Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[jenny2603]

anyway moving on.

In the excitement of the slopalong I hadn’t noticed how quiet she’s been the last couple of days. I really do think she’s been WARNED not to get into any shit.

She must be absolutely raging she can't unleash the flying monkeys. I agree, she's definitely been read the riot act by her agent and/or publisher. Just think, if she hadn't spent the last decade behaving like an absolute twat, someone might have been willing to spend cashos on real reputation management.

 

[jenny2603]

Just to add to the recap that Jack has been on the school run for approx 48 hours now. Who knows when she will return.

No wonder she stopped for that kebab. She must have been famished.

 

[jenny2603]

She really wants to be a political commentator. The trouble is, she has no understanding of politics beyond ‘people will DIE and Tories are scum’ ranting. There are plenty of experts with years of education in the finer details of politics who deserve a platform. Self obsessed, shouty Jack seems to think she’s special and so doesn’t need to contribute anything except crap puns, emotive ranting & jangling her zippy earrings.

Her problem, or rather one of her problems is that she wants to be a saviour whereas anyone with any kind of life experience will know that scenario is fantasy bollocks. It's like when she learns a fact and they goes trumpeting about it like a child. A few months back she was burbling about Hansard on Twitter as if no journalist had thought to look at it before or when she was banging on about looking at MPs financial interests as if there isn't a register of interests that any journalist can access. One of thre three therapists she has on speed dial should really have a word about main character syndrome.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I will never not laugh when I remember that she was unceremoniously dumped by the OH she described as "refreshingly ordinary"

...and she managed to turn his "you need to see a doctor" parting shot into an oh-so-amusing escapade involving her offering pumble to anyone on Tinder who happened to be wearing scrubs.

Relationship status: acting like an angry 14 year old.

 

[NellieBoo]

I think they cancelled their Patreon after 2-3 months, so it's only about £20-£30 they went back. Jack could pay that easily, she's choosing not to because she's an impotent little shit who gets off on these rather pathetic power trips.

I think she spent that money on a kebab and fried chicken

Have none of these people heard of the butcher. You can buy as much mince as you want there, you can even say can i have what mince that will add up to 2 pounds. I know, my mum used to do it when she was skint.

Poor people are poor and stupid, dearheart. Didn't you know? They just bumble around, waiting for their instructions from Jack the saviour of the povs.

 

[Doddery old dear]

THAT MAN has said similar.

They're both wrong.

Plus Jack with her supposed autism (diagnosed) should know better. Cunt.

This is a MAJOR trigger point for me as someone who has always been a very fussy eater and was shamed/bullied into eating certain foods during school dinners by teachers despite crying and utter fear setting in when I was very young 🔺️ I still feel that fear

This is so true ! I'm a lifelong fussy eater since being incarcerated in a "sanitorium" as a 14 month old baby (polio) locked away from my family for months. I even hide mashed up carrots in my Shepherd pie so I cant see them !

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I will never not laugh when I remember that she was unceremoniously dumped by the OH she described as "refreshingly ordinary"

Spoiler: Long

Yeah and was so heartbroken she was on Tinder looking for cock (preferably medical) and telling 570k of her nearest and dearest ~and us~ she was apparently about to marry someone else she’d never actually met barely 9 days later. Boo.

And…

Still, life goes on…

Oh PS she didn’t deactivate “for a bit” either cos she was gleefully posting about OH on 17th then HE LEFT on 19th. A Sunday when a grenade was tossed in her life (I looked up the day/date combo to be FORENSIC)

T
W
A
T

(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins for all the Twitter screenies)

 

[steverc]

Yeah, that Ian Millard guy's a racist nutbag, See (I mean, it's fine if you don't click on this) here, where his disbarment is definitely NOT that he's a psychopath, but it was all down to Da Jooz.

The Slide of the English Bar and UK Society Continues and Accelerates

[Addendum and Update, 5 September 2021: since I blogged in relation to my disbarment etc, there have been developments, some of which are covered in the updates at the foot of the original blog. Ho…

ianrobertmillard.org

<looks further>

Ah, he's a Nazi.

<stops looking>

 

[FrumpyCat]

I think it says a lot about her that she’s had these two high profile relationships with extremely well off women and both times has failed to seal the deal (hello maintenance!) because she is just. so. awful. They must like her initially for some reason! (Don’t think of whisks don’t think of whisks…dammit)

I think Jack is very good at love bombing and changing her personality to fit her partner.

With Leggy she was the streetwise urchin, with LJ C she was needy and frail (LJ C strikes me as a rescuer), and with old Harold it was the smol manic pixie dreamgirl with her horrible hat, her Pringles lids, and her accidentally fondling his brother.

But I don't think she can maintain it, either that or she overplays her hand..

 

[zetta buttons]

Who actually calls it snogging over the age of about 16. Why does the think anyone wants to know that she is snogging and is she really trying to say she has struggled with booze from her very first snog, EVER?!

I was 10 when i had my first kiss/ snog. It was terrible, I didnt get into anything else till i was alot older though!

I think the sadder thing is the stark contrast between her Instagram behaviour/posting and her Twitter persona.

Something is definitely going on with her constantly posting these insta quotes/my life is fabulous/eating a kebab/breadcrumbing whilst on Twitter she is (or at least she thinks she is) cleaning up her mistakes and promoting her shit new book.

The cynic in me looks elsewhere on Instagram for answers and potentially finds them, the person who keeps falling for her crap thinks she is not well and Instagram is a true reflection of what is going on and Twitter is her bravado.

I’ll always keeping feeling sorry for her. It’s my Achilles heel and my Achilles are fucked.

 

[Magwitch]

Just popping in to say how thrilled I am that the slopathon is happening. Cannot wait for the results to start coming in.

I would sign up myself but as I keep a clean, botulism/salmonella/e-coli free kitchen, I fear the resulting slop will not be authentic. Good luck, brave fraus, and go well. May your sacrifices not be in vain.

 

[Jelly Bean]

View attachment 1706405

Just saw this in The Guardian. Reads so much like Jack that they don’t even need her anymore. Equally insufferable prick David Baddiel will do instead.

Ah that anti troll campaigner Baddiel Who like Jack happily sets his flying monkeys on anyone who mildly questions him.

Spoiler: Twat Baddiel

I read that article. Why does he keep going on about his mother's affair? Can he not give the woman the slightest bit of privacy? He was the same with his poor father and his dementia - shoving a camera in his face when the man clearly hadn't got a clue what was going on. Ghastly individual

 

[Madonna_Claws]

Are you Zak Dingle tender one?

I'm not. My perimenopausal beard is not quite as hirsute, thankfully. Nice chap, had a thing about VW campervans.

I'm doing the Slopalong tomorrow - I was going to do it today but then found I just wasn't hungry. Odd that. Really makes you

 

[moldwarp]

As I’ve said before, I knew JM around 2010 in a lesbian online and off social group. Apart from us all noticing that her posts were inconsistent and attention seeking, one close friend from Southend who was not prone to gossip, warned off another friend who was due to go on a date with JM. Here is why:
She said that JM had, a few years back, so perhaps 2007/8, been having a secret relationship with a local woman who was already in a long term lesbian relationship.
So JM was ‘the other woman’. Apparently when JM realised her beau was not the wealthy side of the pair, she dropped the poor one, and set about starting an affair with the rich one!!
When the affair was discovered by the poor one, the couple realised that JM was after money more than the pumble. The couple were both pretty broken by the whole drama apparently.

This happened long before the hunger period, and pre-motherhood, so it seems to me that she’s always been on the lookout for a meal ticket.
With this story in my head, I was not at all surprised to see JM jump at the chance to move into West London and live the high life, and to not consider the implications for her child!

I have no more ‘history’ of JM, unfortunately, but that story alone left me with a fascination of why she was so manipulative. I was quite excited to see her get some fame, as I did think somewhere down the line, they’d be some notoriety…

WOW. Thank you Scarlett this is some delicious piping hot tea 🫖

I KNEW Leggy dodged a bullet.

Thinking about HH2 when she can't afford shower gel or shampoo, apart from the Metro, has she ever touched upon period products?
I've no idea how expensive the products are now - that ship has thankfully sailed for me.

Same same my friend But yeah the good stuff is more expensive and yes I wish she had used her platform to speak on this. Menstruation should be talked about more in public discourse imho. Period poverty is a massive thing. Especially for post partum mums experiencing severe poverty. But Jack doesn’t care…she just wants to narcisstically ram sob stories of the bloodcatching Metro down our throats. Or into our underwear. Sorry guys.

 

[jenny2603]

See I don’t think she’s been read the riot act by anyone. Her agent and publisher stood by for years whilst she insulted the late Ivan Cameron, led flying monkey attacks on ordinary Twitter users and tried to get Jamie Oliver sacked. They’re hardly gonna baulk at a flounce over vile roasties. The reason she’s relatively quiet is cos every time she goes on Twitter she gets laughed at or asked difficult questions and her Royal Narcness can’t cope with such things.

It’s ironic that Jack has tried her best to cancel Jamie Oliver and David Walliams and Lee Anderson but has simply caused a slow low grade cancellation on herself.

She’ll be back tho, the weathers getting a lot colder and she’ll be back with some dessert related nonsense once the begins in Southend.

I agree about all the awful stuff she's said before and them letting it go but I do think from her recent silences someone has had a word. I don't think they've pulled her up this time out of any sense of morality or anything, I just think the timing of all this and it taking off on Twitter (her main market) as an issue would have them worried about it affecting sales and telling her to shut up. Sadly her previous comments about Ivan Cameron which should have got her in a lot more trouble than they did are the sort of thing tribal Twitter morons are absolutely fine with and wouldn't have prompted her agent or publisher to dig her up because it wouldn't affect sales.

 

[SendReceive]

A squig has just pointed out that Southend Vineyard's foodbank only accepts donations via PayPal.

She could have ringfenced the money in a Metro account because you can pay from a bank account through PayPal (which is what she's done) but that still doesn't explain why she would omit the date or not demonstrate she ringfinced it appropriately if that's what she did. It would stop a lot of the questions.

If she hasn’t got an awful lot to hide here she’s doing an excellent job of appearing as someone who has. Her previous “look everyone I’m definitely poor” screenshots had the Metro logo clearly displayed. So why edit “Metro” out of the Teemill screenshot? And why not also take a very quick screenshot of the Teemill pages which show the takings? I think she’s fucked this time.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

I just looked at Veganish on Amazon and it turns out there's a photo of her looking gormless in an egg chair. Veganish indeed. A tofu chair if you please.

View attachment 1701626

Puts me in mind of

 

[Marj24]

I remember I commented that the piping looked suss and not the sort of thing Jack would do. Someone else took on the mantle of finding the fish pie. It was ages ago, but maybe someone with ninja search skills can find the posts?

My search skills are useless but my memory is not too bad. I think this is the pie she tried to pass off as her own.

 

[TheCat'sMother]

View attachment 1701581
I feel like starting an online yoghurt shop, selling only Total 0% and charging £1.60, just to fuck with this dozy squig’s head. I mean, really?

These are exactly the sort of people who write to & threaten soap opera characters. Give me strength.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I won't lie, I think the whole thing would have benefitted from a verse about her chesterfield and Royal Doulton with the hand-printed blue periwinkles.

Sellin' my Doulton out on the BOULEVAAAARD of austerity
No place to call hooooome
Thanks to the eeeevil toooories

Imagine the below in the style of Joan Jett, Lita Ford or another cool lady rocker of your choice with Jack shredding it on the guitar and rocking out.

The updated 2022 version would be:

A working class girl stealing food to survive
Eyes closed at roundabouts so still cannot drive
Blaming mummy and daddy that I cannot swim
Throwing slop shite together that’s really quite grim

Claiming multiple times I was a prozzy and whore
While I still hide from the bailiffs behind my front door
Said I was “almost” evicted, now it’s multiple times
And don’t fucking ask about that index of Vimes

Lived rough for two long years in the freezing and damp
Now I own a smol pig hat and THAT BLOODY LAMP