Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

I once woke up with what I thought was stigmata but I’d just fallen asleep troughing jamboree biscuits. Learn from my mistakes.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I know. Poo stains and missing the toilet.
She thought this was appropriate to broadcast to the nation about her young son. So many boundaries crossed right there.
What a ghastly parent she portrays herself to be.

I just want to say at this juncture, for any child or SB should they ever read this - these toilet messes are totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

My mother didn't drink and my dad used to maybe have a couple of pints on a Sunday when he went for a game of doms however they bought us babychams every Christmas which are quite alcoholic! Maybe they didn't realise they were booze?

When I was 12 we went on a family holiday abroad and my Mum actually ordered me a Snowball at the bar as she didn’t think they were alcoholic.

The rest of the evening has been re-told at pretty much every family event since, as I went through 5 very distinct stages over the course of the next hour:

1. Trying to dance on the table.
2. Laughing manically at nothing.
3. Telling everyone exactly what I thought of them.
4. Begging for chips then getting unreasonably cross when I was told no.
5. Falling asleep.

Fuck all has changed in my drinking pattern in the following 35 years tbh.Haven’t had a snowball since.

 

[Geetbo]

I am not Jack, but in an attempt to summon her like the candy man, I am now going to start chatting pony about how easy it is to cook on a budget.

I'm going to create a pentagram out of bagged turds and stand in the middle chanting "SHUT YOUR LEGS" in an attempt to manifest her.

 

[Sack Monroe]

Every single word of this post, tender one. I imagine a lot of people have no idea of the grift, or the harm, and vaguely know her as a 'campaigner' because she's been on tv. The sooner she's fully exposed the better.

Me too. I thought she was pretty benign just rather strange even after HH2. I didn't warm to her but i was aware how much abuse goes to 'difficult' or unconventional women in the public eye so gave her the benefit of the doubt many times over. It was AM that started to turn me and, even then I was sceptical the first time I read it. It was the slopathon that convinced me. I mean if you can't even make food what use are you as a tv cook? The stuff about her son has turned my stomach.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

I once benchpressed the Queen!!

Shit

 

[BashmentLady]

OT but I met someone last night that immediately triggered off a Jack shaped red flag. She had the hiccups and when I said I know a cure (which I learned from a man in a pub), she started telling me that actually, she's a really special and unusual case and she even had hiccups in the womb. Definitely a jack in the wild.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Heart excoriated. Shoulders crumbled. 128 boxes of burden packed and then painstakingly unpacked. Another lightbulb in another socket. Read the blog post.

'Exhausted. Jaw throbbing with an infection. On bed/sofa with a wriggly dog snuggling up. But happy. Oh so happy and hopeful for a future. I still battle the darkness at all times but at last a small flickering light has appeared. Peace friends '

 

[That Forensic Man]

Not sure if I have to squig a high school's home economics twitter account but shouldn't they be following a curriculum?

 

[DragonBoy]

Oh shit! What is she goes huge in Asia as a novelty act! Like those crazy Japanese challenges TV game shows

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Whilst I don’t want to give credence to the hellsite, apparently Jack walks amongst us and is a powerful frau. Come on then canal, who is it?

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

I will say one word, and that is THRUSH . Nope x


We know, we saw your sexy sandal shots tender one

A couple of years ago I had a bout of thrush that didn’t respond to treatment. It would get a bit better then I’d be back to itching like I’d sat on a nest of fire ants. Rinse and repeat. Turned out my ex was playing away and kept reinfecting me because his OW was a dirty slag. Binned the ex and the Canesten worked a treat. Win-win!

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I don't know where this will land because I'm not caught up but I'm watching a film and this line had me giggling. I think the writer must have visited here

 

[Veronicaaa]

Off topic but Marcus Rashford poses a real conundrum to England anti-fans. I was on the phone to my sister last night when the game was on and she was like 'UGH England just scored ffs' followed very quickly by 'Awwww, it was Marcus Rashford though'. Actual footage of me listening to her -

 

[Geetbo]

Je Suis Jacques

 

[houseofhoop]

Still catching up but having seen the chores list, I agree with the rest of the canal regarding it's cruelty and humiliation. It is mostly definitely performative in terms of the 'system' she has created, she loves a hand written system. She is all about procrastination instead of actual work. She is also exhibiting her power over her son with the nasty comments. I think she probably thought they were funny comments in a 'kids, who'd have em' sort of way. But it also displays how unusual she finds normal messes (including toilet messes, especially in an autistic child) and this further reveals that she is not a very involved parent.

I will add that having had a narc parent, I can see many similarities to Jack. It's disturbing and triggering at times. My siblings and I were expected to do a lot of housework and if it wasn't done by a certain time, there would be trouble. As an adult, mess stresses me and I still have an anxiety about it because of that. I know that is not normal and my experience has shown me how not to parent. I never ever make my children work like that. My eldest two do some chores within their capabilities for pocket money. My youngest is fully disabled and not capable of anything like that. Toys on the floor is such a normal part of childhood or it should be. As for following SB, I could believe that too because we were followed, had our mail opened and read and phone calls listened in on via the extension. There was more surveillance and control than that. We were forever regulating our behavior and masking, acting the way we were expected to. It's impossible to relax but also impossible to hide from people outside the home. I have no doubt Jack behaves in a similar way based on her comments. And someone will have acted, be it a teacher or a family member. She moans about CPS a lot, it's projection, my narc did the same. There is no doubt she has restricted and supervised access. We only see what Jack shares (because she can't help herself), unfortunately I think things are a lot messier behind the scenes, underneath her public persona. This is partly why she has to control the narrative, a narc's reputation is very important to them and they want everyone to believe they are the best, funniest, most loving etc etc.

This is very sad @People-huv-tae-know ;

Spoiler: Me rail

very similar experience with my mother. Only I called her by her Christian name (not mama mum mummy or mother!) simply because it helped me go first grey rock with her, then now it’s NC. She’s a covert narcissist, in that it’s not so easy to spot unless you know that person well. To the outside world she was a model 1950s housewife and parent, spotless house (that was us kids!) and she got loads of praise cos there were a lot of us siblings (won’t say exactly as it may be me) and religion (we had surveillance too under the religious banner)was involved. Now we’ve all left home, she went back to educationan and qualified asa Dr, and is now high up in the medical profession. But the amount of articles she’s written about how amazing she is to have achieved this success … is easily in double figures, and her USP is that she did it all with no help while raising xx kids. All a lie as my dad bank rolled her and we did actually have staff (nanny, housekeepers, cleaner and a gardener) plus the kids doing everything for her. Sorry but I feel so strongly about narc parents. So I very much feel for you @People-huv-tae-know

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her writing is so bad, but particularly considering her alleged audience. Many people living in poverty have low literacy levels. Her recipes are also completely inaccessible to most non-native English speakers (maybe a good thing as British food has a bad reputation already and doesn't need her help).

Her recipe writing also got significantly worse over the years. Often it reads like the online diary of someone whose only friends are their fellow Livejournallers.

Remember the recipe for soy sauce eggs where she added the soy to the water she was boiling her eggs in, as though the soy would infuse through the shells? She is so thick.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

How long ago was it she posted the performative picture of her kitchen table covered in all the patreon rewards she was planning to catch up on?

Obviously I already know the answer to this, but has anything actually been sent?

It’s a thing she likes to do every second November after ignoring her backers for years, Geets.

Look out for your next Patreon rewards performative pic some time in November 2024. (Rewards may or may not be actually sent, please enjoy the picture, see you in 2026 for the next one. Love, Jack X)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Jamie up in her niche again

 

[MoistenedGussets]

You can pretty much assume that Jack has multiple accounts on Twitter, Insta, Reddit, Mumsnet, Here, Netmums etc etc.
She likely spends several hours a day policing talk of her on all and any platform.
Reporting things she dislikes is her 100 hour work a week.