Jack Monroe #426 Slop in a shoebox

[Valiofthedolls]

at “my life being plastered all over the internet (BY ME)”

Jack Monroe: creative recipes for £1 a head

Jack Monroe rose to fame with her blog about cooking on a tight budget. Emine Saner asks our new recipe columnist about her journey from the breadline to the Tory conference

www.theguardian.com

PS Harriet and Miliband the cats seem to have magically turned into guinea pigs and a ferret.

Great to see that she doesn’t have to spend any more a week to feed herself, the labourer and her much older son in 2022 than she did herself the PoPo and her very young child tho. Food prices must have stayed the same as 9 years ago. (And the Guardian didn’t think to question why with two incomes coming into the house this was necessary or even true?!)

 

[Zelda]

Took a while to pick apart the story about the ex-Squig/wannabe Molly on Twitter.

So, Hellman's closed comments on the Live. Meh.

Whatever her intentions, it's not cool to be sending DMs to the subject of a gossip forum you're a member of. And then to confidingly get into conversation about being a Tattle user? I can understand why Jack felt creeped out by it.

Pleased to confirm I've had zero interactions with Jack.

But, I am turning into her....no date yet for my contribution to the Slopathon, it's officially Coming Soon - sorry, I will do it, promise.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Spoiler: Glasto chat

It’s extraordinarily expensive. I did bar work there one year as a way of getting a free ticket. I wouldn’t go again, it’s too big, too busy and it reeks of tit. Much better watching from the sofa! No shade to those that go, I just don’t have the constitution (I’m in my 30s ). [\SPOILER]

Even with a free ticket Glasto is pricey. Travel is expensive and coaches and trains are packed and unpleasant. Even taking my own booze I’d easily spend £300 over the course of the festival (and this was ten years + ago) on food, a few illicit substances, a couple of bits of tat from the stalls, plus cold beers when I got sick of warm, piss-like bag wine. Sadly, nobody offered me any free wine when they left. Plus the expenses of camping equipment, which isn’t cheap if you want to be sort of decently comfortable.

I think it can be explained by her blatant shopping addiction dearheart. And the lengthy 6 month move time can be explained by the probability that she played all sorts of narc tricks to try to get Leggy to take her back. I mean, think of the LJC break up. We had a good 4-5 months of “I’m vulnerable, take me back!” drama all played out on SM and aimed at LJC, including but not limited to: sparkly black eye, head shave, cut foot, ouchy mouth, skinny pix, Edinburgh, sideboards, sports bras and ill fated innocent pets. So feck only knows what she did to Leggy. But I bet it wasn’t pretty.

Three suspected heart attacks, if I remember rightly. Plus the thirst pics of her in her ‘binder’ (CK crop top) with an ECG machine.

 

[colouredlines]

PS Harriet and Miliband the cats seem to have magically turned into guinea pigs and a ferret.

See the screenshots here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-262-why-you-cry-no-wifi.27724/post-8664041

I'm sure years later she claimed to have rehomed them, but at the time she said nothing, then she was a twit to anyone who asked about them. Plus ça change...

 

[Zelda]

The Allegra interlude is fascinating in a way, as it was the one time in Jack's story that she wasn't claiming to be poor. Her articles from that time are all about her rags to riches tale and how the tragic pov story finally has a happy ending. She stopped costing her Guardian recipes (which exposed how little she knows about food - lots of the comments on the recipes are along the lines of, "What's the point of this column now?") and she bought stuff and went on holidays without making excuses about puddles and gifts.

Someone who was already tit with money hooking up with a generous millionaire was never going to end well. I wish we had all her tweets from that time, because at some point post-breakup she must have suddenly realised that she was unemployed, with no book deal, no sugar mama, and all the money-saving ability of Louis XVI. That'd make you tit yourself even faster than one of her smoothies would...

I find it quite interesting too. It does seem to have been a pivotal moment. It think it broke her in a way.

She was always an attention-seeking Elevenrifer who exaggerated or plain lied without thinking of the consequences. But to go back to being Cinders after Allegra had taken her to the ball must have been a shock.

Allegra was older, richer, more successful when Jack was fresh on the scene, the junior partner. It wasn't a balanced relationship, so I could totally understand if it fucked Jack up.

Speculating without any solid evidence, but I wouldn't be surprised if Jack learnt a whole lot of bad habits from her time with Allegra. I'm not talking about alleged weather conditions. Thinking more about control and emotional manipulation.

But I'm just a mithering ninny, so what do I know...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I think it can be explained by her blatant shopping addiction dearheart. And the lengthy 6 month move time can be explained by the probability that she played all sorts of narc tricks to try to get Leggy to take her back. I mean, think of the LJC break up. We had a good 4-5 months of “I’m vulnerable, take me back!” drama all played out on SM and aimed at LJC, including but not limited to: sparkly black eye, head shave, cut foot, ouchy mouth, skinny pix, Edinburgh, sideboards, sports bras and ill fated innocent pets. So feck only knows what she did to Leggy. But I bet it wasn’t pretty.

Old Not-Harold got off very lightly in that regard given that she only instantly bought a giant dog and started publicly and volubly looking for medic cock (but ceramicist wang and teacher dong would also suffice) online, then posted incessantly about her broken heart, all of the above on a platform he doesn’t read, then wrote a ridiculous manipulative blog post about being ‘POOR but not poor’ including in it the TERRIBLE thing he’d done by dumping her.

Oh, and in a series of tweets exposed him as a tattoo and boilersuit hating homophobic bigot. And got a (upside down) tattoo to SPITE him.

Oh, and despite his requests otherwise, incessantly pestered him on his phone to the point he was considering changing his phone number to stop it.

I guess that’s the “light version” aka what approx a mere 6 months as Jack’s OH gets you if you have the temerity to leave. LJC and Leggy were around longer though I don’t imagine leggy tolerating her tit in the same way as LJC. The PoPo is lucky that Jack moved quickly onto bigger and better things.

Vali musing: It wouldn’t surprise me if The Poverty was in part to manipulate and SPITE the ex she’d split with the month before leaving the fire service (including her actually leaving the fire service a month later if the ex was one of the people driving her to and from work and looking after her son) “look what you made me do”.

 

[That Forensic Man]

I'm not sure Jack retains memories. Maybe that's why she loves her tattoos so much, maybe she's trying to figure them out like in Memento?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

See the screenshots here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-262-why-you-cry-no-wifi.27724/post-8664041

I'm sure years later she claimed to have rehomed them, but at the time she said nothing, then she was a twit to anyone who asked about them. Plus ça change...

They were kittens! I’d seen this when you posted it at the time but had forgotten all about it. Even though I shouldn’t, I try to push her animal stuff out of my mind because it’s just upsetting.

I should remember it though, because even though it’s virtually impossible for me to believe I can think her even more of a morally repugnant vile bleep than I already do, turns out I can.

 

[Geetbo]

We need an off topic of the year in the sloppies. Some strong contenders with the walrus, Tommy Lee's wang and Tom Hardy's balls.

But which smells worse, wang or balls? I’m asking the important questions today.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I find it quite interesting too. It does seem to have been a pivotal moment. It think it broke her in a way.

She was always an attention-seeking Elevenrifer who exaggerated or plain lied without thinking of the consequences. But to go back to being Cinders after Allegra had taken her to the ball must have been a shock.

Allegra was older, richer, more successful when Jack was fresh on the scene, the junior partner. It wasn't a balanced relationship, so I could totally understand if it fucked Jack up.

Speculating without any solid evidence, but I wouldn't be surprised if Jack learnt a whole lot of bad habits from her time with Allegra. I'm not talking about alleged weather conditions. Thinking more about control and emotional manipulation.

But I'm just a mithering ninny, so what do I know...

I agree with all the rest that you say, but it’s clear from her early blogs and writing that she knew plenty about control and emotional manipulation before she even so much as set foot into the same room as Leggy.

 

[moldwarp]

Old Not-Harold got off very lightly in that regard given that she only instantly bought a giant dog and started publicly and volubly looking for medic cock (but ceramicist wang and teacher dong would also suffice) online, then posted incessantly about her broken heart, all of the above on a platform he doesn’t read, then wrote a ridiculous manipulative blog post about being ‘POOR but not poor’ including in it the TERRIBLE thing he’d done by dumping her.

Oh, and in a series of tweets exposed him as a tattoo and boilersuit hating homophobic bigot. And got a (upside down) tattoo to SPITE him.

Oh, and despite his requests otherwise, incessantly pestered him on his phone to the point he was considering changing his phone number to stop it.

I guess that’s the “light version” aka what approx a mere 6 months as Jack’s OH gets you if you have the temerity to leave. LJC and Leggy were around longer though I don’t imagine leggy tolerating her tit in the same way as LJC. The PoPo is lucky that Jack moved quickly onto bigger and better things.

Vali musing: It wouldn’t surprise me if The Poverty was in part to manipulate and SPITE the ex she’d split with the month before leaving the fire service (including her actually leaving the fire service a month later if the ex was one of the people driving her to and from work and looking after her son) “look what you made me do”.

Well an acquaintance of OH came on here and said he wasn’t really on SM didn’t they. So maybe she just figured that sad posting wasn’t worth it.

 

[overdueanadventure]

What do walrus smell like?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

But which smells worse, wang or balls? I’m asking the important questions today.

VULGAR IN THE SPOILER. ONLY CLICK IF YOU LIKE VULGAR THINGS OR ARE PRURIENT.
Taking the Jack approach to this, aren’t all genitalia smells interchangeable? Anyway, as I’m in the land of the circumcised wang these days, I haven’t so much as clapped eyes on a foreskin in TEN YEARS so I’m not sure I can knowledgeably contribute to this discussion. Further, I may or may not have some repressed memories I have no wish to revisit .

 

[Geetbo]

VULGAR IN THE SPOILER. ONLY CLICK IF YOU LIKE VULGAR THINGS OR ARE PRURIENT.
Taking the Jack approach to this, aren’t all genitalia smells interchangeable? Anyway, as I’m in the land of the circumcised wang these days, I haven’t so much as clapped eyes on a foreskin in TEN YEARS so I’m not sure I can knowledgeably contribute to this discussion. Further, I may or may not have some repressed memories I have no wish to revisit .

As I have no penchant for filth I SHANT click the spoiler x

Isn’t Jack boring lately. I wish she’d shave her head or have a giant tattoo of Nigella on her face or something. We need some laughs.

 

[ElbiePickle]

I'm going to don the cloak of internet anonymity here and say I don't care what Tom Hardy's balls smell like, I'd let him pummel my pumble into the other side of tomorrow. The love of dogs thing is just a big fat juicy cherry on top.

Back to Jack... why why WHY do her eyes look so crazed and wild in her recent pics? I know she's had a lot of 'looks' over the years in photos she's posted, and she's face-tuning everything to duck and back, but the crazed eyes.... she seems unhinged, like you'd keep your distance because she might snap and claw your eyes out at any moment.

 

[Mr Krabs]

What do walrus smell like?

Bad, apparently. https://www.alaskasnewssource.com/c...Areas-Of-Alaska-482357261.html?outputType=amp

A hoard of horny single male walruses? Bet it smelled like a Google exec conference in there.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

As I have no penchant for filth I SHANT click the spoiler x

Isn’t Jack boring lately. I wish she’d shave her head or have a giant tattoo of Nigella on her face or something. We need some laughs.

I mean, to be fair she has wrestled her unwilling dog while basically shouting “LOVE ME”, talked vomit-inducingly about “giggles” again and posted another increasingly ridiculous before and after shot. But I hear you, come on Jack! Find what some new slop you love and let it kill you get tattooed on you (upside down).

* Post a picture of the slop and the tat but not the recipe- tell everyone that’s “coming soon”.

Oh, PS on that note, can you please post the recipe for this delicious looking “raw & charred broccoli barley & fried onion raita” you promised in a “couple of days”? I’ve been waiting since May 2, 2015 and want to make it for the slopalong.

 

[here we go again]

How can she make a spring onion look like an eel????

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Remember when she did the birthday haul where she’d put everything on a table including vouchers sat up with their value showing? Praying for a Christmas gifting/Black Friday haul like that how much fun would it be???

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Back to Jack... why why WHY do her eyes look so crazed and wild in her recent pics?

Cocaine.