christmas like trying to buy a rum cake made with no rum? Is booze just a common ingredient? If so, maybe lemon tarts would have been a better choice, all around.

Also, she could have researched the national brands online, decided what is alcohol free and then filtered for that brand only in her shop. But I agree with other posters that she is breadcrumbing a big bender in her future.

Usually the boozy mince pies are the fancy ones, like premium brands or fancy supermarket ranges. There might well be exceptions but my expectation most of the time would be no booze. I suspect this Guardian interview is going to be the big EVIL TROLLS NEARLY KILLED ME WITH BOOZE one.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Yeah, the first brand I uncovered a la google, Mr. Kiplings, also had a distinct lack of booze in the ingredients.

Quick question, though. Is buying mince pies around Christmas like trying to buy a rum cake made with no rum? Is booze just a common ingredient? If so, maybe lemon tarts would have been a better choice, all around.

Also, she could have researched the national brands online, decided what is alcohol free and then filtered for that brand only in her shop. But I agree with other posters that she is breadcrumbing a big bender in her future.

It's just a common ingredient. Bog standard jars of mincemeat filling are just fruit, sugar, peel, treacle, and spices.

 

[SharkAttack]

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Proper snowing in Thorpe Bay tonight.

 

[fishyfishfish]

I thought Jack and ASDA were BFFs…if we was actually an ‘activist’ or whatever she’s claiming to be today, then surely she could get her BFF to change the options on the site filters to exclude products with alcohol in.

However, this would come dangerously close to Jack doing something that could be classed as work, so won’t happen. Despite it being a sensible enough idea.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Usually the boozy mince pies are the fancy ones, like premium brands or fancy supermarket ranges. There might well be exceptions but my expectation most of the time would be no booze. I suspect this Guardian interview is going to be the big EVIL TROLLS NEARLY KILLED ME WITH BOOZE one.

She said she'll be on the cover, didn't she? So that's presumably the Guardian Feast supplement... possibly this Saturday?

 

[I'm not actually here]

To you and any other members of the cable - Jack didn’t have him doing that, she makes most of the stuff up about SB, it’s her way of engaging with her dick head fans. That lad lives with his dad and has occasional visits with his mum. It’s highly likely he’s with her tonight based on the fact she’s had a 2 hour phone conversation and has spent the entire night tweeting. He will be hauled up in his bedroom (that she hasn’t turfed him out of) playing on his Xbox until he can go home again.

I know we all know she can't tell the truth at all.

To you and any other members of the cable - Jack didn’t have him doing that, she makes most of the stuff up about SB, it’s her way of engaging with her dick head fans. That lad lives with his dad and has occasional visits with his mum. It’s highly likely he’s with her tonight based on the fact she’s had a 2 hour phone conversation and has spent the entire night tweeting. He will be hauled up in his bedroom (that she hasn’t turfed him out of) playing on his Xbox until he can go home again.

I get you. However, one day, soon, somebody will take her at her word and investigate her and her child care, based on what she herself is publishing online, to an audience of (minimum) half a million people.

If it isn't true, she will be hauled over the coals for implying it. And if it is true that she is submitting a 12 year old to this... Ditto, but for actually doing it.

Either way, poor poor sprog.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Sometimes it happens if they have very (unexpected) loose stool, and a nappy just can't cope. One minute everything is fine, the next minute it's everywhere!

Yeah agreed completely - I felt bad after writing that for not caveating this with instances of diarrhoea which I believe babies with milk allergies are super prone to over longer periods of time so genuinely v sorry to any one I’ve offended with that.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She really horrible

I actually very rarely shop online and if i want to have something minus and ingredient. I make my own. My husband is lactose intolerant but like carbonara. I make my own with lactose free ingredients. Why didnt she make her own pies. They are super easy

 

[laylabella90]

I’m in a fucker of a mood.

These tweets

a) are bollocks. I never buy alcohol online. Haven’t for over a decade and never, ever get suggestions for alcohol.

b) should have a TW for some parts. She throws around the times she has been close to suicide and if SB actually does google her Twitter then putting this stuff out there is harmful.

c) she thinks she’s untouchable. She thinks she’s owed the world. I might be feeling tit but I am so glad I don’t feel the need to tweet my life like she does for those sweet synaptic hits.

I’m putting these here but it’s tit. Should she be tweeting this (these follow on from finding the alcohol free ones for her meeting- assume the AA one)?

View attachment 1826121
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Stop being a bleeping twit. I hate you so much right now. Like, so, so much.
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christ the AA tweets drive me insane, mr bloody kipling mince pies are alcohol free, give it a bleeding rest

also in AA meetings there’s always that one person who brings food to make people like them. we know what you’re doing and it is hilarious.

 

[I'm not actually here]

She said she'll be on the cover, didn't she? So that's presumably the Guardian Feast supplement... possibly this Saturday?

2nd Jan she implied.

 

[jenny2603]

christ the AA tweets drive me insane, mr bloody kipling mince pies are alcohol free, give it a bleeding rest

also in AA meetings there’s always that one person who brings food to make people like them. we know what you’re doing and it is hilarious.

I hope they bring more than one box of mince pies and don't get all 32 of you to read the ingredients of the pies most of you aren't getting.

 

[laylabella90]

I hope they bring more than one box of mince pies and don't get all 32 of you to read the ingredients of the pies most of you aren't getting.

I can picture 15 people checking the box while 17 of us smoke outside and say “let’s hope she keeps coming back”

(keep coming back is delightfully passive aggressive AA speak for “you are unhinged and need more AA meetings”)

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Why hasn't any of her mates invited her round for dinner on xmas day. If i knew a mate was going to be alone id have them round for part of it. Either for the meal or an evening drink of their choice and a movie etc.

 

[Saltfish84]

For someone so very much in recovery she really cannot take responsibility for staying sober can she? It’s trolls, it’s Tesco, it’s the crippling self esteem issues.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

For someone who's (whose?) second home is Edinburgh, Scotland, you'd think she would know how to pronounce Ecclefechan

 

[Phillipa78]

I hope they bring more than one box of mince pies and don't get all 32 of you to read the ingredients of the pies most of you aren't getting.

I reckon she brought a load to the meeting and no-one ate them. Tit!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Why hasn't any of her mates invited her round for dinner on xmas day. If i knew a mate was going to be alone id have them round for part of it. Either for the meal or an evening drink of their choice and a movie etc.

Well you know none of these four poor bastards ever invited her back again

Beetroot Chocolate Loaf Cake (V)

This Christmas period I have so far cooked four enormous meals in four different houses as four Christmas presents for friends and family – in mutual opinion and after the crappy bank fraud e…

cookingonabootstrap.com

ETA she’s such an insufferable twit. I mean, at least she’s consistent at that over the years. Imagine this tit coming to your house “juices flowing” and inventing repulsive festive concoctions based on your “sparse store cupboards” (at Christmas? Sure, Jack). If this was one of the winners, WTF were the losers?!?

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

She couldn’t just buy some bleeping mini chocolate Yule logs and be done with it, could she? Has to be a huge, dramatic performance getting her kid to check the back of boxes and poor wee Jack being ASSAULTED by suggestions of booze in her online shop.

Next time I’m in the Asda I’m gonna run, sobbing, down the aisle with all the boxed hair dye, hysterically knocking them off the shelves screaming “BUT MY HAIRDRESSER DOES MY LOWLIGHTS HOW DARE THIS CORPORATION CATER TO NEEDS OTHER THAN MINE”.

Then everyone will clap. That’ll show them, show them all *shakes fist*