Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[CocoCottesmore]

*excitedly* has she been?
.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Thanks slopbot, I shall treasure my keyboard inside my slow cooker! Two gifts in one

 

[ChactFecker]

I like wet stuffing

You were brought up wrong.
I'm so sorry for what you had to endure. - it's not your fault. i repeat, it's not your fault.

please accept these NOT dire potatoes (ensure you start at the timecode linked)

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Just a little reminder that you don’t have to have a partner to be pregnant.

You don't but it does read as if she wanted to make OH jealous and/or make others believe their relationship was more serious than it was

 

[TbilisiPeach]

This 100%.

The quoted part, so many examples of this going back to her earliest public utterances. See also the horrible reminiscences she waxed lyrical about in his “obituary” after her grandad became DEAD, about him being a complete cunt to her mother while they both laughed and laughed about it.

View attachment 1789119

If this is true, he’s a fucking monster and she’s a complete fucking dickhead for thinking AS AN ADULT that this is acceptable behaviour and something about which to fondly reminisce in a public post.

If it’s not true, she’s a complete fucking monster for making it up and posting it.

If it is true, the apple really didn’t fall very far from DEAD slumlord grandad’s tree, did it?

I see almost every fun story she tells through this lens. Whichever way you look at it, she comes out looking at best like an edgelord. It's pretty tragic.

 

[Lazarus]

Not that I want to do Jack's job for her, but here is some info about cold weather payments for people in certain areas:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63894221

And here is where you can enter your postcode to see if you are eligible:

https://coldweatherpayments.dwp.gov.uk/

See how easy that was, Jack?

The thought of Jack doing this is just weird. There’s no single part of her that comes across as willing to help anyone else.

ps, thank you for all that you do.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Would you like my black dylon for it?

It’s waterproof!

 

[SendReceive]

For newer fraus, Jack once posted a photo of of these potatoes as if they were her own cooking, they were clearly the Waitrose ones.

View attachment 1793932
SS from Soulrebel who is no longer in the canal

Thank(space)you - I wasn’t sure of that reference as “parmentier” doesn’t come up searching her Twitter. It’s even got exactly the same sprig of rosemary FFS!

 

[Reagent]

Ooh a lovely new sofa thanks

I got a keyboard. I can't sing or read music. I should do well then, that is all.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Odds on a wave of deleted tweets today when she finally surfaces?

 

[FreezePeach]

It puts me in mind of U/Non U terms. My grandmother was someone who had "aspirations" and insisted on terms like "napkin" rather than "serviette" because she thought it would make her kids sound a bit posher!

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Do you know what's as solid as her slop? Her credibility.

Solid. Solid as her Slop!

 

[hoopdedoo]

Yes. And had the sh*t tattoo completed on or before the 15th.

View attachment 1790191

That doesn't exactly look like a "small" tattoo to me, but since Jack also claims to be a smol pixie herself, maybe her sense of proportion is skewed....

 

[Mr Krabs]

Yaaay, I got Cath Kidston, bitch! Right, I’m off to find someone to tell me that white trash shouldn’t breed (or some other lie)

View attachment 1793248

I don’t know what’s edgier. The Cath Kidston or the Tiggy and Bo handbags which all look like changing bags.

 

[elepal]

Just seen sad news regarding Celine. Looks like Jack won’t be singing to her or a hologram of her anytime soon.

Poor Celine regarding illness .

Wonder how quickly Jack can read here and spin this around to her/film herself doing a rendition of Think Twice in the shower?

Wonder how quickly Jack will start mentioning symptoms that sound oddly akin to a certain very rare neurological condition?

 

[Nonah]

Dearest jenny numbers, Old Harold’s parents have just hit the like button on your post so many times they both now have RSI.
View attachment 1790658

Aw. Hello little one.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Additional info: It's a pygmy pineapple and one of her best friends calls her Prickles.

View attachment 1794349

As in: Jack phones her 'friend', her 'friend' looks at her mobile and says "a prick calls"

 

[Amanda Lin]

It shrivels my peelings that, in the description of Grifty Kitchen on Amazon, it still says that she's working on the Voracious Bum Infection.

Yeah, come on Jack the ONS and all those economists and statisticians are rubbish.

The world is waiting for your new way of calculating inflation.

 

[Snotbuster]

Thank you, Slopbot, you are magical! How did you know I pretended to be a musician?

 

[Hollaaa]

I thought it was booked for them as a couple, and she went on her own

Working from memory only, but I think one or both of them were meant to be involved somehow with the Edinburgh television festival which was on around the same time. Which is why I thought it seemed like a very unlikely impromptu trip and more of a 'work so therefore I can put it down as expenses' trip.